chascat
20-04-12, 10:25
Good morning folks, hope you don't mind me joining.
I am currently being treated for breast cancer but ironically that's not what's worrying me. For years now i've had a fear of Motor Neurone Disease, starting when I saw a documentary about 20 years ago, i've carried this fear since. My muscles twitch really badly, but not constantly, sometimes for weeks on end and sometimes not at all but over the years I've kind of accepted that it's benign, however over the last few days my fears have resurfaced big time. It started when I woke up and my eyelids didn't open. I realise everyone has this as times and the reality of it is that i'm currently undergoing chemotherapy and this causes dry eyes so expect that's what it is but i'm now scared to sleep in case my eyes don't open. Then yesterday, I was leaning on my fist and when to talk and my mouth didn't open. Now I don't know if this is real or perceived, it was so split second I just don't know, it felt like my tongue had stuck to the roof of my mouth so that's what if might have been, if it happenned at all. However now i'm back on the what if treadmill, i've been awake all night and am terrified to talk in case I start slurring my words, i'm so scared. It's ridiculous to think i'm currently fighting cancer and fearing something that in reality I expect is all in my mind, I know i'm being stupid but the tears still flow and I can't stop the worry.
Any words of advice would be very welcome. Thank you for listening x
I am currently being treated for breast cancer but ironically that's not what's worrying me. For years now i've had a fear of Motor Neurone Disease, starting when I saw a documentary about 20 years ago, i've carried this fear since. My muscles twitch really badly, but not constantly, sometimes for weeks on end and sometimes not at all but over the years I've kind of accepted that it's benign, however over the last few days my fears have resurfaced big time. It started when I woke up and my eyelids didn't open. I realise everyone has this as times and the reality of it is that i'm currently undergoing chemotherapy and this causes dry eyes so expect that's what it is but i'm now scared to sleep in case my eyes don't open. Then yesterday, I was leaning on my fist and when to talk and my mouth didn't open. Now I don't know if this is real or perceived, it was so split second I just don't know, it felt like my tongue had stuck to the roof of my mouth so that's what if might have been, if it happenned at all. However now i'm back on the what if treadmill, i've been awake all night and am terrified to talk in case I start slurring my words, i'm so scared. It's ridiculous to think i'm currently fighting cancer and fearing something that in reality I expect is all in my mind, I know i'm being stupid but the tears still flow and I can't stop the worry.
Any words of advice would be very welcome. Thank you for listening x