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Jules31
18-05-04, 12:35
Hi everyone

I'm having a rough time at the moment which I think is all the more worse because I start my counselling today. I know I need to do it but I really don't want to dredge up all the things I have managed to bury. I have to take photos of my Dad with me today. Sorting them out last night just set me off. I found lots of happy memories but then just remembered the pain of him not being here. It doesn't help that it's the anniversary of us losing him on Thursday. So guess this couldn't come at a worse time.

I've been feeling off for days and the rational side of my brain has just shot it. My mouth is burning as are the backs of my eyes and even inside my nose a bit. I keep going really giddy, even sitting here at my desk, am having hot sweats every now and then and on top of them have started having twitches all over over my body at different time. Before it was just in my eye,now it's my back, legs, shoulder, arms, chest. They will just last for a few seconds and then go usually. Also I feel like an elephant is sitting on the top of my head.

I know that a lot of this can be caused by anxiety but guess I just need that bit of reassrance at the moment. I hope I'm strong enough to get through this.

Jules

sarah
18-05-04, 13:29
Hi Jules

Im sorry about your Dad. No wonder you are feeling lower than usual, it must be an emotional time anyway.

You start with your councellor today?
Just remember this.. Your councellor probably see's people like you and worse than you all the time. If you break down and cry they wont look at you like you are nuts, they have seen it all before!

As for your symptons, well I get things like this too. Not all the time, mine seem to do the rounds as is common with us panickers. For a few weeks my stmptoms are headaches, then they stop and its nausea, then that changes to dizzyness, then aches and pains etc. Its like as soon as you recognise the feeling as a symptom of anxiety then it realised its been caught out and changes to another symptom.

The secret is to acknowledge the feelings as anxiety related, ignore it and deal with it telling yourself thats all it is.

Each time I have a higher level of anxiety or a symptom than usual I try to play a game with it to see if I can make up a good legitimate excuse as to why I feel like it.
eg
I forgot my tablet yesterday
I ache because I did some gardening
I have my period
I didnt get much sleep last night
I must have slept funny on my arm etc

you get the picture...well it works for me..give it a try. The minute you work out why you might have a certain feeling and convince yourself why, you will feel better.

Take care

love Sarah
xx



we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)

april tones
18-05-04, 14:13
sorry to hear your not feeling too good. It is going to be hard but you have already took first step by going to counceller. It helps some times helps by having a cry and releasing all tension. Sounds like you have alot of tension, get some one to give you a massage that helps me, take care, love april

apriltones

sal
18-05-04, 16:10
Hu Jules

Sorry to hear about your dad, i know how hard it must be for your especially with the anniversary been so close. I hope it goes really well with the counsellor and in time it will be a great help for you. I know it is horrible dreadging up the past but sometimes if we can sort the past out the future looks a lot happier place to be in. You will also be anxious as just starting the counselling but once you get there and start talking you hopefully will be amazed how much easier is it than you though. We are all here for you. You take care and let us know how your session went.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

Tessie28
18-05-04, 16:41
hi jules,
having lost both my dad and mum within the last four years i know how horrible the anniversaries are. i am always more depressed at these times so don't expect too much of yourself just now. you are strong enough to get through this and the counselling is likely to be a big help. sometimes the society in which we live expects too much of us - it isn't easy to move on as others might expect us to. this just makes you a more caring person and isn't any sign of weakness. take care,
love tess:)

Jules31
19-05-04, 14:31
Thank you all for the kind words.

The counselling session was a lot better than I expected. I didn't get really upset, which I thought was guaranteed and the counsellor was really gentle with me. I went very red and hot at one stage and felt so vague but survived.

Today again I feel dreadful but hopefully things will start to get better soon. At the moment, I'm just scared that I will never be free from this.

It helps knowing that you are all here.

Hugs
Julie

Tessie28
19-05-04, 16:36
hi Jules,
glad it went okay with the counsellor. Just try to take each day as it comes - don't think long term it can be more scary. life will get better you know,
love tess

sadie
19-05-04, 19:28
Hi Jules,

Sorry I missed this post before. Anyway I am glad things went ok with your counsellor. Keep it up as it should help you in the long run and if anything, atleast you have someone who can listen to you and understand what your feeling etc. Although, we will always be here to listen to you too!

I read something the other day which I made me think just how much I feel the way I do due to the way I think...

'We are our thoughts and the contents of our thoughts have a major influence on our emotions'

Therefore, the more I worry about myself and my health the worse I feel. So if I just learn to change how I think the better I will feel. Sounds easy but I believe it to be true.

Just thought it would maybe help you to understand that there is hope that your anxiety could go away if your thoughts towards it chnage!!! (dont know if Im making much sense...had a hard day at work!!)

Hope your doing ok though!!

sadie

imported_n/a
19-05-04, 20:37
hi there jules,,sorry but have you had councelling before ,,i was panicking so much when i found i had my first appointment i couldnt even make it that far at the time and had to go a little further everytime for nearly 2 weeks before i made it there i was so determined to get some help and it was the best experience for me,,obviously there were the inital fears but they soon subsided and by the3rd time of going i was looking forward to going and now i have my last appointment on 26 may and am dissapointed i have no more ,,i have had 7 sessions and they were all great and helped me so much,,,best wishes mate and all the luck ok chin up,,darren

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""

uryjm
19-05-04, 21:57
Hi Jules
Don't worry, you will find peace from this and the anxiety will definately recede. Going to a counsellor will help you immensely and give you some objectivity. Friends and family can be well-meaning but too close to home, and you need space and time to sort yourself out. Good luck.
Jim

Jim