In a mess AGAIN!!!

[zippy]

I keep feeling off balance and having head swings and i feel like i can't cope. I feel very irritable and i am snapping at my children over nothing. I feel like my head is going to explode and all because of this bloody lump on my stomach. I am going to a wedding all day and night on friday and i am making myself ill. Why cant i forget about this bloody lump, its constantly on my mind. It consumes my every waking thought.

[Kelseywelseyyy]

I know its hard, but when I concentrate on whatever symptom im experiencing, it makes it worse. Its all you think about. But try and take your mind of it, atleast just for a little while. Read or do some exercise or get a nice bath. You're not alone in this, its all mental and we need to not let it control our life, we need to be in control. Getting in fighting mode!

[nicola1980]

Sorry your feeling so bad hun sending :hugs: my son has a lump just above his belly button and doc says its just a harmless cyst under his skin x x

[zippy]

Thanks. The doc says mine is an abscess but i have had it for 3 weeks and it is still there so now i am thinking its something serious because it has no head and isnt painful. I am my own worst enemy worrying about things and then i make myself so ill and then i think its associated with lump. I can feel my stomach constantly tense and i cant relax. I keep checking the lump and then i break out in a cold sweat with dread and doom.

[nicola1980]

My sons had the cyst yrs, u can move it etc and see it protruding slightly out but apparantly v harmless and common x x

[zippy]

Can you get hold of it between your fingers? You can feel mine on the top of my skin slightly. It feels squeashy and slightly oval in shape. I am just a tattie pot always thinking the worst and make myself ill with anxiety.
How are you now?

[Mick081081]

Hi Zippy,

Honestly it's nothing sinister, I've had one on my spine half way down my back for a good 10 years it's 2 inches by about 1.5 inch and it sticks out a good 2cm in the middle. Like I've said before I've had 5 others removed they are totally harmless my younger brother also suffers with them.

I know you are worried but try to think logically about it, it didn't grow slowly it just appeared quickly, two doctors have said the same thing and many people get them such as me they either go with antibiotics or you can have it surgically removed if it bothers you.

Anxiety is horrible and I hope you manage to talk yourself round that it is nothing to worry about as being in fear is the worst feeling.

Hope you start feeling ok.

Take care,

Mick.

[zippy]

Thanks Mick i hope your right. I just don't think its an abscess and 2 gp's have told me it is. I can feel my anxiety symtoms creeping in, lack of appetite, off balance, backache and a tense/tight stomach. I hate myself for always thinking the worst.

[Mick081081]

Hiya,

Don't hate yourself for worrying about it just try to keep yourself occupied and every time that crappy anxiety raises it ugly head to make you think about the abscess try to ignore it, treat it like a person you dislike and tell it to clear off. It sounds mad but if you can learn to treat it as an enemy you'll start to resent the anxiety instead of yourself for thinking about it. Make it a separate part of you and try to remove it from your thoughts. Hope you start feeling better soon and take it easy on yourself don't beat yourself up over it or you'll end up feeling worse.

Take care,

Mick.

[honeyb]

Zippy, please stop worrying (I'm a good one to talk), but the fact that the lump is squishy is a good sign, as i said before it means that it's liquid filled. I feel terrible too today, all off balance and like someone is pushing me to one side.

[zippy]

Thanks honeybee. I get the off balance feeling and it ususally feels like to my left. I cant stop feeling this bloody lump, its feels long and squishy and when i hold it the other way it feels firmer. It's doing my head in because i know its not going to go. I am at my partners sisters wedding on friday at a nice posh hotel and i am making myself ill with worry. Its all i think about that i am going to die with this lump. It's crazy.

[honeyb]

It won't go if you keep prodding it, you will make it sore and then you will worry about it hurting! When i found a lump in my breast i kept prodding and made it sore then convinced myself that i had cancer, even though the doc said that he didn't think it was, but they have to send me to see a consultant because i was in my 30's.

[zippy]

As you probably all know because i have posted numerous posts about this lump under my belly, i am really worried. My head feels all heavy and foggy and feel like i cant think straight and i keep thinking yes it's because i have cancer with this lump. I keep trying to think rationally that having a lump on my belly wouldn't cause my head to feel heavy and foggy and off balance and crying, it's the anxiety taking over. It's like my brain gets a blanket put over and it and makes me not think clearly and rationally. My thoughts take over me and make me into a different neurotic person and eventually when the fog lifts and i can think straight i laugh at myself for getting into that state again :blush:

[rockydog]

Hi have you had the lump checked out yet ? x

[zippy]

Yes i have seen 2 doctors in the last 2 weeks and they say it's an abscess but i don't think it is. It isn't going, it isn't sore and it has no head on and i am into my 2nd wek of antibiotics. Now i have loose bowels, off balance and feel like i have been kicked in the side of my head.

[rockydog]

The problem is antibiotics and anxiety could cause you to have loose bowels couldnt it and your head is definitely nothing to do with your stomach lump ? It is horrible when you are so anxious and then you get like a real symptom, because there is obviously no denying you have a lump.
The one thing though doctors are generally pretty careful with lumps and although they may be wrong about it being an abscess, they would know if it was harmful. Coming from a medical family i have been assured many times the one thing that is easy to tell is the feel of a worrying lump. They usually know very quickly if it has any signs of being anything serious. How big is the lump because if it is anything but small i would think other things would show up. Often the lump comes second with things. Have you had the off balance before ? as i get that with every worry i have, it also wouldnt tie in with a problem lump though.
Go back though if you are still worried and explain what you have said, it isnt sore or come to a head, how can it be an abscess ? I have had a few lumps one i still have is a cyst and i have had it 5 years so have to trust it is a cyst and the other was fatty tissue. x

[zippy]

Thanks rockydog, i have made an appointment to see a gp in the morning. Yes i always get the off balance with anxiety and also bowel trouble but i always think no its different this time.
The gp i saw last week said it didnt feel like anything nasty. My belly often breaks out in a rash because i am allergic to metal off my belt/jeans and the lump is in that area but deep under my skin. And there is no way anything is going to come out of it. It isnt massive about the size of a marble.

[zippy]

Well i have been to see another gp this morning about my lump and he said i have to calm down and its nothing to worry about at all. He gave me another course of antibiotics and some cream and said its just a collection of pus deep under my skin and its absolutely nothing to bother about. I have came out feeling positive and i hope it lasts because 3 doctors cant be wrong and if they thought for one minute it was serious they would do something about it. I just hope all these butterflies and tense stomach go soon because even though i am positive they dont just instantly go.

[miss sparkle]

ah that's brilliant zippy. Hopefully in a few weeks time it will of disappeared completely. You are right 3 doctors wouldn't be wrong! :)

[zippy]

Thanks miss sparkle. I don't know why i always think the worst and cause more symptoms and then go on a downward spiral. Hopefully i will get into through to my thick head to forget about it and stop feeling it and checking it because 3 gp's cant be wrong.