OldClubber
04-05-12, 02:05
Hi
Well where do I start, little bit of my history and where I think my problems arouse from, I might of developed issues anyway, but I will never know as the problems started after.
Anyway I was a clubber in the early 90s and experimented with drugs, nothing to heavy just the usual recreational stuff like weed,xtc,coke etc
Anyway about 16yrs ago I had a bad night and had a bad trip on E and from that night my life has changed and since then I have been living with it constantly in the back of my mind and trying to battle my own demons!
I can feel great for long periods but I can also feel terrible for long periods also!
I seem to of beaten most of it and can now talk myself out of panic attacks on the whole BUT I still suffer with anxiety especially if out clubbing etc (I actually avoided places for a long time) but socially I am still not 100% and far from it!
My main anxiety now is illness and even death, I am petrified now of death for some reason, I worry I am going to get ill and alsorts! Where as in the past I have been able to talk myself thru things the whole death and illness thing is now really getting to me!
I am 37 and enough is enough, I want my life back :weep:
Well where do I start, little bit of my history and where I think my problems arouse from, I might of developed issues anyway, but I will never know as the problems started after.
Anyway I was a clubber in the early 90s and experimented with drugs, nothing to heavy just the usual recreational stuff like weed,xtc,coke etc
Anyway about 16yrs ago I had a bad night and had a bad trip on E and from that night my life has changed and since then I have been living with it constantly in the back of my mind and trying to battle my own demons!
I can feel great for long periods but I can also feel terrible for long periods also!
I seem to of beaten most of it and can now talk myself out of panic attacks on the whole BUT I still suffer with anxiety especially if out clubbing etc (I actually avoided places for a long time) but socially I am still not 100% and far from it!
My main anxiety now is illness and even death, I am petrified now of death for some reason, I worry I am going to get ill and alsorts! Where as in the past I have been able to talk myself thru things the whole death and illness thing is now really getting to me!
I am 37 and enough is enough, I want my life back :weep: