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paradise
11-09-03, 04:55
Hi!
I am new here, I had my panic attack about three weeks ago, it was a nightmare. I am a paediatric nurse and we have to deal with children and parents and the doctors. My panic attack started when we have to stop wearing masks, and I realised that i am having palpitations and tremblings of my face. I was shocked why am I feeling like this... I sanked into anxiety and depression when i think about why that is happening to me.
At the same time I caught a very bad flu and that worsen my situation, suicidal thoughts came over me.
In the past, I was a confident nurse and can face people or parents and do my work easily but now I had changed dramatically and even have to give up the advanced course which I am going next year. My future is tarnished by this panic attack. I applied for two weeks no pay leave and later I have to get back to work, my fear is still unresolved when i think of facing the parents ... and I have to wear the mask to cover my fear.
My psychologist told me to think positively and do the relaxation exercise but that didn't really work for me. Having the thoughts of working in a enviroment have to face the parents and doctors makes me even more scared, I tried to think positively like " i can do it", " I can make it" but the fear is still present.
Furthermore, I am the breadwinner of my family and I can't afford to lose this job.
Why panic attack has to hit me, I was having a good job and promising future but now it is all tarnished because of this panic attack.
Can anyone out there try to help me?

nomorepanic
11-09-03, 12:08
Hi paradise

Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. Panic can hit anyone at any time and for no apparent reason.

You need to get it under control asap as mine went untreated for too long and I got Panic disorder too.

Have you seen your doctor? He may prescribe a short term of anti-depressants or tranquilizers to get you over the worst.

You do need to take control of your breathing and that is where the relaxation exercises come in. You should practice the abdmoninal breathing (explained on the website) and try to take control of the panic.

Don't let this ruin your life or take it over - try to get on top of things now and then you will feel more confident and able to work again.

If the worst comes to the worst then you may have to give up that job and find something that causes you less stress. I appreciate that you need the money - is there something else that you could do at the hospital for a short time - just until you feel ready to face people again?

Keep your chin up and remember - there are people here that can help too :-)

Nicola

Meg
11-09-03, 13:57
Hi Paradise,

This is so common with nurses. The hiding behind a uniform or in your case a mask.

You do not need this mask to enable you to do your job well. You know this. Think of all the many, many times in your training and previous jobs when you know you performed well and didn't have a mask on.

This is an obsessive thought pattern and you need to break it.

You may want to think about what is really bothering you and set you off.
What is it about facing parents and colleagues that you're scared of? Have you had to deliver bad news that affected you personally ?

Do you work in theatres/ ICU/SCBU where the pressure is always on anyway and it all suddenly feels very overwhelming ?

Your future is not tarnished by this, unless you choose it to be. You do not need to give up your advanced course for next year yet unless you want to. You may be well enough to do it. But do you really want to ? You could defer it.

Please forgive my directness but it sounds to me like you are burnt out emotionally at present with this particular role at work and it has manifested itself in this panic attack. That's ok, it happens often.

I've seen it several times . I'm an RN too and did many years in ICU/ A+E and saw this happen more than a few times..

You can get better quickly.
As Nic said a few months of a medication such as an SSRI may just help you over this difficulty. It will not resolve the underlying issues but will give you a break so you can function whilst you think about what you want to do. I would not recommend a tranquilizer because you need to have all your wits about you in your job. Patient safety is paramount.

Could you meet with your manager and discuss the situation with them so perhaps she can rearrange things to allow you to settle back in without having to face your fears on the first few days and then build up gradually like being supernumuary for a shift. Occupational health will do their best with liaising with your deptartment to help you settle back in too.

Relaxation and breathing are so important as Nic says so perservere with those. Also take some exercise when you feel palpitations coming on. Eat and sleep well and allow yourself to heal. Also take a good daily Vit B complex and a calcium/magnesium at bedtime.

Sorry if I've been quite direct but do give it some thought . You're certainly not the first nurse to have this and you won't be the last either and total recovery is very achievable.

Good luck :)

Meg.

Juliet
11-09-03, 21:50
Paradise,
This was like reading about myself.Take each day one at a time and dont be so hard on yourself.I am on the mend ish now,but it is slow.you will get there.Make sure that the people you work with know about your problem.You will find that this will take away half the worry.They may be able to help you by taking some of the pressure away from you for a while.Good luck.

nomorepanic
07-10-03, 21:00
I have moved this thread to the PANIC section

Nicola

paradise
25-03-04, 17:46
Hi Radar,
I was asked to leave the job as I was performing badly, well, i have been trying hard, but i still can't get rid of my anxiety and phobia.
I am on ssri and anti anxiety, but doesn't seem to work. been taking vitamins that u said , still didn't help.
Been borrowing books from library,the more i read, the more fear i have.
My future is so bleak.
[V]

Meg
25-03-04, 18:15
Dear Paradise,


'This is an obsessive thought pattern and you need to break it' This was the case and over time has manifested itself in more aspects of your life.

As you read more it alerts you to extra things to be fearful of. When reading and learnings its best to stand back a bit and try to be objective and not relate every bit of information to your personal circumstance at that time .

I read an article when I was acute on how 'many' anxiety people had WPW and it freaked me out. Actually it's extremely rare and treatable, but the article I read made out that it was very common.
So a rational reaction if it had been true, irrational reaction once I knew the truth.
Do you see how this happens and grows within you ?

Didn't your fears come at the Sars outbreak and you were wearing masks and then as it finished , you were supposed to stop wearing them.
Your thoughts on this were distorted and you developed fears out of proportion to the potential danger.

You may well get benefit from some CBT therapy to re train you to think rationally. It's not all just about positive thinking but about proportional thinking too.

The supplements will not cure you but will support your system to heal.

Your future is not bleak - you are very young and can get over this and get back to being a confident and competent nurse.




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

stimpy
26-03-04, 11:54
Oh Paradise I'm sorry things are hard for you at the moment.

Our friend Mr Panic has no shame and no mercy.
I often used to think "Why me?" "What have I done to deserve something so terrible?"

Positive thinking and relaxation doesn't happen overnight. It is something you have to practice constantly even when you are not having a mad panic.
Strike while the iron is hot, get treatment as soon as possible, as the longer you leave it, the worse it will get. Because of your job you need to kick Mr Panic into touch.

Medication will help you, but that too takes time. Coping skills are the best way to help you until your medication kicks in.

You are a nurse, so you are clever and competent. That is what you need to hold on to - that is going to get you through this.
The more you avoid things like talking to parents, the harder it will become.
Hang in there, things will get better. You just need time to accept panic disorder as part of your life, not a punishment and learn how to cope with things if they get too much.






Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

paradise
27-03-04, 18:30
Thanks everybody who have replied to my messages.
Overcoming panic, anxiety and depression indeed is tough and not a overnight thing. after 6 months, I am still trying hard, i won't give up! You all can read my story in this web http://groups.msn.com/AnxietyDepressionandPanic-Mystory/_whatsnew.msnw
Though can sound quite sad but I look forward to paradise a place where God promises in the Bible, where no one have to be tormented by physical or emotional illness, but now we have to seek therapies, solutions to treat ourselves.
Thanks so much, i jus felt so sad this week but I hope I will make it oneday.

diana
27-03-04, 19:58
Paradise,

I do hope you are feeling a bit better today.

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time right now.

I think you are under alot of pressure. Beings you say you are the sole breadmaker in your home.

That in itself is quite a load to carry, especially when you have family you are responsible for.

I am sorry to that you have been asked to leave you place of employment. Which obviously is not going to help your situation.

I believe on the other hand that "EVERYTHING" happens for a reason. Even if we don`t know the reason for it at the time it occurs.

I hope things will start to sort themselves out for you soon.

I do agree with the others who posted suggestions for taking an anti-depressant or other RX med. To get you through the toughest times.

I see you say you are taking something, but that it is not helping you. I`m not sure how long you have been taking something, but like everything else it`s effects will take time.

If in fact you have been on a med. for awhile and it still is not working for you, then maybe you should consider asking your doc for something else that may.

I know everything "RIGHT NOW" seems "bleak" and "tarnished" as you say, but try with all of your might not to allow this "PANIC" to take over your life.

We all have set backs, and wonder like Liz said "WHY ME?", "WHAT HAVE I DONE?" etc. etc. etc. when and well after our attacks began.

So try to take solice in knowing that you are not alone, and we are all here to help and see you through this time.

Don`t give up sweetie, never give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please keep us posted as to how you are getting along.

Take care,

Diana xxxx