suicidal thoughts and anti ds

[AngelHeart]

I'm dont with this now :( I feel so suicidal though I havent got the bottle to do anything. I've spoken to my Dr and hes prescribed me anti ds. I feel so down and I just want it to end now. I'm sick of feeling so tearful and out of it. I feel like my hubby and kids would be better off without me and I'm trying to be so strong but cant take it anymore. I just feel like I can't cope and if I can't cope now whilst my kids are young how the hell can I be there for them when they are older. If I can't cope with life now and my HA how can I cope as I get older? I'm trying so very hard to fight this without meds but I'm going round in circles over it and I really want to get better. If I go on anti ds how long will it take to stop me feeling this way? To stop me feeling suicidal? When I went on them in the past I only went on them for a bout a month as they gave me a fuzzy headed feeling, does this eventually go when you continue taking them.?

I've been given citrapram.

Please someone help me xxx

[LAURA48]

Hi Pauline - so sorry you are feeling so low - I'm too going through a very bad time.

Firstly this suicidal thoughts grab us when we are a low ebb - they go through my mind - but I would not have the bottle and would not leave my family and friends. It goes through everyone's minds when we are like this.

Depression is an illness and you need to take the medication. I am not on any antidepressants at the moment as have been messed about so much on them and waiting for a psychiatrist to prescribe them.

Once you find the right one they are a godsend - was on Prozac for 15 years and it made a new woman out of me but stopped working - long story! Yes you can get side effects - you may not but it is a small price to pay in my opinion - take them - start on a low dose - is it 10mg you have been given - or even break in half for a couple of weeks - we all get to the same point in the end.

Keep your chin up and use this site - you are certainly not alone.

Take care Laura x:hugs:

---------- Post added at 16:34 ---------- Previous post was at 16:32 ----------

I am crying all the time - never in my life cried as much - and feel in a bubble that I cannot get out of but will definitely take antidepressants - as cannot function like this.

[snowgoose]

Aw Pauline my heart goes out to you love . These thoughts are terrifying I do know . :hugs:
I have been there and understand everything you have written . everything ..family better off without me ........

But I am still here my love ten years later . With meds different to yours but still antidepressants that took a while to kick in . They all do . but you will start to feel better honest .
Your Gp will monitor you and adjust the dose to find the right one ...........and you will feel the darkness lifting .
talk to us and offload..........that is the best thing to know you are not alone ....and your life will not always be like this .
hang on lovely lady ...........hang on . We are all here with you .

remember also to ring samaritans if too low ok ? They dont give advice ,but are an ear if feeling so low and no one to listen . rang them myself a few times in middle of night .

http://www.samaritans.org/

try your meds and give them a go ...........and ask for therapy once your tired body and mind have had a rest .


snow :bighug1:

[LAURA48]

Hi Snowgoose - may I ask what meds you are taking and what was your diagnosis - do not wish to pry but know you have "been there".

Did you have a lot of trouble finding the right one?

Hope you are having a good day.

Love Laura:hugs:

[AngelHeart]

Thank you both for your replies. I've sufferd from depression for years. But I've never been as low as this for a bout 10 years and that didnt last very long. I usually dip in and out of depression and my thoughts become worse around my period. But I've been suffering from an inner ear disorder since last oct , which affects my balance and i'm waiting for an MRI scan and balance training thearpy. Alhough depressed I usually still looked forward to things and enjoyed socialising e.t.c but everything has gone for me now and I look forward to nothing and I dont go out with friends anymore as I feel so down . I know I would never be 100% cured from depression but I was a hell of alot better than this. This time everything has been robbed from me, my confidance, energy , life and I hate it :( xxx

[dreamingwolf]

Just remember that the thoughts will pass.

I know that every day is a challenge but every new day that you see is an accomplishment. Every moment you live makes you a stronger person.

And when you get through this (which you will) you can look back and remember how strong you were.

Depression just makes you see everything in your life through a clouded glass. It seems so easy to get rid of but when you're going through it it seems like it will never leave. But it will.

[snowgoose]

Hi Laura and Pauline :)

My diagnosis was hazy ...anxiety and depression ..what came first ? defo the anxiety .....the depression followed as the anxiety stopped me functioning at work and at home .
This took years mind looking back .
SSRIs were tried but I hated them .but in all fairness didnt give them long enough at that time [ten years ago ] . given prozac then .

Thankfully my Gp at the most desperate time [as you both know ] ...started me on tricyclic meds ..the old Ads .
Lofepramine twice daily .and Dosulepin at night .
Am still on Dosulepin .........but it is not advised now as it is inadvisable with suicide risk I think .

but they worked for me with minimal side effects .dry mouth .drowsy . head zaps sometimes which passed

maybe worth asking about ? but it seems they are not todays doc choice .

Hope Haz reads this .........wise gal . :winks:.....she will advise too xx

snow :hugs:

[LAURA48]

Pauline I too have suffered with anxiety and depression but this bout is a different kettle of fish - I don't enjoy anything, etc, it wasn't like that before - perhaps my age doesn't help 48 - don't know but take the meds.

[AngelHeart]

Thank you Dreamingwolf. I had panic attacks and severe anxiety at the beginning of the year and Ive overcome them and my hubby keeps reminding me how far I have come and what I have got over as sometimes I just dont see it myself. Each day the the minute is a struggle for me and I dread each day but this morning I did wake up without the sinking feeling in my stomach so I suppose thats a good thing. I just feel useless at the moment and just trying to stay normal by working, going the gym and doing things I usually would . Thanks so much for your reply :) x

---------- Post added at 17:16 ---------- Previous post was at 17:12 ----------

Snowgoose, yeah maybe I should see if something else could help. I'm a stubborn person who thinks I should do this on my own unfortunatly.

Laura I know what you mean about not enjoying things and thats the worst for me as I can cope with the depression but before I use to have happy days so it wasnt all bad, now everyday is unhappy for me !! xx

[LAURA48]

Thanks Snow

Know just what you are saying - I believe SSRIs are now no longer my friend - and have, out of interest, been looking down another route.

Yes definitely agree anxiety started first - have had it a long time - this increased irrational thoughts - which started the depression, crying all the time.

It is the thoughts that are bothering me more this time around - started when my little dog died in October - very sudden.

Tbh - think I have some traits of Pure O - as have always had them but didn't know it had a name - and the Prozac stopped it! but all SSRIs now make me much worse. Lots of people on here recommend Anafranil is very good - same family as the ones you take - of course I will have to get the diagnosis correct first from the psychiatrist (see 19th).

Apologies for going on! and hijacking your thread Pauline - but do take what has been prescribed.

Sending you a big:bighug1:Laura x

[AngelHeart]

Hijack all you like hun :) xx

[LAURA48]

bless you - remember Pauline - know is sounds corney but you are not on your own with this site - you can personal message me anytime chuck x:bighug1:

---------- Post added at 18:11 ---------- Previous post was at 18:08 ----------

Pauline - not enjoying things is horrid - used to love going out clothes shopping and looking at make up with my friends - just not interested. Nothing makes me happy - and that is depression.

It will pass once the medication kicks in - we will get there!