lass
06-07-06, 12:40
Sorry, this will no doubt be a long post as I'm not very good at putting things concisely. Also I am very sad and low at the moment so please don't be dragged down by my sad thoughts ....
For virtually the whole of this year, I have been suffering with a mild on/off abdominal "pain" (not an intense pain, just in a specific place, lasts maybe a minute, comes and goes, nothing I'd need painkillers for or anything), plus a change in bowel habit (alternative constipation/diarrohea). I also have recently had pains on/off up my backside, but I haven't told my GP this yet as haven't seen her since having them.
This has got me really freaked out and in my head is bowel cancer. My father has a history of colitis and bowel polyps (they remove the polyps as can turn cancerous) and I have been told polyps can be hereditary.
So my mind has been working overtime and I am convinced there is something wrong. My GP thinks it is IBS and has been really patient with me - she ran loads of blood tests in April which all came back normal (full blood count, ESR, liver/kidney function, tumour markers, thyroid).
As I was still very worried she referred me for sigmoidoscopy - saying she feels sure it is IBS but I knows I won't relax until I am investigated. I saw the consultant, who says it also sounds like IBS, but will do a sigmoidoscopy to rule out anything else due to my father's history. I am now waiting for this, haven't got an appointment yet.
I am going through a particular bad time at the moment. I am now really worrying that (a) it isn't IBS as I don't have the bad cramping pains etc (b) that a sigmoidoscopy can only see the first part of the bowel and that I may have something going on further up that they won't be able to see, and if they don't find anything on this test that I will be sent away with "IBS" and I know I won't be reassured as there are still bits of me that haven't been checked out, and (c) that I have hidden blood in my stools (I haven't been offered a stool test / FOB test so far). I was offered a colonoscopy if I paid privately (£1500 ish) which would look at the whole bowel and be more thorough, but this is an awful lot of money to find and so I accepted the sigmoidoscopy which was free.
My GP did give me sertraline to try, but I felt so much worse on it that she told me to stop, that I was either having a bad reaction or just wasn't right for me.
I have been perservering with herbal remedies - to start with I tried "Quiet Days", then St Johns Wort and now Relora, Vitamin B complex and magnesium. In some ways I am calmer - but not when it comes to worrying about my "condition".
I have good days where I am almost back to my old self, but also days where I feel very low. I have lots of sadness in my life at the moment which is shadowing the good things. My friend is dying - she has pancreatic and liver cancer which was picked up too late to be able to treat. I am so sad for her, her children are the same age of mine, and I am just thinking about how I'd feel to know I was dying, I can't get it out of my mind.
I think I am so anxious to get myself completely checked out as my friend had very minor symptoms that she tolerated for a couple of years beford getting investigated, then it took a good 6 months to get a diagnosis and it was all too late for her really. And I worked with a guy who had "IBS" for years before they discovered it was bowel cancer, by which time it had spread and was untreatable. So I am really really scared I will be told I have IBS and find out in months or years to come that it isn't.
I want to go back to my GP and get some reassurance from her, but I don't want her to get fed up with me wasting her time. I also think now I have been referred that she may think I should wait til I next see my consultant - but I haven't even got an appointment date yet so this could be ages away.
I think I need to be getting some kind of help, medication or therapy or something, but I'm not sure what and I'm really scared of trying any other antidepressants due
For virtually the whole of this year, I have been suffering with a mild on/off abdominal "pain" (not an intense pain, just in a specific place, lasts maybe a minute, comes and goes, nothing I'd need painkillers for or anything), plus a change in bowel habit (alternative constipation/diarrohea). I also have recently had pains on/off up my backside, but I haven't told my GP this yet as haven't seen her since having them.
This has got me really freaked out and in my head is bowel cancer. My father has a history of colitis and bowel polyps (they remove the polyps as can turn cancerous) and I have been told polyps can be hereditary.
So my mind has been working overtime and I am convinced there is something wrong. My GP thinks it is IBS and has been really patient with me - she ran loads of blood tests in April which all came back normal (full blood count, ESR, liver/kidney function, tumour markers, thyroid).
As I was still very worried she referred me for sigmoidoscopy - saying she feels sure it is IBS but I knows I won't relax until I am investigated. I saw the consultant, who says it also sounds like IBS, but will do a sigmoidoscopy to rule out anything else due to my father's history. I am now waiting for this, haven't got an appointment yet.
I am going through a particular bad time at the moment. I am now really worrying that (a) it isn't IBS as I don't have the bad cramping pains etc (b) that a sigmoidoscopy can only see the first part of the bowel and that I may have something going on further up that they won't be able to see, and if they don't find anything on this test that I will be sent away with "IBS" and I know I won't be reassured as there are still bits of me that haven't been checked out, and (c) that I have hidden blood in my stools (I haven't been offered a stool test / FOB test so far). I was offered a colonoscopy if I paid privately (£1500 ish) which would look at the whole bowel and be more thorough, but this is an awful lot of money to find and so I accepted the sigmoidoscopy which was free.
My GP did give me sertraline to try, but I felt so much worse on it that she told me to stop, that I was either having a bad reaction or just wasn't right for me.
I have been perservering with herbal remedies - to start with I tried "Quiet Days", then St Johns Wort and now Relora, Vitamin B complex and magnesium. In some ways I am calmer - but not when it comes to worrying about my "condition".
I have good days where I am almost back to my old self, but also days where I feel very low. I have lots of sadness in my life at the moment which is shadowing the good things. My friend is dying - she has pancreatic and liver cancer which was picked up too late to be able to treat. I am so sad for her, her children are the same age of mine, and I am just thinking about how I'd feel to know I was dying, I can't get it out of my mind.
I think I am so anxious to get myself completely checked out as my friend had very minor symptoms that she tolerated for a couple of years beford getting investigated, then it took a good 6 months to get a diagnosis and it was all too late for her really. And I worked with a guy who had "IBS" for years before they discovered it was bowel cancer, by which time it had spread and was untreatable. So I am really really scared I will be told I have IBS and find out in months or years to come that it isn't.
I want to go back to my GP and get some reassurance from her, but I don't want her to get fed up with me wasting her time. I also think now I have been referred that she may think I should wait til I next see my consultant - but I haven't even got an appointment date yet so this could be ages away.
I think I need to be getting some kind of help, medication or therapy or something, but I'm not sure what and I'm really scared of trying any other antidepressants due