Existential Questioning

[EnglishChris]

Hi there, I posted in the welcome forum about my experiences with anxiety but I will do a brief recap here.

I am 29, male and living in manchester.I came down with anxiety after isolating myself from social events, meeting new people and forming a relationship from my need to control situations and if I cannot I would avoid them usually, this meant I became very lonely and spent most of my time in front the tele or computer and being completely antisocial.

I had a couple of panic attacks and episodes of strong dp/dr which I did not understand and so was scared to death of going to sleep and waking up with it. After 6 months of this I became chronically depersonalised and derealised, more so derealised. I am now coming through this and not feeling heavy dp or dr and will only feel disconnected from reality if I concentraste on it (check in). A horrible side effect of this symptom of anxiety is that I find myself questioning reality very easily which obviously in my anxious state causes me a lot of distress.

Has anyone got some advise how to deal with the questioning that has come about due to my dp/dr.

Thanks
Chris

[PanchoGoz]

I have this right now and have had it for about a year. Almost exactly what you describe! I have existential anxiety. Fortunately I have learnt a lot from an online CBT therapist and I am finding it easier to deal with now and nearly starting to see that this is just a thought like all others. This fear is significantly weakened for me now, it's not permanent anymore it's just stabs of intense awareness of the whole of reality :)
It's a difficult subject because you feel like this issue transcends all others don't you, as it covers the whole idea of existance rather than just heart or cancer like other anxiety sufferes?
What kind of thoughts are you having? Are you doubting you are real entirely because of the dp feeling or are you obsessively questioning things like "how did the universe start" or "why do I exist" or "everything is so vast and huge"? I would like to reassure you that you will eventually forget about these thoughts, even if they seem unbreably frightening now. If you really emerse yourself in something enjoyable, you will see that you are not questioning. When you are no longer afraid of the thoughts, that's when they go of their own accord, your mind grows bored of them.
Maybe addressing your social issues will help too, just talking to someone can really ground you, I've found.
I could go on for ages on this subject, lots of experience and advice now, feel free to PM me or talk to me here.
Hope this reassures you a bit :)

[EnglishChris]

Thanks for replying PanchoGoz, in a horrible way it is very relieving to hear from someone going through this as well.

Generally the questions are lessening, well my reaction to them.

I get ones like
"how can they be my feet"
"how am I able to walk?"
"Is this really me doing this action?"
"is that object truely there?"

Along those lines, so some come from the sensation of DP and others from the sensation of DR.
I still do a bit of checking as well along the lines of "did that action feel real?"

Glad to hear you are able to give the thoughts and questions less respect, I know this is the key and they will fade in time.

[PanchoGoz]

You are very welcome, as long as you lose that fear they will go :)
If they start getting worse again, try to exaggerate them everyday for a while (try to make them come and they won't. If you actually try to think about it for a long time your mind gets bored) it's you fear and anxious beliefs about the thoughts that keeps them there.
I can see you are not giving the thoughts the importance that you were previously which is great. Just writing down what you feel helps doesn't it :)

[xvolatileheart]

I've experienced this feeling and all of the questions you asked. In particular, I get fixated on "am I actually breathing? Is my heart actually beating?" and I get really scared by it, like maybe I've died but I don't know it.

When I have moments of clarity (i.e. not in DP/DR state) I think about how normal I feel, so it feels less scary when I go into one of those states. Dunno if that will help you, but I've noticed the episodes lessen when I stop fearing them.