Daniaw87
27-04-12, 19:31
Well, it took me a while to finally realize that I'm not crazy, and I think looking at this site has helped me tremendously.
I've always been kind of an anxious person, and have had random anxiety attacks, but mid January, it all kind of hit me out of the blue when I had a horrible panic attack while shopping at Ikea. Thinking it was just a bad "random" anxiety attack, I let it roll off my back. But over the next few days, I just didn't feel right. Insomnia kicked in, my heart was constantly pounding, I felt like I was dying! I knew it was anxiety, but I couldn't pin-point a cause so I thought I was insane. The next Monday, I had to return to my serving job after having a few days off. A few hours before, I told me boyfriend I wasn't feeling well, but it was so hard to explain to him, and I was so scared that he would think I was crazy. But as soon as he dropped me off for work, I felt a major numbing sensation from the top of my head to my fingers, and my fingers locked, and I couldn't move them. My heart was pounding so hard as I walked through the door to work, and I remember feeling like I was floating in.
The second I walked in, my managers saw me, and I told them I think I was having a panic attack, and I wasn't alright to work. They didn't really understand, and told me I needed a doctor's note to come back. I went home, still feeling the numb sensation, but as I got inside, it started to go away, and I immediately felt exhausted.
This went on for several days, and I kept having to call into work, because I thought "why should I go to the doctor for anxiety." But it was different than I had ever felt before. I CONSTANTLY felt scared, and panicked, and felt like the walls were caving in. Doing anything but watching comedic shows/movies would spark my panic, so for two weeks, I was confined to the couch. I had no appetite, and lost 12 pounds in one week. I was so scared of my boyfriend thinking I was crazy, and I kept thinking myself "OH MY GAHD, I am bat-sh** crazy!"
Finally, I talked to a friend, who I knew suffered from anxiety, and she immediately referred me to a doctor. The doctor was very nice, and patient with me. She ordered a blood panel to check my thyroid (which I still can't afford to get done), gave me a 3 week trial samples of Cymbalta, and a non-refillable prescription of generic Xanax (0.25 mg dosage). I was so scared to get addicted, I still have the same script, but I only take half of one if I'm feeling anxious, sometimes a whole one if it's really bad, or I can't sleep. I hated the way the anti-depressant made me feel, so I've been looking into a lot of natural remedies, which is actually what led me to this site.
I was finally able to pull myself out of the 2 week funk, but I haven't felt 100% back to "normal" since, and that was mid-January. My boyfriend has been a saving grace, being totally accepting, and amazing. A lot of my friends, my bosses, my family, still don't understand, and it's such a hard feeling to explain.
Anyway, sorry for being long-winded, but it feels so good to write my story.
I've always been kind of an anxious person, and have had random anxiety attacks, but mid January, it all kind of hit me out of the blue when I had a horrible panic attack while shopping at Ikea. Thinking it was just a bad "random" anxiety attack, I let it roll off my back. But over the next few days, I just didn't feel right. Insomnia kicked in, my heart was constantly pounding, I felt like I was dying! I knew it was anxiety, but I couldn't pin-point a cause so I thought I was insane. The next Monday, I had to return to my serving job after having a few days off. A few hours before, I told me boyfriend I wasn't feeling well, but it was so hard to explain to him, and I was so scared that he would think I was crazy. But as soon as he dropped me off for work, I felt a major numbing sensation from the top of my head to my fingers, and my fingers locked, and I couldn't move them. My heart was pounding so hard as I walked through the door to work, and I remember feeling like I was floating in.
The second I walked in, my managers saw me, and I told them I think I was having a panic attack, and I wasn't alright to work. They didn't really understand, and told me I needed a doctor's note to come back. I went home, still feeling the numb sensation, but as I got inside, it started to go away, and I immediately felt exhausted.
This went on for several days, and I kept having to call into work, because I thought "why should I go to the doctor for anxiety." But it was different than I had ever felt before. I CONSTANTLY felt scared, and panicked, and felt like the walls were caving in. Doing anything but watching comedic shows/movies would spark my panic, so for two weeks, I was confined to the couch. I had no appetite, and lost 12 pounds in one week. I was so scared of my boyfriend thinking I was crazy, and I kept thinking myself "OH MY GAHD, I am bat-sh** crazy!"
Finally, I talked to a friend, who I knew suffered from anxiety, and she immediately referred me to a doctor. The doctor was very nice, and patient with me. She ordered a blood panel to check my thyroid (which I still can't afford to get done), gave me a 3 week trial samples of Cymbalta, and a non-refillable prescription of generic Xanax (0.25 mg dosage). I was so scared to get addicted, I still have the same script, but I only take half of one if I'm feeling anxious, sometimes a whole one if it's really bad, or I can't sleep. I hated the way the anti-depressant made me feel, so I've been looking into a lot of natural remedies, which is actually what led me to this site.
I was finally able to pull myself out of the 2 week funk, but I haven't felt 100% back to "normal" since, and that was mid-January. My boyfriend has been a saving grace, being totally accepting, and amazing. A lot of my friends, my bosses, my family, still don't understand, and it's such a hard feeling to explain.
Anyway, sorry for being long-winded, but it feels so good to write my story.