PDA

View Full Version : Anniversary of my mums death tonight :(



lindajane1971
24-04-12, 19:30
Ive been dreading this day for the last 364 days, but i cannot avoid it any longer, oh how i hate the month of April!!

It was 4 years ago tonight that my mum died. Well her date of death is actually the 25th but it was just after midnight and it was the hours before that was so full of chaos and panic that i always associate the last few hours of the 24th the most with her death.

It certainly does not feel like its been 4 years, i still cannot come to terms with her death and i dont think i ever will. She was 54, strong as an ox and the light of the family, she didnt drink much, was healthy but did smoke.
I had spent a couple of hours with her that day and when i left she was just away to make her supper and nothing was amiss.
At 10.30pm i got a frantic call from my Aunt to say mum was really ill and was going to the hospital in an ambulance. I drove over the other side of town in my nightie to find out what was going on to see that she had already left for the hospital. I got a lift to the hospital, still in my nightie, and when we got there was put into a side room to wait. A half hour later and a doctor and support worker came in and said there was nothing they could do, she was gone. Heart Attack.

I still cannot believe that 4 years on i still am expecting her to just come waltzing through the door like she's been away on holiday or away with work!!!
OMG i miss her so much, she had the most infecious laugh, and she would just make everyone laugh so much with her silly quotes and ideas that were just so daft and silly. She always had time for everyone, especially Gran who she would look after, take to the bingo and out for runs in the car all over the countryside. Gran misses her so very much too.
Our world is such a quiet place without her.

My heart just aches with sadness today

RIP Mum, love you x

countrygirl
24-04-12, 19:48
Huge:grouphug:. A close friend of mine died 10 years ago - she was like a mother to me and for at least 5 yrs after her death I would walk past her house every day and the longing and pain of wanting to go in an see her was overwhelming.

4 years is not long - you are still grieving. She looked a lovely fun lady in your photo and I bet she is siting on her:cloud9:looking down on you and sending lots of love to you and your gran.

swgrl09
24-04-12, 19:54
Wow, I really feel for you and can relate. I lost my mom January 13, 2011. She too was young- 49 - appeared strong and healthy as well, rock of our family, she smoked but nothing was wrong with her lungs. She was diagnosed with cancer during the holidays and then passed away soon after. It was crazy.

I know how badly I felt when that anniversary date came around, so I really feel for you and am sending hugs. Although if you are anything like me, I got sick of hugs and just wanted to be alone.

Just feel what you need to feel during this time. If you try to push the feelings away, they'll only come back stronger another day. Hang in there xx

LAURA48
24-04-12, 20:34
Hi LindaJane - so sorry to hear about your mum - you loved her like I love mine - she sounded a lovely lady - and to die suddenly such a shock for you.

Will light a little t light for you tonight

Hugs to you Laura xxxx

lindajane1971
24-04-12, 20:51
aww thanks for the messages guys :)
thanks for saying she looked fun countrygirl, she really was such a happy go lucky person!! That pic was my wedding day, just 7 months before she died. The pictures i have of that day are really the only pictures i have of the two of us (very long story) and that picture means a lot to me. :)

swgrl im so sorry to hear about your mom, oh my 49 is so very young!!! I was so in shock from mums death but no good at talking about anything and kept it all in, i did all the funeral arrangements and was on autopilot for months, it was me who was giving out the hugs, not receiving them. And now i dont think i want any as i will probably crumble and be of no use to anyone again!!! Was thinking of asking for some councilling to help me cope a bit better.

xx

---------- Post added at 20:51 ---------- Previous post was at 20:50 ----------


Hi LindaJane - so sorry to hear about your mum - you loved her like I love mine - she sounded a lovely lady - and to die suddenly such a shock for you.

Will light a little t light for you tonight

Hugs to you Laura xxxx



aww thanks Laura, that would be lovely xxx

anx mum
24-04-12, 20:52
Hi lindajane big:hugs:to u. Reading your story bought a tear to my eye life is so cruel sometimes your mum looked a lovely person. I lost my mum 7 years ago again sudden and i think of her everyday she was the most caring women in the world losing her was losing my mum and best friend so i can totelly understand how u feel. I think on the anniversary of her death its even gonna be harder she will always be in your heart hun.