Someone to talk to....

[hella]

Hi fellow forumers :blush: (is forumers even a word?!)

Part of me is really wanting to write everything that is ticking over in my mind right now and the other half is holding back, as I'm not sure if anyone will actually read this :unsure:. Don't get me wrong I'm not insinuating that people don't care for others on this site, no, not at all - what I'm trying to say is i don't want sound like 'woe is me' because i can guarantee each one of you is or has been in the same boat as me at some stage in your life.

It's just, i don't have anyone to talk to - how sad is that?! haha I'm 30 soon and I've suffered with anxiety attacks and bouts of agoraphobia since i was about 21/22, i don't know why my panic attacks started - nothing stressful going was on in my life - i was in uni studying PA and loving it :D then my life just got flipped on its side and now I'm practically a shadow of who i use to be. I have no mates - i starting avoiding them because of the attacks, i have no job (my partner supports me) not for the lack of trying but because of the massive gap in employment (when my agoraphobia was horrendous) I'm not exactly reliable to an employer.

People reading this are probably thinking 'why doesn't she talk to her partner' I have done and do, but i know he doesn't understand what i go through everyday even though he offers words of comfort. It would be nice to talk to someone whose been in the same boat and can relate to what I'm talking about as opposed to just offering kind words - I understand that i sound selfish, but I'm really not.

Anyhoo think I've babbled on enough ha!

Thanks for reading this and if someone wants to chat, that would be great :D

Hella x

[nomorepanic]

Hi hella

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Pinkcasi]

Hey there and welcome, i do know exactly what you mean and how you feel, I feel like i have no one to talk to too, i cant talk to my family as they really dont get it, my sister just says, 'well just be normal' like im doing this deliberatly and my mum just worries, my friends *sigh* well i've already lost 2 friends because they couldn't cope with it, my partner keeps saying 'you can talk to me' and i do but if I were to talk to him all the time about every tiny little thing then he too would get annoyed with me, he already sighs when i suggest again that i might be ill with some bizarre ailment or other, and when im having a bad day and i just want to curl up and die, he doesn't really understand, he keeps telling me he's worried about me and i dont want that so i have to keep it to myself, i told him the other day that the reason that i cut my arm the other day was because it was that or my wrists and i really wanted to like more than you can imagine, how can i expect him to understand, how can anyone that loves you understand that.

Anyway enough about me, hello welcome and all that jazz :welcome:

[Pipkin]

Hi Hella and a warm :welcome:

I'm sure you'll find loads of members here who share your experience and that you'll find it comforting to see that you're not alone.

Partners don't always understand, no matter how hard they try as I guess it's not an easy thing to get your head round if you haven't experienced it first hand. It's not exactly logical sometimes, is it? Don't stop confiding in him though. Some people find it useful for partners to read info on here. Worth a try?

Take care and keep posting

Pip xx

[Kelseywelseyyy]

Hello! I see you're from Liverpool, me too!

You're here for all the same reasons, wanting to speak to people who know what you're going through. Sometimes its hard to talk to family or friends, they don't understand and probably never will until they experience it themself. Also, I don't really want to worry them. But here everyone is in the same boat. It makes me feel better to help people and give them advice or reassurance if I've been through what they have too :-D

You will fit right in here!

[sadiesnow]

I totaly agree with you my ex left me because of it, but now im happily married, with understanding husband.

[Jamesk]

People reading this are probably thinking 'why doesn't she talk to her partner' I have done and do, but i know he doesn't understand what i go through everyday even though he offers words of comfort.

Hella, I don;t think anyone would say this. I think most people on here know exactly how hard it is to talk about this to someone who hasn't experienced it - they are just unable to comprehend what it feels like.

I know exactly how you feel - when I woke at 4.00am this morning I was lying there thinking how isolated I feel at the moment. My best friend died unexpectedly at 41 3 years ago, my son has moved away to work, and I realised I just never "talk" to anyone anymore. I hve noticed I feel more relaxed and content after a lot of recent chiroprator's appointments and I think this is because this is the only person I am really talking to at the moment (poor woman!)

[hella]

thank you everyone for the lovely replies :D really made me smile and not feel so isolated in how im feeling.

And kelseywelseyyy i'am from liverpool, yes :yesyes:

Jamesk you're right about unless someone has experience panic attacks its very hard for them to understand how it feels. Although i would never wish this on anyone.