Anxiety ruins what should be lovely occasions!

[NOGGIN]

Was invited to a friends wedding this Saturday and was going to stay over with a pal. Well got myself into a real panic over it last week as it was getting closer.
Burst into tears at work (all 3 of us work together) and told her just didn't think could do it.
She was great about it and so was my pal as I am open about my problem with anxiety. Now going to evening do and if feel ok might have drive to church but will decide on the day.
My anxiety comes on when I am out of my normal routine and I go over and over situations until I make myself anxious about being anxious!
Holidays, events, nice outings are a real issue for me and I end up feeling shocking. I do try to be pro active and have had very therapy going as it is a long term thing for me.
Just really disappointed with the whole thing. Does anyone else suffer in this way? :weep:

[Rennie1989]

I do, I totally agree. It was my boyfriend's leavind do last week and I could feel a panic attack brewing all night. Yesterday we went to Sainsbury's to find him a new suit and I started snapping and pacing (almost running) to get everything we needed to go, not thinking about how much he wanted this suit. I felt awful for him, he's out now with mates, I would have gone but..... I'm becoming housebound.

I hope you enjoy the wedding ceremony :) even if you go to the evening do, it'll be lovely!

[NOGGIN]

We beat ourselves up don't we, why is it so difficult for us? If you don't mind me enquiring have you suffered long term?:)

[flossie]

To take some of the pressure off of you about going into the church you could be outside when she arrives so you can wish her good luck as she enters for the ceremony. Or you could wait outside to wave to the bride and groom as they come out of the church. This way you are in control as to when you arrive and leave but also show support for you friend and be a part of her happy day.

[neowallace]

Hi Noggin

I have cancelled around 6 invites this year due to my anxiety. I have missed out and let this control me. I agree with Flossie in the past I would plan just to go along for say 2 hours if I was okay I would stay longer if not make a polite excuse no need to go into details and leave. At least you are working towards something. I hope I can take this advice the next time I get an invite. In fairness though some of us can have high anxiety symptoms and even the thought of going for a wee while can make you worse. I send you good wishes and hope it works out for you...So the answer I can suffer this way and I am sure many people who use this site have felt the same.

x:)

[sarahblonde32]

yes this anxiety has ruined so many things : ( i just about managed a wedding a while ago,but i drove so i knew i could go when i wanted to leave. I tell myself 'ok, its just a .....wedding/party/etc and il be there 1 hour then we can go'
and if im doing ok then i stay a bit longer...and sometimes i push myself to get through and make myself stay then i feel better for doing it!
try it! and relax and just TRY to enjoy!
sarah

[kittikat]

It's a very difficult one for me too....on the one hand you feel bad for not accepting invites, on the other, if you do accept it consumes you with anticipatory anxiety and end up cancelling at the last minute anyway....I hate that about myself!! It can be quite a solitary existence sometimes, but it really needen't be like that, it's just having the courage to stop worrying and expand our world. Hmmm, a bit easier said than done for me!!

Kitti :)

[NOGGIN]

Well me and my friend went to the church and wished our pal all the best before she went inside.
I drove to the evening reception and didn't take any diazepam all day! Stayed quite late had a good dance and took advantage of the buffet table :)
I still feel bad for not going all day and so wished I could, but have to accept I did more than I thought I would. :yesyes:

[kittikat]

Great achievement :yesyes: well done....I think you should be so pleased with yourself, don't feel bad for not going all day...you done what you felt comfortable with and no meds, so hats off to you for that!! Brilliant :)

Kitti x

[Magic]

Brings back memories of my youngest daughter's wedding day
Her and her husband -to be -stayed at different places so we could stop at there house. OMG the house was full of vases of lilys to which the smell was over powering, so I had to go upstairs or outside. I was so nervous (had tranquiisers)the wedding was very nice and some nice poetry was recited by "posh" guests--
guests we did not know and I had to sit by the best man whom I had never met before at reception. I felt inadiquit and with my Stoke accent .The guests were old uni friends. I could not speak to anyone. I was transfixed to my chair. I am only cormfortouble with a few poeple around me.
I got through the day and went back to the house and left the young ones dancing,
I stayed up all night reading poetry books. no sleeping tablets would work.
We got back home asap and I bawled my heart out because I just wanted to be "normal" and mix and talk to people.
Love to everyone:hugs: