I_Can't
14-04-12, 14:25
Hello
I am new here, I have been browsing for quite sometime but decided to sign up today as I just can't do my dissertation.
So far I have only written 2700 words out of 10,000 - 12,000, I have managed to get an extension until 23 April but I justt can't motivate myself to get this done.
One of my biggest problems is that I gave out over 100 questionnaires (I poseted them through the letter boxes of houses in my local area as they fit the requirements of the type of respondents I want). But now I am too scared to go an collect them. I gave them out 2 - 3 weeks ago and on the information I provided it said I would be back in a few days to collect them, but I just can't. I just can't face interacting with strangers at the moment otherwise I would have gone door to door and filled out the questionnaires with respondents at the time.
My literature review is awful. I cannot think of anything to write, I have only done 1,100 words which are basically just definitions of a few things I am looking into. I just can't think of anything else relevant to write.
I went to go an see my supervisor on Wed at the room scheduled on my timetable but I was 10 mins late and the door was locked, I tried it several times. But when I emailed my supervisor he said he was defintley there... but no one was I definetly went to the correct room on my time table. As a result I now have to wait till Monday (the original submission date before I got an extension) to see him as he refuses to give advice via email.
I have told the uni I have 'issues'. I've got doctors notes, I see a mental health person from uni every week, and I told them they should tell me lecturers etc, but it doesn't seem they have, or maybe they just don't care and don't think my depression/anxiety issues are real or valid. I don't feel I am really getting much help, my mental health person suggests things and they don't really action them in my department.
Now its just making me feel more paranoid and stupid for not being able to do things, I also have 2 other pieces of coursework in on the same day which I just can't do either. I asked if I could see on of the other teachers about his work this week as it is due in Monday before 2pm... and he said no, he will only see me on Monday at 2pm and by then it will be too late.
I don't know what to do... I have managed to do some work this year, I even got a good mark for a couple of them, but now I am failing miserably and no one seems to understand. My bf doesn't help he just tells me to do my work... well if I could 'just do my work' of course I would. I didn't exactly plan to throw away everything I have worked for in the final year of uni.
It is starting to get to the point now where I start thinking what would be classed as suicidal thoughts, not that I plan to act on them, but I wonder what would happen if for example I just held my breath and didn't start breathing again, or if I am at the gym in the pool if I just sat on the bottom and didn't bother to come up, or if I am driving up a dead end road what would happen if I just didnt stop and smashed into a wall... I feel that I am a waste of space in this world right now. But I KNOW what I am thinking is irrational and stupid, but I can't help thinking it...
Sorry this is so long, thank you for taking the time to read it.
I am new here, I have been browsing for quite sometime but decided to sign up today as I just can't do my dissertation.
So far I have only written 2700 words out of 10,000 - 12,000, I have managed to get an extension until 23 April but I justt can't motivate myself to get this done.
One of my biggest problems is that I gave out over 100 questionnaires (I poseted them through the letter boxes of houses in my local area as they fit the requirements of the type of respondents I want). But now I am too scared to go an collect them. I gave them out 2 - 3 weeks ago and on the information I provided it said I would be back in a few days to collect them, but I just can't. I just can't face interacting with strangers at the moment otherwise I would have gone door to door and filled out the questionnaires with respondents at the time.
My literature review is awful. I cannot think of anything to write, I have only done 1,100 words which are basically just definitions of a few things I am looking into. I just can't think of anything else relevant to write.
I went to go an see my supervisor on Wed at the room scheduled on my timetable but I was 10 mins late and the door was locked, I tried it several times. But when I emailed my supervisor he said he was defintley there... but no one was I definetly went to the correct room on my time table. As a result I now have to wait till Monday (the original submission date before I got an extension) to see him as he refuses to give advice via email.
I have told the uni I have 'issues'. I've got doctors notes, I see a mental health person from uni every week, and I told them they should tell me lecturers etc, but it doesn't seem they have, or maybe they just don't care and don't think my depression/anxiety issues are real or valid. I don't feel I am really getting much help, my mental health person suggests things and they don't really action them in my department.
Now its just making me feel more paranoid and stupid for not being able to do things, I also have 2 other pieces of coursework in on the same day which I just can't do either. I asked if I could see on of the other teachers about his work this week as it is due in Monday before 2pm... and he said no, he will only see me on Monday at 2pm and by then it will be too late.
I don't know what to do... I have managed to do some work this year, I even got a good mark for a couple of them, but now I am failing miserably and no one seems to understand. My bf doesn't help he just tells me to do my work... well if I could 'just do my work' of course I would. I didn't exactly plan to throw away everything I have worked for in the final year of uni.
It is starting to get to the point now where I start thinking what would be classed as suicidal thoughts, not that I plan to act on them, but I wonder what would happen if for example I just held my breath and didn't start breathing again, or if I am at the gym in the pool if I just sat on the bottom and didn't bother to come up, or if I am driving up a dead end road what would happen if I just didnt stop and smashed into a wall... I feel that I am a waste of space in this world right now. But I KNOW what I am thinking is irrational and stupid, but I can't help thinking it...
Sorry this is so long, thank you for taking the time to read it.