FW:sick and tired of panic

[Sue K with 5]

I suppose i should be posting this on success stories, today i walked down to my local shop I am fortunate to have someone with some cbt training unlike my stupid therapist who last week announced to me he had no formal cbt training. I ask you !

Anyway, I got half way down and I freaked, I am standing just past the bus stop with people on a bus staring at me I was crying and holding this persons hand. I told my friend tracy that they probably thought it was two lesbians having an arguement in the street. God if my neighbour were on the bus I wll move. But she got me to that shop and out again, and then we walked home slowly (probably cos it was up hill )mind u afterwards I also took willow in the car to nursery. Now I know I should be happy at my achievement but i am not. Why ?? someone please tell me why now i have done it why i firstly dont want to do it again and why i feel bloody worse

this is sodding stupid now. When is someone going to find the Answer to the cure for this. cos I am getting past the point of giving a damn whether i go out again.



sue with 5

scknight

[carlin]

Hi there, I so truly understand your frustration, you go out (with me it takes hours to pluck up courage), you feel awful and want to go home, everyone is staring at you, you finally achieve what you set out to do, get home and feel a darned sight worse than when you went out. That is usually my daily senario. I don't know why mate, all i know is that we cannot and will not give up, we will not let this beat us, i find it so much easier to stay at home (my children are all older now and do their 'own' thing), i so think this was a success, the more we practise, the more natural it will become? or that's what i have been told, it is hard, but never give up!!! and that's an order, by the way, am not making light of your post, but a couple bits did make me smile (sorry) xxxxxxxxjean

[Piglet]

Sue,

I can totally indentify here mate - I am working my way through agoraphobia too and like Jean now the kids are all able to their own things, the desire/need to go out has become less and less - so I do it less and less.

However this week, I have on my own the last three days walked a few houses each way from my own house.

I can understand although today was a massive success it didnt feel like it because it was scary and not the least bit enjoyable. I promise you that if you did that same thing everyday at some point you would stop reacting like that. One because you would eventually realise that other than it being embarassing nothing actually physically happened to you - eventually you would get bored cos the trip becomes ordinary and it would stop happening.

The trick is to try and learn to enjoy rather than endure. We need to stop viewing every outing as a challange and more of a chance to practice. Perhaps it may have been better for you to walk to the end of the road each day till that felt right, personally I too would have found the shop a bit far.

I really believe we have to gain our confidence by starting small and telling ourselves we are doing this cos we want to - not because we have to. We could infact probably stay indoors forever if neccessary but we don't want to, so this is why we are trying to practice getting out because we choose to (sorry that sounds waffly but I know what I mean[:I]:D)!!

Every journey starts with but a single step (as the saying goes)!!:D:D

Love Piglet x

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[mirry]

try not clinging to the feeling you felt today, i know its difficult but keep your thoughts on how much you achieved.

Yest I did the school run alone and had a panic , today i went out again in a bad mood because my husband said to me, do you need me to come with you ? I shouted no i dont (because hes been buggin me lately) I marched up to that school thinking I dont need anyone and WOW IT FELT GOOD.,,which shows you,
It is mind over matter most the time.

keep doing it ,doing it , doing it, doing it until it feels better.

mirryx

[lisa p]

Hi Susan

I can fully understand how you are feeling, this happens to me time and time again, I think we get totally worn out by all the effort and worry we put into going out of the house.

I have two children (4 and 8) and this week for the first time in 3 years I have had no panic going to school.

I know it is easier said than done, but think positive you DID IT, and you will be able to do it again.

Keep up the good work.

There seems to be several of us on the road to recovery, We all have to stay positive.

Take Care

Lisa p

[tracyp584]

Sue,

Well done for yesterday, you are doing great. In fact, you are probably doing better than you think.

I think as soon as we start doing something we do feel worse, because we know that we have more to face, and it can be scary.

Right with you all the way, just like you are with me through the whole of my JT concert!

Love ya,

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

[Sue K with 5]

Thank you guys

Mirry I get like that when i am mad it makes me determined

So thanks for reminding me that it can work!! I am not giving in and i dont care if i have to punch the wall to do it some days if its madness it wants them madness it will get

Tracy I am coming to London with ya by phone honey Thanks mate your the best
Sue

scknight

[clickaway]

Sue,

This *is* a success story - name no mistake about it.

Try and find a purpose to go out regularly if at all possible. It may be to post a letter, buy a magazine or better still a Magnum!

But Piglet is right, also see it as a chance to Practice. A chance to practice so you can go away and enjoy yourself doing what YOU want to do. Finding your own space maybe.

Like saving up for that dream holiday.

You can do it hun!



Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[PUGLETMUM]

hello sue, i have also been struggling with agoraphobia like you and others and i have felt exactly the same this week, in as much as i've done things this last week that i've not done for years and i should be walking on cloud nine but like you i'm not!!!

but i'm not going to make my situation worse by dwelling on this question, so what i'm not feeling ecstatic, so what i'm still avoiding things i don't feel able to cope with, but like the other person said, you know deep down you will never never give up so you have to just live with it and work round it. and like yourself for not giving in, people like us are actually very strong because we LIVE with it AND still continue on and on even though we are in emotional and physical discomfort, PLEASE GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR DOING THIS!!!!!

everything is such an effort that your hardly likely to get any enjoyment out of ANYTHING you do!!! ask yourself if another person had to feel like how you felt going there would they feel any enjoyment out of what they did? and the answer would be NO they would'nt they would feel completely shattered and wiped out by the experience and they certainly would'nt want to do it again!! and this is how we live our lives DAILY!!!

you have to give yourself a break here, and i also recommend my fantastic book from america 'DON'T PANIC' BY R REID WILSON if you can get hold of this book i guarantee you will feel better.

i can remember being at the start of my avoidant behaviour when my daughter was 2 and meeting this awful young trainee occupational therapist( now i would just tell her where to go - so patronizing!!) at the morrisons down the road from me, and then i went on the bus and met her in town, now for the next four years iv'e had help on and off but nothing has helped me like this book and coming to places like here. this book taught me to stop beating myself up and to stop knocking everything i did as not being good enough, basically you HAVE to get rid of that negative voice that is almost permanently there and find what he calls your 'SUPPORTIVE OBSERVER' and i guarantee you will start to feel better.

last week i drove to morrisons alone and got petrol ALONE!!! and i'm continuing to go into morrisons alone and i've even driven to my sainsbury's alone and gone in and got something alone!!!! so i'm making that progress without a counsellor or therapist, proving that they can't do it for you, you have to start supporting your efforts.

so i've done well but i'm not walking on air, but i'm just accepting that fact and knowing that i will do something challenging that WILL make me walk on air and so will you!!!

emmas

[Eclipse]

Hi Sue
I'm not agoraphobic - I know this cos it's not 'open spaces' that I'm afraid of, but the people who fill them - but I can sympathise with the going to the shops scenario. My shop is a hundred yards up the road but we have a mirror in our hallway & it always starts with the 'I'll just check I look presentable' on the way out business. First my lipstick's not straight, so I wipe it off and start again, then my hair's not right cos there's stray hairs sticking out (usually silver ones;I refuse to say they're grey cos that gives me something else to worry about!) so I have to redo my hair, then the 'God you're a mess/ugly' factor sets in and so it goes on until I've put myself off even leaving the house. My fiance gets home from work and it apparently transpires that I've just been too lazy to get off my fat a**e & do anything! Unless someone's had experience of something similar, how dare they judge or assume.
My hat (if I wore one) comes off to you [^]
You've made great strides & should be proud of yourself - I would be -so revel in your accomplishment & tell yourself you're destined for bigger steps & greater things!!
Loads of Best Wishes
B Wolf
XX

brentor_wolf