Anxiety about *quitting* a job?

[.Poppy.]

I've posted here before with stresses that I have about my job. I've stuck it out for about 6 months now - some days have been not-so-bad, but some have been downright terrible. I've made one friend (just one) and I'm just tired. I keep telling myself that I am going to quit, but I keep putting it off.

I wanted to get out before they started to give me more responsibility - I don't want it and am not ready for it. However, they've started. My stress level right now is through the roof. I'm a trustworty employee - they know this- and they take advantage of me because of it. There's no real kindness with this responsibility, I am just expected to do it.

I'm a VERY stubborn person and am definitely the type to just thumb my nose and them and never return. I really, really want to. But I also don't want to leave them high and dry and I don't want any awkwardness or for them to hate me and this stresses me out to the point that I'm going to have to just pick a time to do it and make up some sob story as to why I'm leaving. I care far too much what others think.

I already know I can't work next semester as I will be a junior in college and getting into more serious - and difficult - courses I need to focus on. I wanted to quit mid-summer, but again, I know some people are leaving at that time and I don't want them to hate me.

This IS my first job working for someone other than family, and as you can see, I'm struggling. I'd love some advice. I keep telling myself I am strong and capable but it gets old after awhile, like I am just lying to myself.

Thanks.

[Ingenious]

Looking just at the quitting part, it's actually very common to feel bad about quitting, especially if you think you'll be letting them down. There's nothing wrong with that, in fact it's a credit that you do care. A lot of employees don't!

However the truth is often quite different - few people are indispensable and companies can quickly find a replacement. Being blunt, in a commercial sense there isn't that much scope to let a company down, since people come and go in jobs all the time, that's how it works. So what you need to do is show yourself some compassion and put your needs first - your employee isn't really looking after you if they're putting all this extra worry on you.

As for worrying what others think, if you could go forward in time you'll probably find in a few months you have been replaced and forgotten. Any true friends made in the job will be more than happy to stay in touch.

Anyway good luck, it's a big step and obviously very worrying for anyone in that position, but I see your worrying as a sign of someone conscientious and an asset to any future employer.