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View Full Version : An OCD Vent



oceanwavs
14-05-04, 22:29
A little more than a month ago I was diagnosed with OCD. I had always thought since I was younger that there may be a problem for my overwhelming need to confess something I'd done or something I had thought.
Well, OCD really became a problem for me in my marriage about 3 years ago. My husband and I were married young and had problems from the start. I saw an ex two years after this contiuned and became obsessed with the thought of him. This lasted for nearly two years. Something dramatic had to happen in order for this OCD moment to pass. We began to hang out and it was sort of easy because he's the reason why I know my husband. I told my husband ALL. Everything I said that may have been wrong, things I'd done that may have been flirty or blah blah...it didn't matter if me and my husband were getting along, I'd confess anyway. It was easier to hold it in for a SMALL amount of time if we were feuding. Well, I didn't realize this was OCD related but I knew something was right when I saw him and didn't feel anything like I THOUGHT of him...kwim? Sometimes my thoughts LEAD me to be a certain way. (Hope this makes sense =/ )
One of my sisters friends last year was driving a car and was in an accident in which his best friend passed. I called to send my thoughts and began talking to him on a regular basis, this then turned into another OCD episode too. This one lasted a LOT less longer because of my best friend now, who has OCD herself. She stopped me one day on another one of my rambling episodes about this situation (mind was wrapped in it) and told me about HER experience that caused deep depression. I was stunned and then after this became obsessed with the THOUGHT of OCD...gah something all the time. Anyway, I was put on Paxil and am feeling MUCH better! I'm not as aware and analyzing my thoughts, I can actually FORGET to tell something!! LOL My obsessions are WAY down and when one starts I recognize it. Whew I feel SO much better...
Sorry so long! Just wanted to see if someone could relate =)
I'm happy to say my husband and I have overcome our rocky times and he is very supportive of my "new found" diagnosis. How we stayed together, God only knows...but I'm so glad we did =)