My anxiety is ruining my life

[guiltyhyperchondriac]

Hi everyone,

just signed up to this site and having a very anxious day/weekend and just needed to share. My anxiety mainly manifests itself in health concerns which are mainly fear of HIV and fear of pregnancy. My fear of pregnancy has been greatly exacerbated by the fact that fell pregnant in January and went through with a termination at about 6 weeks. Since then I have used double protection (condoms and microgynon 30) this week I have taken 4 pregnancy tests all showing negative and i am currently on my pill break waiting for my period and very anxious. I also fear getting arrested for a crime I didnt commit, and this fear has been made worse by the fact that I used to have a minor shoplifting problem that only happened a few times and were for very minor object and something I wouldn't dream of now. I just cant stop worrying and expecting that at any moment I will either be in a nightmare situation which I have no control over. This is well and truly ruining my life. Just wondered if anyone has experienced anything similar, cos I sometimes end up feeling like i'm some kind of freak,

xx

[LAURA48]

Hi - you sound, as know from my recent diagnosis, as if you have ocd - the thought side.

I have had problems pretty much like yours - I had a fear of getting pregnant - found the pill - microgynon - especially made be very depressed - worth having a look at that too! I never got pregnant - my husband had a vasectomy - the ultimate! but even then if my period was ever late I would panic!

May I ask your age and any other medication you are on - as your thoughts sound very much the same as mind - like did I do that, etc,

I suffered in silence for many years then 15 years ago was put on Prozac and that changed my life - in stopped working in Oct - and had to see a psychiatrist the other day - told him my thoughts, etc, and said I had OCD - he is putting me on Citalopram - so see how it goes but very frightening. He said anxiety was behind it all.

[guiltyhyperchondriac]

Im 22 and no other medication. I used to be on citalopram which i was prescribed for depression initially, I found it really helped my anxiety but it made me put on weight which increased my anxiety as ive suffered from an eating disorder and have a fear of putting weight on! (this does not happen in every case i want to stress!) that is interesting that you think I may have OCD, how does this thought OCD work? Thank you so much for sharing with me, it helps so much xxx

[LAURA48]

Hi - the thought ocd - is really chemically related, thought pattern, etc, I really don't know, but I was 21 when all my anxiety started by being bullied badly in the workplace - I am 48 now and have managed it with meds, but I did find in my 20s when I went on the pill the depression on the microgynon was very bad and that made be put on weight. I then went on the mini pill and the depression lifted along with my husband using condoms! What instigated your anxiety in the first place - there must have been a trigger?

Definitely feel you need to see your GP and tell him your fears - tbh - I know I am older and I like to be slim but much would sooner be a few pounds heavier than anxious and depressed. Go and see your GP.

Laura :welcome:to the site x

[guiltyhyperchondriac]

Thanks Laura, you are a great help. I am not sure what triggered my anxiety but I remember it being obsessive from the ages of as early as about nine or ten, I have no idea what triggered it, but i've always had a fear that friends and family would abandon me. There is nothing obvious that would have triggered this. I am in therapy, but very confused as to the cause of my anxiety

[LAURA48]

Hi - it is so horrible isn't it - very frightening too - and you cannot talk to people about it - keep on this site you will find loads of good advice and tips.

It has really helped me

Good luck with the therapy - you are in the right direction!