Kaya
18-05-12, 20:01
Hi everyone
Below is a post I made to an ocd forum - but it's also panic - in fact I think a lot of it is more panic than ocd in this occasion....
I'm having a real bad day - so if anyone is any good with 'travel panic' or 'event panic' - i'd be SO GRATEFUL if you could help me out if you've got the time to read the post below! and thankyou!!!!! I will read it tonight:-
Having a REALLY bad day. It's probably a mixture of my ocd and anxiety....
I have panics about getting ill, catching things, etc....mainly because when I feel unwell I go into a sheer panic - feeling like i'm going to die....it seems unlike other people i really cannot stand the feeling of being unwell, that is anything that involves nausea, faintness.....and unfortunately I witnessed someone die suddenly and I keep having that image going around and thinking that could happen too if i'm ill.
I'm particularly like this when I travel....
Today I returned from an event that is only 100 miles away because I was finding the whole thing 'too much.' Just everything from the numbers of people there, the queue for food....I kept having thoughts 'i don't have the energy for this,' and also i didn't sleep a wink so I was convinced that I would be feeling faint or sick by the end of the day ......so i left before that even had a chance to happen. :-(
I should go back tomorrow....I want to - it's just that as soon as I get there (it's a busy event) I feel like i'm in another world.....
My panic got so bad today that the wrist tag that they give you - i ripped it off because i felt claustrophobic with it around my wrist!
I thought once I got home I would feel differently, calm down a bit - I have a bit but not enough - nowhere near what I usually am.....and I have to go back tomorrow, I want to i've spent a lot of money on this event and I know it's good for me to push a bit harder.....tonight is my respite but to stay home is avoidance.
Can anyone help? Right now I could cry all night. It'sw not specific to ocd - although there's a bit of 'if i could only guaratee 100% that i don't get ill, then I could enjoy the event...' So i'm trying to get the certainty that Dr Grayson talks about...
thanks for listening :-( :-( :-( :-( (by the way i live alone - and I can't even call anyone because people are so judgemental about it - they just get more and more into the label and they are not helpful - so I don't want anyone to know....but it means i feel so alone)
Below is a post I made to an ocd forum - but it's also panic - in fact I think a lot of it is more panic than ocd in this occasion....
I'm having a real bad day - so if anyone is any good with 'travel panic' or 'event panic' - i'd be SO GRATEFUL if you could help me out if you've got the time to read the post below! and thankyou!!!!! I will read it tonight:-
Having a REALLY bad day. It's probably a mixture of my ocd and anxiety....
I have panics about getting ill, catching things, etc....mainly because when I feel unwell I go into a sheer panic - feeling like i'm going to die....it seems unlike other people i really cannot stand the feeling of being unwell, that is anything that involves nausea, faintness.....and unfortunately I witnessed someone die suddenly and I keep having that image going around and thinking that could happen too if i'm ill.
I'm particularly like this when I travel....
Today I returned from an event that is only 100 miles away because I was finding the whole thing 'too much.' Just everything from the numbers of people there, the queue for food....I kept having thoughts 'i don't have the energy for this,' and also i didn't sleep a wink so I was convinced that I would be feeling faint or sick by the end of the day ......so i left before that even had a chance to happen. :-(
I should go back tomorrow....I want to - it's just that as soon as I get there (it's a busy event) I feel like i'm in another world.....
My panic got so bad today that the wrist tag that they give you - i ripped it off because i felt claustrophobic with it around my wrist!
I thought once I got home I would feel differently, calm down a bit - I have a bit but not enough - nowhere near what I usually am.....and I have to go back tomorrow, I want to i've spent a lot of money on this event and I know it's good for me to push a bit harder.....tonight is my respite but to stay home is avoidance.
Can anyone help? Right now I could cry all night. It'sw not specific to ocd - although there's a bit of 'if i could only guaratee 100% that i don't get ill, then I could enjoy the event...' So i'm trying to get the certainty that Dr Grayson talks about...
thanks for listening :-( :-( :-( :-( (by the way i live alone - and I can't even call anyone because people are so judgemental about it - they just get more and more into the label and they are not helpful - so I don't want anyone to know....but it means i feel so alone)