secretsquirrel
21-04-12, 17:12
Hi - I found this forum a massive help in helping me hold things together when I started taking fluoxetine just before Christmas for depression with a bit of anxiety. I suddenly realised the other day that I hadn't felt the need to visit for months, so I thought I should drop in and share a post on here in the hope it might help others.
There were a few factors in me getting ill. I've had depression before, am prone to seasonal depression, had a promotion which was stressful. I started on 20mg fluox just before Xmas and had a terrible time over the festive season with the initial side-effects. I lost a lot of weight, could hardly eat, had constant anxiety in my stomach, could hardly move from the couch. I told my employers, who were really supportive, and took some time off (about a week on top of the Xmas break). I also took some diazepam short term for the anxiety the fluox was causing.
I told lots of friends, too, who were also incredibly supportive, and some of my colleagues/friends would check in with me by email every day to see how I was doing. To be honest, I think being able to tell everyone around me what was going on was at least as big a factor in feeling well again as the drugs or the onset of spring (though those have both helped a lot too).
It wasn't plain sailing - around and just after the 8 week mark, when I was feeling crappy, I did think I might need to increase my dose, but I held on for a bit because I didn't want to go through any more side effects. Now I'm about 4 months in and things just keep getting better.
I feel positive about life, am looking forward to the future and making plans. I sometimes feel there aren't enough hours in the day (or pounds in my purse!) to do all the great things I'd like to do. I'd be lying if I said I felt constantly cheerful, but most of the time I feel normal, and I'm often amazed at how much pleasure I can get from the simplest of things.
I always managed to keep up with exercise, even in my darkest moments, and at the end of March I completed my first triathlon, which has been a huge boost to my confidence. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I got a new job, which is also related to exercise. I don't start for another couple of months, but I'm really excited about it. My current job is a big source of stress, and I think this will suit me much more. I can't believe I've achieved it, and hope it's going to be a really exciting new chapter of my life.
I still try and be open and honest about my mental health whenever I feel able. An amazing number of people have reciprocated by telling me that they've also had depression or anxiety, and it makes all of us feel better not to feel like we're alone or freaky.
So to everyone who feels like they're sitting in the dark at the moment, and don't have the power to escape:
* You're not alone.
* You didn't do anything to deserve this: it's an illness. You're not weak or stupid.
* This will pass. I promise. It might not be quick, and you might not be able to control exactly when it or how it goes, but it will.
* Tell people. A huge weight is lifted when you don't feel like you have some kind of deep dark secret that you're hiding from people. It also helps a lot when you discover that people respond to the news kindly, rather than thinking you're pathetic or weird, which is what your depressed/anxious brain fears when it decides not to tell anyone. Lots of people around you will know exactly how you feel, and even the ones that don't will feel compassion, and are likely to respect you more, rather than less, once they know what you're going through.
And finally, because it bears repeating:
* This will pass.
Hugs to you all, and thanks to NMP for being amazing xxx
:hugs:
There were a few factors in me getting ill. I've had depression before, am prone to seasonal depression, had a promotion which was stressful. I started on 20mg fluox just before Xmas and had a terrible time over the festive season with the initial side-effects. I lost a lot of weight, could hardly eat, had constant anxiety in my stomach, could hardly move from the couch. I told my employers, who were really supportive, and took some time off (about a week on top of the Xmas break). I also took some diazepam short term for the anxiety the fluox was causing.
I told lots of friends, too, who were also incredibly supportive, and some of my colleagues/friends would check in with me by email every day to see how I was doing. To be honest, I think being able to tell everyone around me what was going on was at least as big a factor in feeling well again as the drugs or the onset of spring (though those have both helped a lot too).
It wasn't plain sailing - around and just after the 8 week mark, when I was feeling crappy, I did think I might need to increase my dose, but I held on for a bit because I didn't want to go through any more side effects. Now I'm about 4 months in and things just keep getting better.
I feel positive about life, am looking forward to the future and making plans. I sometimes feel there aren't enough hours in the day (or pounds in my purse!) to do all the great things I'd like to do. I'd be lying if I said I felt constantly cheerful, but most of the time I feel normal, and I'm often amazed at how much pleasure I can get from the simplest of things.
I always managed to keep up with exercise, even in my darkest moments, and at the end of March I completed my first triathlon, which has been a huge boost to my confidence. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I got a new job, which is also related to exercise. I don't start for another couple of months, but I'm really excited about it. My current job is a big source of stress, and I think this will suit me much more. I can't believe I've achieved it, and hope it's going to be a really exciting new chapter of my life.
I still try and be open and honest about my mental health whenever I feel able. An amazing number of people have reciprocated by telling me that they've also had depression or anxiety, and it makes all of us feel better not to feel like we're alone or freaky.
So to everyone who feels like they're sitting in the dark at the moment, and don't have the power to escape:
* You're not alone.
* You didn't do anything to deserve this: it's an illness. You're not weak or stupid.
* This will pass. I promise. It might not be quick, and you might not be able to control exactly when it or how it goes, but it will.
* Tell people. A huge weight is lifted when you don't feel like you have some kind of deep dark secret that you're hiding from people. It also helps a lot when you discover that people respond to the news kindly, rather than thinking you're pathetic or weird, which is what your depressed/anxious brain fears when it decides not to tell anyone. Lots of people around you will know exactly how you feel, and even the ones that don't will feel compassion, and are likely to respect you more, rather than less, once they know what you're going through.
And finally, because it bears repeating:
* This will pass.
Hugs to you all, and thanks to NMP for being amazing xxx
:hugs: