Hi, I'm new and I need help/advice, please, anyone.

[wok]

Just registered. Had a great life, til now. Been hit with a massive shock that has sent me into a spiral. Shock, disbelief, numbness. Suicidal, panic. 'Scared to death' to go on medication. Some ok days, some a bit better, then some so bad that I go to church just sit there with a bible on my chest, desperate so desperate. People have talked about citropan, cymbalta. Don't want the side effects, will it make me worse? I've just been to a hypnotist to try and forget. Been like it for a few months now, desperate for help and advice. Keep thinking that I'm going to wake up from this nightmare, it can't be happening to me, but it is. Sometimes, I wake and know it's gonna be a terrible day and I get scared. When I'm ok, I think 'that's it now', I'm ok but it's not. What can I do? Please help.

[diane07]

Hi wok

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Jenwales]

Hi Wok, welcome. Sounds to me like you should write down what's bothering you, maybe like a diary. Forgetting may not be the answer but accepting and moving on?
I don't know what's going on and I'm no expert.
I'm not exactly sure what's wrong, you don't mention your anxiety. Somethings are healed over time, you need to feel the emotion and move on. There are no quick fixes. Give yourself a break, you're only human and things will get better once you relax and let yourself process whatever is going on.
That's what I find, time is a healer, sometimes you just need to give yourself a break, listen to some relaxing music and focus on your breathing.
Again I'm no expert and i dont know if my advice is any good.
All the best. I hope you find the help you need, if you aren't seeing a doctor maybe visiting your gp will help. Or if your suicidal have you tried the samaritans?
Here's what I think of suicide: you've come so far in life, if you end it now all the effort and trials you've gone through will be for nothing. Again no expert. Just an anxiety sufferer

[wok]

Hi Jen, thanks. Not anxiety, I don't think, but severe depression although it does change, sometimes within the same day. I just wanted to get back to my old self, but, I've given up on that. I was always 'boucing' and this has taken be down. Would depression change within the day? I'm scared that I'll get stuck in the 'low hell', Never been like this and I don't like it. Thanks, appreciate your advice and anyone elses.

[Pipkin]

Hi Wok and a warm :welcome:

I'm sure you'll find loads of members here who share your experience and that you'll find it comforting to see that you're not alone.

Take care and keep posting

Pip

[celticlass62]

welcome to no more panic wok. i hope you will find this site very helpfull just like i have , i have made lots of good friends on here and everyone is here to help each other, hope to see you soon in the chat room . take gpod care wok . lots of love to you celticlass xxxxx:)

[wok]

Thanks Celticlass and all. Don't think I'll ever get back. Trying best not to use meds. Sleeping is ok. Just dreading 'the real bad day', just creeps up on me. Hits home when I hear people laughing when I feel soooo sad. Dreading taking meds, fraid of the side effects, holding off. Not sure how long to give it, been a few months now. Trying to hold on. Aaaagh

[wlizzie]

hi wok,
Would the side effects be worse than what you are already feeling? Alot of us on meds moan about the side effects ,me included, iv been on 20mg of citalopram for 4weeks now and had some crappy se but i also realised that many of the things i was feeling that i thought were se had actually been there before the meds aswell.
Talk things through with your gp :)