NaomiMay93
14-05-12, 10:30
Hi
Basically, I am currently in University and I met my boyfriend there; we've been an item for roughly 6 months. We were good friends before we got together, too.
He is honestly wonderful! He listens to me, makes me laugh, we always have something to talk about, he compliments me and we're best friends as well as a couple which is great! We're very good together and get on very, very well; we just 'click' and I've never ever been able to really be myself with anyone in my whole life.
I have always suffered from nerves and anxiety - my mind is so over-active! For example, when I was 14, I got my first "boyfriend" but had to end it after one week because I got that nervous that I couldn't hold down any food and was constantly throwing up.
Recently, I had a complete freak-out, worrying I might have caught an STI from an ex partner (for no good reason, but my mind wouldn't stay quiet until I got tested and found out I was fine). Since then, I felt myself pull away from him from the fear of giving him something. I haven't seemed to be able to snap out of this.
We haven't said 'I love you' yet, which I like because there is less pressure and we can just enjoy it. Sometimes I will have really intense feelings where I think I love him etc.
But then other times, I am completely over-taken by anxiety :/ it's driving me insane!! I will obsess over whether he is 'the one' and freak myself out. Then I start questioning and doubting everything and I'm full of 'what ifs?'. It's ridiculous because for the first time in my life I am with a person who treats me right and makes me feel special. I wake up and I feel sick, then I panic and want to cry. I've no idea what's wrong with me.
I know that I would be miserable without him, and generally, I can't bear the thought of not having him in my life. I don't want this to end AT ALL, but my anxiety is distorting my thoughts and messing with me.
Additional info: I've always had very low self-esteem, I obsess about my looks and my weight especially; I was bullied very severely at school which sticks with me immensely; I have had very bad relationships before and my current one is my first 'mature' relationship; we are moving into a house together with our friends for our next year at uni; he wants to go to abroad for his 3rd year at uni which I hate the idea of.
Sorry it's long, but please please help me!
Basically, I am currently in University and I met my boyfriend there; we've been an item for roughly 6 months. We were good friends before we got together, too.
He is honestly wonderful! He listens to me, makes me laugh, we always have something to talk about, he compliments me and we're best friends as well as a couple which is great! We're very good together and get on very, very well; we just 'click' and I've never ever been able to really be myself with anyone in my whole life.
I have always suffered from nerves and anxiety - my mind is so over-active! For example, when I was 14, I got my first "boyfriend" but had to end it after one week because I got that nervous that I couldn't hold down any food and was constantly throwing up.
Recently, I had a complete freak-out, worrying I might have caught an STI from an ex partner (for no good reason, but my mind wouldn't stay quiet until I got tested and found out I was fine). Since then, I felt myself pull away from him from the fear of giving him something. I haven't seemed to be able to snap out of this.
We haven't said 'I love you' yet, which I like because there is less pressure and we can just enjoy it. Sometimes I will have really intense feelings where I think I love him etc.
But then other times, I am completely over-taken by anxiety :/ it's driving me insane!! I will obsess over whether he is 'the one' and freak myself out. Then I start questioning and doubting everything and I'm full of 'what ifs?'. It's ridiculous because for the first time in my life I am with a person who treats me right and makes me feel special. I wake up and I feel sick, then I panic and want to cry. I've no idea what's wrong with me.
I know that I would be miserable without him, and generally, I can't bear the thought of not having him in my life. I don't want this to end AT ALL, but my anxiety is distorting my thoughts and messing with me.
Additional info: I've always had very low self-esteem, I obsess about my looks and my weight especially; I was bullied very severely at school which sticks with me immensely; I have had very bad relationships before and my current one is my first 'mature' relationship; we are moving into a house together with our friends for our next year at uni; he wants to go to abroad for his 3rd year at uni which I hate the idea of.
Sorry it's long, but please please help me!