Here i go again!!!

[zippy]

I have been doing ok the last 4 months until a couple of weeks ago when i hard a sore spot on my belly and a lump. I of course freaked out and went to the docs and he said it was an abscess and gave me antibiotics and told me to come back in 2 weeks if it hadn't gone. I didn't believe it was just an abscess and started thinking it was some form of cancer. I started getting butterflies in my stomach and i couldn't sleep and started googling again. I kept battling with thoughts in my head that i was dying but then thought if i was i would feel more ill than i did. Anyways i couldn't wait the 2 weeks and i went and seen another doc and she had a good feel and said it didnt feel like anything sisnister and said finish my tabs. I keep trying to convince myself it is an abscess but it isnt going after 10 days on antibiotics. It does seem to have gone softer and slightly smaller but it's still quite big. I am waking up early in the morning and its the first thing on my mind and now i have other symptoms, my bones/joints are aching, headaches, backache, crying, nothing feels real like dream like and off balance feeling. So now i am convinced that i am dying with this lump and all the symptoms are linked to it. My partner and my best friend think i am so silly to think this but i can't help it, i cant believe i am in this situation again.
I keep thinking if the lump was something nasty it wouldnt change and go soft and slightly smaller would it??? Just looking for some advice/reassurance before i make myself really ill like i have in the past.
Sorry for the long post x

[honeyb]

I feel for you i really do! I'm sure it is an abcess and nothing more. I've HA and think the worst in everything. I often get a swimming sensation in my head or off balance feeling. Last night i got up to go to the loo and felt as though i'd been drinking of course that panicked me. I'm sure you will be just fine. If that lump was something to worry about it wouldn't be soft which does indicate that it's liquid filled. Hope this helps.

[Elen]

Zippy to be brutally frank you need to get some therapy to address your health anxiety.

If the lump is getting smaller then the antibiotics are doing their job.

As for the rest of your symptoms they could well be down to anxiety caused by your your worries over this lump.

Good luck

Elen

[zippy]

Thanks for the replies, i have been for counselling in the past but usually by the time i get my appointment i am ok again and i think i don't need to go because i will never let myself get into that state again. And obviously i do :blush:. I just wish i could think rationally like normal people and not think everytime i get something that i am dying from cancer. I never think i have anything else it's always cancer.

---------- Post added at 12:56 ---------- Previous post was at 09:12 ----------

I can't stop checking the lump and feeling it and i come over in a cold sweat everytime i do. I have been trying to keep busy but it's on my mind all the time. I know it's not going to go and i am going to have to go back and probably get it scanned and then i will be beside myself. I keep thinking and trying reassure myself that i have never known anyone to have had a lump on there belly under their skin and its been cancer and fatal. It's driving me mad i just wish the stupid lump would go away.

[honeyb]

Zippy, the problem is if you keep checking and prodding the lump you are going to make it hurt. Then you will worry about it hurting.

[zippy]

I know your right Honeyb but it's hard not to keep having a feel. I have another 6 days of antibiotics to take so i hope it goes or shrinks dramatically.

[honeyb]

I'm sure it will, it takes a day of so for the antibiotics to work.

[zippy]

He gave me 2 weeks of antibiotics so i am into my 2nd week.