If you look hard enough, do you discover "hidden things" like lumps?

[skyisblue]

I've been doing great for 5 months until I discovered two semi-soft and non-painful lumps on my right rib. I have no idea how long they have been there, but you can just imagine the feeling I had when I felt them as I was poking everywhere.

If I just touch my abdomen area and rib cage area, I do not feel anything. However, if I poke and look hard enough, I can feel the small lumps. Of course, I am thinking of the worst that involves my liver/pancreas/other major organ.

2 weeks ago, I went to the doctor because of bad stomach (it turns out it was just indigestion). He made me lay down on my back and started poking and feeling my tummy and elsewhere including my ribs. He said I was more than fine. Of course, back then, I still didn't know about the newly discovered lumps because I hadn't discovered them yet. The doctor was probably not looking for it too.

Now I am trying my best not to worry about it too much. I know that I'm still thinking that it could be you-know-what, but I am still hoping that they could just be some weird palpable tissue or some body part that is just supposed to be there.

Any inputs on what could this probably be? :weep:

And have you ever looked extra hard on your body and you discovered "something" which you think that shouldn't be there (ex. lumps, etc.)?

[debbsi]

Everytime I 'check' my body - you can guarantee I will find something!! Which has fueled my anxiety - I was at the gps this week for the same thing - I decided to give my breasts a deep prod and poke and low and behold I found the lobes of the breast - meant to be there - but cos I avoid doing that normally I hadnt felt them before.

[Dreamalittledream]

skyisblue

yes, and wouldnt you know it I had to come on here cos I knew it was my anxiety playing up.

And I don't just mean I was checking, I mean I think I found the exact same little lump just under my right hand rib, just before the soft tissue?....lol.

What do you think the chances of two anxiety sufferers have some sort of growth in the same spot are?

Yes it is much more likely that we both suffer anxiety!

Oh and yes lumps can just appear/ That is one of the things that triggered my anxiety into occurance last year. My husband had two lumps under his arm, one was am enlarged lymph node and the other was nothing...and most definately not cancer!

(he has drugs that make him more susceptable to cancers, so they checked thoroughly, even ordering a biopsy, though this wasnt taken as it was actually too small to biopsy)

It is most likely just grissly (sp?) tissue.

Having said that I will probably get my stomach checked as I have been good and it has been 3 months since I last went to the Dr! And yes I have a list...

But I have brought myself down from that eeek high when you find something. I am usually good about not checking but I had a slight stinging on that side (probably just from sitting in one position while playing pc games but even that can lead to checking!)

Hoep you are doing better.

[skyisblue]

debbsi, I understand how you feel. I've been doing my best not to think so much about it and just move on with my life. I'm a male so I worry less about my breast. Good thing the doctor told you it was just part of your body. That must have been a great relief.

dreamlittledream,

Sorry if I sound stupid, but I just want to clarify that you're trying to say you just discovered a lumpish thing on your right ribs too? Eeek.

It's so difficult to not think that this could be something else. It's so weird. The moment I discovered this, my body just went weak. My arms felt really heavy and I felt lightheaded. I felt okay after 2 hours.

I hope your husband is doing fine. I'm sure he'll get through those meds without any serious side effects. The doctors are going to do a good job on monitoring him.

[Dreamalittledream]

skyisblue

Yes I found a little soft lump just on/under my right rib...

So yes I think it is much more likely that we have discovered one of those many lumpy things we have in our bodies, than we both happen to suffer health anxiety and have started suffering from some disorder/disease!

Amazing how your mind can do that, my high (what I call the dizzy anxious time after "discovering" something) took about 40 minutes to come down from. I tend to get really cranky if someone (like hubby) happens to talk to me before I have finished talking myself off that "ledge".

Also although your Dr wasnt looking for that specific lump, thing is, he did check the area, so would have found anything hugely abnormal.

It doesnt mean you shouldnt get it checked but do make sure to talk yourself off the ledge before rebooking a dr's appointment. And remember, even if it was something, the world will not end, there are treatments for just about everything and a large proportion of them are pretty successful.

[skyisblue]

dream, thank you again.

It's so hard to focus on the things I love when this thing is bothering me. I read in other boards that the rib area is full of muscles etc that can be lumpy. I hope what I'm having is just normal.

One last thing though. Ever since I started poking it yesterday, the spot has become reddish in color. A few years back during my Googling of symptoms days, I did read that bumpy areas with reddish spots could be a bad sign. Ugh, it's been almost 9 hours since last poked it madly and my mind is just telling me that it could just be an irritation from all the touching and all that. I'm not really sure if the color has already decreased, but I'm still thinking like a crazy person. :wacko:

[candy_floss]

After going to the doctor for the millionth time about a lump I'd found, he told me to remember that we have many lumps in our body, most of which are MEANT to be there! Bone, muscle, fat, lymph nodes (I can feel ALL of mine. This is my obsession!). If you're not a doctor then you don't know what it is that you are feeling and whether it's supposed to be there or not. And I have several cysts and lipomas that the doctors have done nothing more than keep an eye on, simply because they are not even worse treating. Unfortunately, I seem to be a very 'lumpy' person and my weight means it's easy to find these things if I look hard enough.

One of my stupidest freak outs was after I'd lost weight. Suddenly I was so thin I could feel everything and I started getting the sensation that I was 'sitting' on something, like a lump. So I ran crying to my mum (who is a nurse) who told me that what the 'lump' I could feel was actual my coccyx, which is the bumpy bit of bone at the bottom of your spine, totally normally and had always been there, I just hadn't noticed before I'd lost all the weight and started poking at it! :blush:
And only last month I was back at the doctors about a lump in my wrist. It turned out to be a ganglion cyst. My doctor said at the time that it was so tiny that she was sure anyone who didn't have health anxiety probably wouldn't have even noticed it was there at all! :blush:.

So yes, constant self checking is going to make you find things. That's why I'm desperately trying to cut down on the self checking because it doesn't help reassure me at all.
I'm not saying don't visit the doctor because I know if it was me I'd be first in the queue! But do try and get some perspective on things. Good luck :yesyes:

[dannibear94]

Hi, I totally sympathise with you! I do this all the time, one day it'll be under my ribs then it'll be in my leg ugh its soooo annoying! Once I was so convinced that I had a 'big lump' in the bend at my forearm that I actually went to the doctors about it and they more less laughed it turned out just to be like muscle tissue. I know its hard it really is but the less you check yourself the better you will feel, if we look hard enough we will always find something 'wrong' with us which is in fact absolutely normal. We don't need the extra panic when in actual fact can be prevented. I hope you feel better soon, you're never alone : ) - Danielle<3

[Dreamalittledream]

candy_floss

Thank you for your post, my HA also seriously started at a time I had just lost 25 kilo's (about 4 stone) and yes I started noticing every little bump and pain cos they were things I hadnt seen or felt in so long! But so far it hasnt been my cocyx!

In fact I wonder if that is why despite trying I havent lost any more weight, cos my mind knows I couldnt cope with the checking that would happen!

I also found lumps in my thighs...when my dr checked them I was told the disgusting facts about how fat can form in clumps like a thread of beads, and because the skin is thinner on your inner thighs you are more likely to feel lumps there. You can imagine how that set me off at the time of discovering them though!

Actually my therapist said with the storm that happened in my world at the time it was no surprise I ended up with HA. My dad died from late diagnosed cancer, friend suicided, I lost 25 kilo's and found body parts, hubby found lumps, work wise - I went through three new bosses and one department merge - yup that was a great six months!

I did ask my mum recently and she said even when I was little I would come to her with things and she said she wasnt being Mum like and telling me there was nothing there (just so I wouldnt cry etc). She quite literally could not see what I was obsessing over. So obviously there is hope, as I managed to not be so obsessive about it for a good twenty/thirty years.

skyisblue

My solution is that I agree with myself that if I don't touch it for at least three days after finding it (I can now go longer but start with enough days that if you have irritated it that it calms down) - in your case this might actually be more like a week.

And then if I can find it again (and am still worried) then I am allowed to go to the Dr. No constant prodding, no checking during that time, nor during the time waiting for a dr's appointment. Me prodding it is not going to diagnose it, only the Dr will do that.

I also tell myself that yes if this was worst case scenario and the big C, I am going to die in those three days while I chill and leave it alone.

[candy_floss]

candy_floss

Thank you for your post, my HA also seriously started at a time I had just lost 25 kilo's (about 4 stone) and yes I started noticing every little bump and pain cos they were things I hadnt seen or felt in so long! But so far it hasnt been my cocyx!

In fact I wonder if that is why despite trying I havent lost any more weight, cos my mind knows I couldnt cope with the checking that would happen!

I also found lumps in my thighs...when my dr checked them I was told the disgusting facts about how fat can form in clumps like a thread of beads, and because the skin is thinner on your inner thighs you are more likely to feel lumps there. You can imagine how that set me off at the time of discovering them though!

Actually my therapist said with the storm that happened in my world at the time it was no surprise I ended up with HA. My dad died from late diagnosed cancer, friend suicided, I lost 25 kilo's and found body parts, hubby found lumps, work wise - I went through three new bosses and one department merge - yup that was a great six months!

I did ask my mum recently and she said even when I was little I would come to her with things and she said she wasnt being Mum like and telling me there was nothing there (just so I wouldnt cry etc). She quite literally could not see what I was obsessing over. So obviously there is hope, as I managed to not be so obsessive about it for a good twenty/thirty years.

Yes I can also feel lumps in my thigh! I would have completely freaked out if it hadn't been for the fact that I could feel the same thing on both side. What sets me off is finding a lump and having no other 'side' to check that it feels normal (i.e my coccyx freakout!). Although my doctor told me this is ridiculous too since we are not all perfectly symmetrical anyway.

The fat thing is gross right? I have an obsession with lymph nodes and convinced myself that I found one near my collar bone. The doctor felt it and said straight away that it was just a bit of 'fatty grizzle' attached to my bone - nice!

I lost weight due to anxiety and not eating. Ever since I've been desperately trying to put the weight back on because when I was bigger, I never noticed half of these things. In fact, I bet even some of my 'abnormal' growths (my cysts and lipomas) would have remained hidden because they have never gotten any bigger or hurt me. They were found by constant poking! :blush:. I've learnt to accept my weight now because I find it ridiculously hard to put the weight back on after losing it all but I desperately don't want to lose anymore.

[skyisblue]

Hi everyone, sorry for the late reply. I had crappy internet connection over the last 24 hours.

Again, thank you for all your replies. They are making me feel better.

It's a bit relaxing to know that I'm not the only one who feels lumpy even after going to the doctors. I guess our bodies are too complex just to be comprehended by anxiety. For my case, I really don't know how to overcome this fear immediately as I am still adjusting my fears. I actually feel fine and I don't feel any weaker. I guess if I hadn't been so obsessed with my body, I wouldn't have found this thing and moved on rightfully with my life as usual.

danni, candy, and dream: I also feel a bit achy on the right part of my ribs especially when I bend over a little. It's like there's a bit of pressure being exerted, but it isn't exactly painful. I'm just hoping that it's a pulled muscle or anything. My auntie who has been a nurse for more than 30 years said that if this were indeed something serious, I would've at least felt sick to the bone. My general mood of being "okay" assures me a little.

Anyone else had this experience of searching one's body and finding something "terrifying"?

[stressybessy]

Hi there, yes I also have a couple of tiny lumps in the fatty tissue over my right ribs. My lovely and ever-so-patient GP said they were probably little lipomas and nothing to worry about. I have decided to take down all mirrors in the house and shower fully clothed from now on - am totally fed up of discovering funny little lumps and bumps and then having all the worry that goes with weeks of waiting for medical appointments, scans etc. And don't even get me started on Dr Google!

[skyisblue]

hi stressy, knowing more than 3 people having some weird lumps almost in the same spot makes me more reassured. i'm sure if it weren't for my HA, i wouldn't have discovered any of this and i would've saved myself a lot of unnecessary stress!

i just hate it when i over analyze things! anybody else have the same experience of looking too much?