Feel like I cant live..

[MissSunshine]

Please take the time to read this and i am upon breaking point..
Every day is a struggle to feel normal.
Its gotten to the point where I wake up, and I cannot get out of bed...
I just want to rush back into bed, im 22 and feel like im 82.

My rountine is so poor because of this. I dont get to sleep till early hours I wake at 10 to take my acid pills (Zantac) and IBS pills and stay in bed till lunch time.
then when i need to get up i just feel like i cant..its such a struggle
and I feel awful.. I have a toddler and he needs me as well as my husband.
I dont want to stay in bed. But I feel normal anxiety free here..

I just feel so horrid upon waking, i get out of bed, feel weak and i cant breathe, i hyperventilate alot its one big panic attack, then i settle. once ive forced lunch down me i try to get on with house work, but i feel so tired even tho i slept in, im drinking more water too.

I have began to have panic attacks while eating now, i get to the point where i cant breathe and feel dizzy but after im fine. So there goes my enjoyment of food.

I dont drink i dont smoke. I am always shouting at my son.

The doctor doesnt know what to do with me, i have blood tests etc and its anxiety and panic attacks he says, but whys my day to day life a struggle?! :(

I just want to wake up and be full of life... feel awake, not sick, not weak!

Right now my shoulder blade is hurting, and i keep hyperventilating, i know its tiredness but i wanted to write this up.

My son needs me and i need some encouragement here as im so fed up with it all :(

[Pipkin]

Hi there,

I know how hard it is, I really do. Given the chance, I could easily stay in bed all day every day and just sleep trying to forget the anxiety.

Although I know this isn't easy, the answer is to force yourself to get up and stay active. I know you'll think you can't do it, but you can. It's so hard to do and feels like you really can't do it but after persevering, you will start to improve and then feel gradually like you can start to lead a normal life.

If you're anything like me, you'll be saying that this is impossible because you feel too ill. Think about everything you're missing out on - it has to be worth putting every bit of strength you have into trying, doesn't it?

My thoughts are with you

Take care

Pip xxx

[LAURA48]

Hi

So sorry you are having a horrid time - know how you feel my love.

Is there anyone you can have a chat with - your mum? health visitor?

I would go back to your doctor - is there a nice one in the practice - and you sound you are suffering with anxiety and depression.

Are you on any medication? as you sound as if you need some, eg, an antedepressant - you may still have post natal depression? Let me know what happens - you can always private message me.

You will get better but need to be on the right path first.

I am 48 and at the moment staying with my mum - my husband only lives up the road but when you are ill you need help - this illness is horrible.

Sending you a big:bighug1:Laura x

[honester]

I felt like this when I started with anxiety 2 years ago. I felt like I just couldn't carry on...My daughter was 2 nearly 3. I felt like I couldn't look after her....But I did and you can.
You need to establish some sort of routine whereby on waking (or set an alarm) for a reasonable hour in the morning (8am) - no matter how crappy / horrid you feel get up and start making breakfast for your family and plan activities for your day ahead. Get out of the house and do things .... even if it's just popping out for some bread and milk - do it!!
This is not easy at first and you feel horrid but you feel horrid anyway and by staying in bed and not motivating yourself you will only make yourself feel worse.

Mornings are always worse because you have had a bit of a break during your sleep,but eventually when you learn to get back in touch with your life and pay how you feel less attention the feelings will start to fade until they are gone.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!! - it's just a feeling and it can NOT harm you so get up and get going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hypo]

Ahh that sounds tough :( I dread getting up too but that is easing up somewhat now I'm medicated.

I think you should go back to your GP as well and perhaps get a referral for CBT and perhaps some more medication or other talk therapies.

If you want a chat ever please PM me. I'm happy to give you my number as well if you need someone to talk to. I would like to be able to talk to you and help you as when I had my second son I could have wrote this post. I know how dark it is and talking to people is what got me through it.

[macc noodle]

Hi there

Who looks after your toddler whilst you are in bed?

You cannot carry on like this and need some help to get you moving - I know it is horrible feeling like this but really you owe it not only to yourself but to your family to seek some help to manage this condition.

I suffer terrible HA, GAD and IBS as well as having just been diagnosed with fibroids and ovarian cysts. Yet I have always had to keep going no matter how bad I have felt and in the last few years can honestly say that I have never ever stayed in bed all morning because of my condition.

Why ??? because I would feel worse if I did - if I gave in completely to this, I would never ever feel better - the fight has to come from within - which I know is damned difficult when you feel so rubbish BUT you have to start somewhere and try and establish a routine for yourself that breaks this current cycle you are in.

First off, you have to get out of bed in the morning and get breakfast and be with your child - your child needs you and this has to be foremost in your mind to solving this problem. It does not matter how bad a night's sleep you have had the night before - you have to get up and get going.

Other posters are right - you need a routine - and in the end it will help you feel better.

Allocate yourself rest periods during the day rather than lying in bed in the mornings - you will feel the benefit if you can do this.

Also, get yourself back to the GP and tell them exactly how you feel and how you need to function better so can they please organise some meds and therapy to get you on track.

Good luck - if you are prepared to fight then half the battle is won and I know you can do it.

Macc Noodle.
xx

[Hypo]

I sent you a PM but I'm a bit concerned as you haven't been back on since this thread.

Has anyone heard from MissSunshine?

Please check in when you can :)

[little wren]

Hi miss sunshine

So your doctor diagnosed anxiety/panic what was his next step from there? Did he advise medication or some support for you? It is unfair of him to leave you suffering as you are. If he really does not know what to do with you then I'm sure he can refer you on to a psychiatrist. My doctor did that as soon as I went to see him for ocd and explained they know a lot more about anxiety disorders than a gp. Don't let the depression get any worse. You have support on here.

little wren x

[MissSunshine]

Hi all I cant say a big enough thank you for every single comment. I have read each one and its given me hope, I am starting to feel better and only just been able to get on the computer.
My husband is home at the miniute as he has been laid off work so he looks after my son.
However i have been able to start getting back to doing more around the house, i may still get up at 12 but i have got back into cleaning.
My doctors dont take this serously as soon as i said i dont want to be on medication they didnt offer any other help.
My IBS has been playing up big time as i dont have a normal diet i eat at all different times,but im always thinking my stomach bloating/pains/gas pains and nausa is something else
Today my fear is I have a cyst on my ovary. Im 22, I have regular periods i dont spot between periods but i am bloated and ive been having pain on my right hand side so ive got it into my head its a cyst! :(

thats when i stop my day and boom im back to the anxiety wreck and i need my bed.
:weep: