Bad night again. [Archive]

countrygirl

22-04-12, 20:17

I am going through a can't sleep phase - I have them at least once a year and can last months.

Mine was triggered by drinking stong coffee unknowingly a few weeks ago ( thought it was decaf!) which kept me awake all night.

I took sleeping pills for 4 nights and still only got a few hours sleep but then my mental attitude changed and I thought so what I am not worrying about sleep and I slept fine for 5 nights but then started waking about 5am and not being able to get back to sleep and then last night back to square one with worrying before I got to bed convinced I would not sleep. I did fall asleep but only slept for half an hour! I eventually took a sleeping pill and got 5 hrs sleep.

I know no one can make me better but how can I stop myself getting into a panic about bedtime and sleep as its self fulfilling. I have another weeks worth of sleeping pills but it scares me that I can't keep taking them and worry about what I am going to do.

MrRedShirt

22-04-12, 20:24

Hi Countrygirl

Sorry to hear your sleep problems have returned :(

Not sure what to suggest, other than the CBT that I've already mentioned..

Are you keeping busy during the day to tire yourself out?

countrygirl

22-04-12, 21:59

MrRedShirt

22-04-12, 22:06

Thanks for replying. Tiring myself out does not mean I will sleep:wacko:I can be literally cross eyed with tiredness and still not be able to sleep. I know its all in my mind:blush: as once my mind set changes as it did for a few days last week then I sleep normally ( not good but normal for me).

Are you still taking the zops??? When do you run out??

You need to learn how to change your mindset!

Yeah I still have about 5 zops left, was just wondering if I'll try and sleep without one tonight.. see how it goes :wacko:

monika

22-04-12, 23:50

You're psyching yourself out even before you get to bed. Your concerned about sleep all day so when you go to bed you've pretty much already expected your not going to sleep. You want to, but you're so focused and afraid that you're not going to be able to that it keeps you up and alert. Recently I went through a period where I couldn't fall asleep till 3-4 am every night. First I was anxious and fustrated, then I realized wow i can use this time in bed to just chill out. I would lay and listen to music and listen to relation and mediation mp3s. After 2 nights of this I was back to normal. By not working yourself up you'll get to bed.
You already said mental attitude helped - so get the right attitude again! IF you did it once, you can do it again.

countrygirl

23-04-12, 12:06

Saw my Gp this morning taking my husband with me as I had to tell the truth about how bad I am at moment with him in the room!

I have a history of being like this ( usually a few times a year) and usually as I say its like a switch and I go from being a near suicidal mess to okay again which is what happened just over a week ago but this time I have ended up back again.

The GP said we need to get a handle on your extreme anxiety - I cannot take beta blockers as I had bad asthma as a child - he has given me a presc for diazepam to take during the day for a week plus enough sleeping pills for a week as well. He said he is hoping that this amount of drug will calm me enough to flick the switch. He knows that I am very savvy on medical matters and he said he is happy for me to do this as I am sensible. He said if this does not work then go back and he will seek professional help for me.

My husband told him that i always have to get to a really really low point, hit rock bottom and be a real mess and then the switch seems to flick and I improve which is what I thought had happened last week!

I so agree with the posts about my mindset:blush:. I did fall asleep for half an hour last night but woke up and immediately started panicking because I had woken up. Instead of reading a book or listening to music I tossed and turned and paced the house ( husband slept though it all!) and was really desperate. At 1am I took a sleeping pill but of course by then I was literally tearing my hair out, sobbing my heart out. I fell asleep immediately!! but ony slept till 4.30am and woke up and straight back into the sobbing panicking mess.

I really hate myself when I am like this:weep::weep::weep::weep:

My husband is wonderful but he never ever has trouble sleeping so doens't know or understand what it is like.

MrRedShirt

23-04-12, 12:39

Hi countrygirl,

I'm glad you went to the doctor and explained the extent of the issue!

I think I agree with the doctor that it's your anxiety about the sleep rather than the sleep itself.. Hopefully the diazepam will help you flick that switch - I'm sure you know all about the issues surrounding benzos, so you're being sensible with the amount and frequency.

Try and use the calmer periods to think about what it is that's bothering you - maybe write down your thoughts from a calmer perspective and look at them rationally?

Hope you find some rest soon :)

I was lazy last night and took another zop.. only 3 left now! :wacko:

countrygirl

23-04-12, 19:55

Thanks Mr Red. The issue around benzos is also one of my worries as I know that I cannot rely on them, when I said this to the Dr he said Whoa stop we will cross that bridge when we come to it, worrrying about whats in the future is whats making you so bad and he is right of course.

I have had long talks with my ever patient husband and we agree that these episodes have been happening at least 2-3 times a year for as long as he has known me (32yrs). He says I always follow the same pattern down before I can come up. Past 2 years I have been having much longer good spells, pity it didn't last!

I am so tired I cannot see straight tonight:wacko:. I have decided that I will go to bed as I might fall asleep as I did last night but if like last night I wake up after half an hour I will take the stronger termazepam and will NOT lay there panicking. Here's hoping.

Mr Red how are you coping knowing you only have 3 zops left??