Its destroying mine n my familys life

[gemjones85]

Hi all - im new to this.

Im 27 yo female. I have 4 boys 7 3 and 17 month twins. My health anxiety started when the boys were about 5 months old. I suffered PND with my 2nd child and havent been the same since. I dont know if when my 5 week old twin stopped breathing (due to bronciolitus) that sent me so stressed like this.

I constantly worry im going to die and leave my boys with out a mum. I dont get ne help really - its me and the boys 24/7. I cant enjoy myself ne more cos i think if i do - il get cancer - i know how stupid this sounds but i cant think rationally about it, even tho im what im doing to myself - icant stop. I have phatom pains??? -does ne one else - like i had a pain in my back so was sent for xray. once i was told it was clear, the pain went. its now back and i have pain in my breast/chest.

I am also over eating - i know a main cancer symptom is loss of appitite - so by over eating its like im putting myself at ease.
My partner doesnt get me at all and thinks im a crank and im worried he`l leave if he knows exactly whats going on in my head. Iv asked him would he take care of the boys properly if i died and he says of course but it stil doesnt help......

Im planning on going back the docs - i was on tablets but dont like feeling robotic. but im scared he`l think im a nutter if i tell him all my aches and pains.

Any advice please xx

[oneofus]

Hi,

You're doing exactly the right thing, see your doctor and discuss what your worried about and you concerns about medication. It's not the only possible treatment and from what you've said talk therapy or CBT may be the way to go. There are some very good easy to read books around as well, if you don't want to splash the cash the you can always download a Kindle reader for your pc and then read a chapter or two of books on mental issues for free. It sounds odd but just reading about other peoples stories can be incredibly helpful, our local doctors even do books on prescription from the library.

Take care and enjoy those children, if they're not running you ragged yet.

One of us

[flame1981]

Hi, i just wanted to say i feel excatly the same as u do, i have two children ages 6 & 4 and im constantly worrying something is going to happen to me or them, its taking over my life and i just cant enjoy anything, im constantly thinking one of us has fatal illness.
I went to the doctors today, as i cant seem to deal with this on my own, they have put me on fuloxotine, so im just hoping they help me.
Just wanted to let u know u are not on your own
xxxxx

[gemjones85]

Thanks for ur replies - I wrote a letter yesterday of "my wishes" sealed it and hid it away in my things - just stuff what id like to happen and not. It really gave me some relief, it was upsetting but in a weight of shoulders kinda way.

I have never been able to enjoy myself since my 2nd son and i would give ne thing to be "me" again. My trouble is - i know im looking for lumps/bumps etc and im being irrational but i cant control it.

ive been getting these pains in top of back and shoulders - and i know its tension -like a knot - but obviously google search threw "lung cancer" into the equation" - its a bloody curse!!
i was on citalopram which were ok - but the gp changed them to setraline, omg never again - i felt sucidal an had a major panic attack.

XXXtake care XX