Melon1
10-04-12, 12:00
Hi Everyone
Does anyone else wake up in the morning, feel okay for about 15 minutes, then subconcsiously assess themselves and suddenly feel the wave of anxiety slowly take hold for the day?
It's almost as if my body is in a habit of feeling this way and I am so fed up with feeling like this. It's a real tension in the head filled with worry and dread,.
This latest bout of HA has been going since January and I am sick of it. I have changed from a fun loving girl to an anxious, sad, pessimistic, quiet, unsociable recluse. I feel as if I am no fun to my husband at all anymore. He is really positive and cheery. He knows that I am feeling like this although doesn't understand why. He is very patient with me. Our sex life has bottomed and I have no interest whatsoever.
I love him more than anything (except my girls) and wish I could be how I used to. His mum has parkinsons and is really poorly and I do forget this sometimes. Luckily he is amazing with our girls while I wallow in my health obsessions.
I have had various tests over the years regarding my health and when they come back fine, I am okay for a few months until another symptom appears, then the cycle starts again. In my head I have had ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, liver cancer and lung.
Cancer is my main worry and I am completely terrified of getting it. I currently have awful neck pain and clicking every time I move my head. The pain spreads to my tendons at the side of my neck and behind my ears and to my throat. It feels as if my throat is closing sometimes. Also, a real tension in the back of my head. The pain sometimes radiates into my breast bone. I am so scared that I have throat or oesophagul cancer and that it has spread to my bones.
I had a general blood test last week and my white blood cell result is low. I am now terrified this means I have cancer. I am waiting for my doctor to phone me and explain in more detail. I am going to be retested on Monday. Does anyone know what this can mean? I have googled a bit (naughty) but just couldnt help it. I had to stop after a while though as I felt a bit panicky.
Am I going to feel like this forever? I am 37 years old, not on any meds, tried CBT, but it didn't work for me. Am currently seeing a counsellor who is trying the Eye therapy with me starting next week. My anxiety started after the birth of my children, so she thinks this therapy will really help me. lets hope so!
I just dont' want to get to a ripe old age and still be worrying about my health! I keep thinking, as long as I can be around to get the kids in school, and then as long as I can be here to see them off to Uni, etc. I wish I didn't think so much... It is really tiring being me.
It's almost as if I need someone to throw statistics at me re: cancer or to tell me to pull my socks up!
I hope someone replies to me and gives me some hope that 1, I don't have cancer and 2/ anxiety doesn't last forever.
Love Melon X
Does anyone else wake up in the morning, feel okay for about 15 minutes, then subconcsiously assess themselves and suddenly feel the wave of anxiety slowly take hold for the day?
It's almost as if my body is in a habit of feeling this way and I am so fed up with feeling like this. It's a real tension in the head filled with worry and dread,.
This latest bout of HA has been going since January and I am sick of it. I have changed from a fun loving girl to an anxious, sad, pessimistic, quiet, unsociable recluse. I feel as if I am no fun to my husband at all anymore. He is really positive and cheery. He knows that I am feeling like this although doesn't understand why. He is very patient with me. Our sex life has bottomed and I have no interest whatsoever.
I love him more than anything (except my girls) and wish I could be how I used to. His mum has parkinsons and is really poorly and I do forget this sometimes. Luckily he is amazing with our girls while I wallow in my health obsessions.
I have had various tests over the years regarding my health and when they come back fine, I am okay for a few months until another symptom appears, then the cycle starts again. In my head I have had ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, liver cancer and lung.
Cancer is my main worry and I am completely terrified of getting it. I currently have awful neck pain and clicking every time I move my head. The pain spreads to my tendons at the side of my neck and behind my ears and to my throat. It feels as if my throat is closing sometimes. Also, a real tension in the back of my head. The pain sometimes radiates into my breast bone. I am so scared that I have throat or oesophagul cancer and that it has spread to my bones.
I had a general blood test last week and my white blood cell result is low. I am now terrified this means I have cancer. I am waiting for my doctor to phone me and explain in more detail. I am going to be retested on Monday. Does anyone know what this can mean? I have googled a bit (naughty) but just couldnt help it. I had to stop after a while though as I felt a bit panicky.
Am I going to feel like this forever? I am 37 years old, not on any meds, tried CBT, but it didn't work for me. Am currently seeing a counsellor who is trying the Eye therapy with me starting next week. My anxiety started after the birth of my children, so she thinks this therapy will really help me. lets hope so!
I just dont' want to get to a ripe old age and still be worrying about my health! I keep thinking, as long as I can be around to get the kids in school, and then as long as I can be here to see them off to Uni, etc. I wish I didn't think so much... It is really tiring being me.
It's almost as if I need someone to throw statistics at me re: cancer or to tell me to pull my socks up!
I hope someone replies to me and gives me some hope that 1, I don't have cancer and 2/ anxiety doesn't last forever.
Love Melon X