Being true to your self

[Connor_cbt]

In another thread i mentioned a book that i am reading from my course and
something that really rang true was about the self and the problems we create
when we deviate from it.

If you imagine a pure self the 100% you thinking, feeling, behaving all
working together with no discrepancies then that is how your natural being
was meant to function, that is how every other species in the animal kingdom
functions. Our society however requires us to modify our behaviour in order
to rub along with everyone else. We have developed ethical/moral, social,
cultural legal and even religious standards that require us to keep our
behaviour in check.
The benefits of this are obvious and without these concepts there would be
chaos.

I'm not saying that we create a fake persona in order to deceive others, but
we often hide our thoughts and feelings for a plethora of reasons.
Problems arise when the outer-self becomes so incongruent with the true self
that they cannot be consolidated.

And it seems like problems with anxiety can often be traced back to this
conflict but it takes a lot of peeling back those layers which is often a painful
process, to find a point where we are able to reconcile the two.

This is at least my understanding/experience of it and i wondered if maybe
this would strike a chord with anyone else?

all the best,

[neowallace]

Hi Connor

I think I get what your saying. I have recently started saying how I really feel instead of saying what others want to hear. Don't get me wrong I can still people please but I am making progress. For once I stood against the GP/Shrink and got a better result for myself. It felt strange and very uncomfortable but needed to be done for myself and my family. I was not acting like a kid I was only saying what I need instead of standing up walking away and them moaning back in the house they never helped. Hope this makes some sense and is on the theme of what you are talking about.:)

[Tish]

I agree with the things you say Connor and as an older person, I can see the problem getting worse. As a society, we are increasingly being told how we SHOULD think and what our opinions SHOULD be.
I think mental health problems, over consumption of alcohol/drugs are definately on the increase due to the pressure we're all under to behave as we're told.
It's a big brother state where we're not allowed free expression or opinion. I can see why, it's to keep us all under control because there are so many of us and we're all so diverse now.
many years ago I heard a simple statement that depression comes about from feeling that you have no control over your life. I think this could be true.