jimwiths
27-04-12, 17:39
Hi,
This is my first post so I am sorry if its long winded.
I had a breakdown 9 months ago, before which I would have described myself as a chilled out and relaxed person with a high threshold to stress.
I was going through a particularly tough time with my father being seriously ill, not to mention stress at work and burning the candle at both ends with little sleep. I lost both my mother (during childhood) and stepmother during my early 20s and so I suspect my Dads illness was possibly the thing that took me over my stress limit. Anyway I initially developed globus hystericus throat symptoms and one night I obsessed about it until I had my first full blown panic attack. It was downhill from there and before I knew it I was panicking daily, couldn't think properly, couldn't go to work, couldn't even drive my car. I had no idea what was happening to me which only made matters worst because my imagination went into over-drive.
I was finally diagnosed with panic disorder, put on 20mg of cipralex. Over the course of about 3-5 months I started feeling better although not 100% myself. I started to get my life back however and a couple of months ago returned to work.
Anyway to get to the point about 3 weeks ago I had a major relapse out of the blue. I was chilling around my girlfriends house when the panic just seemed to hit me again for no reason. Although this experience was horrible I found a bit of strength and courage which I did not have the first time around and after a couple of days of feeling grim and highly anxious I returned to work. As the days went by I felt rather pleased with myself as the anxiety started to subside and thought by dealing with this setback the right way I have really made progress this time. During the last week however it seems I have developed a strange hyper awareness. For some reason i started focussing on my eyes and before I knew it I was sort of locked in where I could not concentrate on anything else. This reminded me of my globus throat however the difference is I had a real and unusual sensation in my throat whereas my eyes are totally ok. For the last week this hyper focus has not gone away and its started to really make me feel miserable. I have done some research and discovered that my symptoms are part of a condition known as sensori motor ocd. This has surprised me because I have never had obsessive/compulsions before. It has also depressed me because I feel like I now have another disorder to conquer on top of my panic disorder. Does anyone have any thoughts on whether I really have ocd or is this likely to be another manifestation of my panic symptoms? If I do a standard ocd test online I score zero and dont match any of there other criteria. Another question I have is can stress lead to hyper awareness? Perhaps I developed this initially which is why I panicked about the globus sensations because I could not get relief from my focus on them. I want to get on top of this problem as quick as possible because it feels like it has stopped my progress in its tracks. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Many Thanks
Jim
This is my first post so I am sorry if its long winded.
I had a breakdown 9 months ago, before which I would have described myself as a chilled out and relaxed person with a high threshold to stress.
I was going through a particularly tough time with my father being seriously ill, not to mention stress at work and burning the candle at both ends with little sleep. I lost both my mother (during childhood) and stepmother during my early 20s and so I suspect my Dads illness was possibly the thing that took me over my stress limit. Anyway I initially developed globus hystericus throat symptoms and one night I obsessed about it until I had my first full blown panic attack. It was downhill from there and before I knew it I was panicking daily, couldn't think properly, couldn't go to work, couldn't even drive my car. I had no idea what was happening to me which only made matters worst because my imagination went into over-drive.
I was finally diagnosed with panic disorder, put on 20mg of cipralex. Over the course of about 3-5 months I started feeling better although not 100% myself. I started to get my life back however and a couple of months ago returned to work.
Anyway to get to the point about 3 weeks ago I had a major relapse out of the blue. I was chilling around my girlfriends house when the panic just seemed to hit me again for no reason. Although this experience was horrible I found a bit of strength and courage which I did not have the first time around and after a couple of days of feeling grim and highly anxious I returned to work. As the days went by I felt rather pleased with myself as the anxiety started to subside and thought by dealing with this setback the right way I have really made progress this time. During the last week however it seems I have developed a strange hyper awareness. For some reason i started focussing on my eyes and before I knew it I was sort of locked in where I could not concentrate on anything else. This reminded me of my globus throat however the difference is I had a real and unusual sensation in my throat whereas my eyes are totally ok. For the last week this hyper focus has not gone away and its started to really make me feel miserable. I have done some research and discovered that my symptoms are part of a condition known as sensori motor ocd. This has surprised me because I have never had obsessive/compulsions before. It has also depressed me because I feel like I now have another disorder to conquer on top of my panic disorder. Does anyone have any thoughts on whether I really have ocd or is this likely to be another manifestation of my panic symptoms? If I do a standard ocd test online I score zero and dont match any of there other criteria. Another question I have is can stress lead to hyper awareness? Perhaps I developed this initially which is why I panicked about the globus sensations because I could not get relief from my focus on them. I want to get on top of this problem as quick as possible because it feels like it has stopped my progress in its tracks. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Many Thanks
Jim