Just want to be happy !!!

[AngelHeart]

:weep: I'm so sick of it now and I really dont know what to do. I don't want to go on meds as I wanted to try get through it on my own but I feel like I'm never going to be better ever again. Ive had depression, Gad, Ha and panic attacks for years. The Gad, Ha and Panic attacks comes and goes and I can managed them now but its the depression that I can't shake anymore, I've particually gotton bad over the last 6 months. At least before this I looked forward to things and had motivation to do things but now I have nothing. I feel so sorry for my kids as I just feel so down all the time and I have no motivation to play with them, or decorate the house which needs doing , or even go out socially anymore. Everything is such a big effort for me. I really need to do this and don't know how. Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it off my chest. Also I feel like I'm stuck in a routine in my life and every day is the same, I just struggle through each day and cant wait for sleep of a night. :weep:

[Pinkcasi]

Sorry things are bad for you just now, i know how you feel and though i dont know you and it's your decision i would say there is nothing wrong with meds to help you deal with stuff, im exactly the same, GAD, HA panic attacks and Depression, like you i can deal with the anxiety and up until this weekend i had not had a panic attack in years, (i dont know where it came from my boyfriend had to talk me down) but the depression flares when you least expect, i just recently came off my meds cold turkey (big mistake) and took a total nose dive, spent a week in bed crying, im back on the pills again now and while im not perfect i think i can deal, it's horrible, i've been on pills for about a year and i dont want to be on them forever but it helps me to live my life so i have to accept it at the moment and im ok with that, it's not a weakness to need medication if it helps you, if you has asthma you would use and inhaler every day right, would that make you weak.
Go talk to the Dr, tell him your concerns, and feel free to rant any time :)

[rock chick]

Totally agree about at least trying some anti depressants. You're not making a commitment, in the early days you generally go just stop them because they haven't had time to build up into your system. Even when they have it's just a matter of slowly going off them.

I too am uncomfortable changing my anti depressants even though it may be beneficial, however the idea of being on them in general doesn't bother me. I'm in no way saying you need to go on some, however you're sounding like you're at the end of your rope so why not try something that may give you some hope back? They need only be until you're back on your feet with your depression.

I also would like to say while the anxiety I have bothers me greatly I am troubled by the depression too, I understand what you're saying with each day seems the same, it's like you're going through the motions, what you found yourself wanting to do & finding joy is different, doesn't seem to make you happy (or at least as much as it did), at least that's the case with me & it sounds like with you too.

Stay strong & don't abandon hope, you are worth having a happy life!:bighug1:

[AngelHeart]

Thank yo9u both for your wonderfel replies :) I've had a better few days and this is what stops me from going on anti ds, still not much motivation but I went the gym this morning so thats made me feel better. But evertime I think I'm getting better I still have a slight edge to me like something bads going to happen and I cant shake it, awful feeling. Hope you are both ok xxx

[Mountainclimber]

Sorry for your depression, you know the best thing you could do, is to buy a tin of paint and paint the smallest room in your house, wack on the radio and paint away.
You will feel so much better for doing it, and it will take your mind off things. Go for it girl GIRL POWER. Now before you finnish reading this give me a big SMILE. :hugs:

[AngelHeart]

Hahaha :D Thank you !! I do really need to do some painting so will have to take your advice !! xxx