don't no what brought it all on?? anxiety and depression

[jenny kilden]

hi guys,

so it all started about 6 weeks ago - i had a panic attack for no reason with general anxiety that didn't go away - i honestly thought i was going mad - i made my mum take me to the hospital and they said it was due to stress anxiety etc etc.... and prescribed me diazepam - which i didn't take. it went on for another week and during that week i felt so low, i didn't want to go out, cried all the time - so i went to the doctors and she said it sounds like depression. so she put me on 10mg of citralpram - which i have been taking for 4 weeks.
the 1st few weeks were awful i was teary and not sleeping, the anxiety made me feel physically sick - i couldn't eat and have lost nearly a stone!! i used to weigh 9lb 4 now i weigh 8lb 5!! i have up and down days - mornings are usually the worst - as soon as i open my eyes I'm anxious!! why?!?!!? but by the evening i dies down and i feel ok. i feel myself getting anixious about things i would normally do everyday, like popping to the shops, or just looking after my children on my own.
i know a handful of people who have been through this and came out the other end, but when your feeling so low and anxious its sometimes hard to believe that il ever feel good again.
the worst things i don't no why this has happened to me just out of the blue. i have a good life with a loving fiancé and 2 gorgeous kids, great family, a nice house, I'm lucky enough that i don't have to work.
i just want to feel good again.
i have a doctors appointment on weds to up my cit to 20mg - which i think will work better. and I'm also starting cbt and counselling this week.

has anyone ever felt like this?? it makes me so sad and angry to think 2 months ago i was so happy and carefree and now I'm this wreck of a woman!! i feel like if it goes on for much longer wont be able to cope!!
please help xxx:weep:

[nomorepanic]

Hi jenny kilden

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[RedSky]

Hi Jenny, I can relate quite a bit to some of the things you've described!!! I have depression, although its been a lot more gradual for me than it sounds like it has been for you and largely brought on by other things, but when its really bad i've felt so scared that this time i'm going mad and really angry with myself because I've not understood why I have problems like that. Just wanted to say good luck with the counselling and really try to put as much as you can into it - a counsellor helped me understand/accept some aspects of the roots of my problems, even if you are still depressed that makes you feel as though you understand a little bit about what you are up against, and that makes it a bit less scary, sometimes, and helps you to try not to be angry with yourself as much. I hope that makes sense:)

[jenny kilden]

hey red sky
thanks for the reply. my depression seems to be under control its just my anxiety - for no reason.
looking forward to cbt tomoro and counselling on friday. going to up my meds on weds too which i hope will work.
hope your doing well x

[Valid and Not in Use]

Hi Jenny,

All the best with your medication regimen and counseling. The way you describe things I imagine you will work through it all and be just fine, and eventually wean off the cit.

I understand what you are going through... I began to get generalized anxiety after a period of sleep deprivation, which was itself probably a low-level anxiety period ramping up. And I could go into detail as to the various 'life pressures' preceding it, but what struck me in what you wrote is that you feel you live a good life and there is nothing particularly wrong -- and I can say the same for myself. It's just that these things, I believe, take on a life of their own and our attention to all the sensations are going to be a challenge to work with and shift out of. I truly think that having had panic attacks several years ago and recovering totally.

I hope the meds will give you a leg up, your counseling gives you insight and keys to heal, and that you try to go easy on yourself and train your focus on other things until that is the natural state again... because we aren't meant to go around worrying like this, I know how you feel. Take care -- Valid

[oh no_1]

hi jenny all the best,
i was on citalopram and it worked wonders for me.
u r good going to docs, took my friend to suggest it and she even had to come with me... but glad she did in the end.
depression is so tough and yes there are many ups and downs but coun selling is good, im still going a year and 4 months down line but getting longer inbetween sessions and it really good and am learning alot bout myself.... it interesting.

all the best
x x x