H.A and relationship trouble

[gemjones85]

Hi

Just wanted to vent my feelings really. Ive suffered with PND and HA for 3 years - since my 2nd son was born, i have 18 month twins too and a 7 year old....

anyway my partner has become bad on cocaine and alcohol over the last 2 years (he takes all weekend- he thinks working all week justifies this) but its then the "comedown" to deal with, which with 4 boys is pretty exhausting. He doesnt help and understand what im going through, basically just says im a "crank", he takes advantage of my very good nature...... But tonight ive actually thrown him out! kept all his wages and turned the phone off!

Any advice on how to stay strong, last time i done this i had a total meltdown and its not fair on my children.... i dont know what i want - well Ive tried talking and had numerous promises made... only to be broken.

[Rach29]

Hi good on you he doesnt deserve you or your children if that is what he does, when you feel like caving in just think about what he done to deserve this its his fault your doing this to make life better for you and your children so stay strong obviously you have to speak to him sometime but tell him he cant carry on like this hes a responsible father and if hes not gonna put you or your children first tell him to do one you deserve better if you stay really strong it will hopefully give him the kick up the backside he needs :)

[Trish]

Hi Gem

First can I what you have done is brave and I think you are stronger than you think you are...so well done!

You have 4 boys who will thank you for it now and in the years to come. I can say this from my own childhood with drink being the problem, my dad would work hard and then think he could play hard. The only one that suffered was me and although I loved my parents I blame them for the way I am today suffering from HA.

I use to lie awake at night having to listen to the rows and thinking to myself 'if only one of them would leave,i wouldn't have to go through this'

So let your boys be your strength hun.

Be strong
Big hugs
Trish x

[gemjones85]

Thanks ladies...

Im feeling crap today, stomach has kicked off and im obsessing over stomach cancer now... i know what i need to do, this has gone on for 2 years... he frigs of for a weekend for a monthly binge (as well as doing it every weekend at home) - i really feel for my 7 year old, he understands and i dont deal with things very well.

Today were going to paint the hall ( well i am - gonna let him have a go!) to keep myself busy.

just need my stomach to settle and stay strong!

[london]

all cocaine dos is takes all your money and make you talk like a dope
you dont need some one on that round you
tell him to pack it in or go
god bless