It never goes away

[Jenwales]

I'm jen. I'm 23. I find it hard to talk about my problems, it's easy online so I'll keep this short before I start worrying or something.
I had my first panic attack in a school assembly and fo weeks didn;t have a clue what was wrong with me. That made the anxiety worse, I had panic attacks all the time. After ECG monitor at home and blood tests a specialist diagnosed me with stress! So more panic attacks and anxiety and fear of assemblys. I realised I had panic attacks when an episode of GMTV featured somebody with them. So I found a book in my library 'overcoming panic' the cbt techniques helped me and me panic attacks eased and left.
Since then I've had general anxiety on and off. Bad spells and good days.

Recently: I've had two panic attacks. Went ot my doctor for help who gave me ateneolol beta blockers and who seems more concerned with my blood pressue. I have to go back to redo a blood test and blood pressure. He's told me my pill could be giving me blood pressure so just to be sure he's told me to stop taking it!
All this has made my anxiety worse, worrying if I have high blood pressure I've turned into a hyprcondrica (actualyl i already was one). Worried if I'm actually ill and also concerned he'll tell me to stop taknig my contraceptive pill for good! I'm also worrying about what happens when I stop taking this beta blocker as some say you get heart palpitations. I'm on 25mg.

Every time I think my anxiety has gone I develop a new symptom. I thought I was over panic attacks :( I just don't know what to do anymore. Yet again the drs seem useless and I have no trust in them. I feel like I cant help myself anymore.
I can't stop worrying. I can't talk to anyone nobody understands and if I saw a therapist I doubt I could talk to them either. I can't find words or the courage to talk about myself. I suffer in silence.

Anyway if you've read all this thanks for taking the time. Just thought I'd introduce myself. I don't know if this site will help me, but hi.
Maybe I can help someone else if not myself, right now I'd just love to get back to normal.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Jenwales

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[nicola1980]

Hi and welcome, i suffer anxiety and panic attacks too, truly horrible but you'll get lots of support on here x x

[kittikat]

Hi Jen & :welcome:

Lots of us here suffering like you. I remember having a panic attack in a meeting at work and each time there was a meeting after that I would panic before I even got in and have to sit near to the exit door in case I needed to escape!! Anxiety fuels panic and lots of other negative thoughts...what a shame you feel you cannot discuss with your doctor. But don't write off therapy, you may just find it really helpful. I went 6 years ago and it really helped me to control the panic attacks. I have recently started a new course and I am finding this really beneficial too. You are not alone here and I hope you find some comfort being among likeminded and supportive people...as I have. :hugs:

Kitti :)

[mk4402]

I wouldnt worry about stopping the atenolol, it did nothing for me, actually made me feel worse with the dizzness/nausea after taking it for 4 weeks and I told doctor as much and was told to just take 10mg (from 20) for a week then stop, and I had no effects whatsoever from stopping it

if you wanna talk to someone of similar age going thru the same sorta stuff welcome to drop me a pm

[Pipkin]

Hi Jen and :welcome:

I know how awful anxiety is and that the fear of it can make it worse, it's a vicious circle we're all trying hard to break.

You are very self-aware about your anxiety and that's very positive. You're also young and the sooner you start to work on your anxiety, the better chance you have of beating it. As you get older, habits and behaviours become very engrained and it's harder to deal with.

Beta blockers can be great at reducing the physical symptoms of anxiety and panic such as the racing heart, knotted stomach feeling and shaking. If they work for you, stick with them for as long as your GP thinks is appropriate. When you stop taking them, taper off over a couple of weeks and you should be ok.

As Kitty rightly said, don't write off therapy. In fact, I would be pretty sure it's the best course of action for you. You've expressed yourself really well in this post and you can easily do the same to an understanding therapist. They understand the condition and will help you to get to the bottom of the causes and work with you on how to deal with it. Beta blockers or other meds can't do this, they can just give you some relief whilst you tackle your problems (and they can do this very well).

Speak to your GP about therapy - CBT is usually the preferred option though I've also had relaxation therapy which teaches you how to identify tension and to relieve it. It's a great technique to reduce anxiety levels.

Take care and keep coming back on here. We really understand and you're not on your own.

Pip x

[Jenwales]

Thanks

[rockydog]

Hi just so you know when i first went for therapy i was able to write everything down and like a time line of events in my life so i didnt have to think about where to start as they had it all in writing and went from there xx

[theharvestmouse]

The time it takes from you is also a pain, the time we spend thinking/talking about our problems, what a complete waste of time.