bigG
21-05-12, 17:57
Hey,
Its been a while since I checked in or even looked at this web site, so I just wanted to check in and up date you all on my story. I want to first off say to those of you reading this page right now and are in a really bad way, that although this post may be in regards to myself feeling better at this moment, that I was once in that situation that you feel, where no words or advice or tears can errase the thought process of what you are thinking at this time, I would like to say that you will get better, and you will, but trust me I know that those words mean very little at this moment, but please dont give up and fight you are the strongest, stronger than doctors stronger than drugs and most importantly stronger than your thoughts.
My issues with anxiety and panic attacks and hypochondria all developed the very day my mother past away from cancer in 2008, ever since that day I was unable to live my life properly obsessed that I had a serious illness but offcourse I never did. Being in that thought process despite several people from doctors, specialits, councilers and mental health professionals telling me I was fine was the worst part, the more people said that I was fine the worse I became, I mean how could they say that I was fine because I know my body and this was the illest I had ever felt in my life, I must admit I hated every doctor and professional who said I was fine, I thought they did not take me serious, even now I still feel that the health professionals in the UK do not do the job properly, unless you go private and pay for it, but that argument is for another day. So eventually after several councilling sessions etc, they put me on medication, which I still take at the moment, mitrazipine, Iam not going to say that it was the best decision I ever made because I dont beleive in drugs, but they have helped me a little.
Ok so I know I have missed out on lots of things in the previous paragraphs but this is supposed to be about my recovery, first of let me tell you how I did this,excersise and focus.
I remember to this day how this began, I got so sick and tired of feeling like this, I sat down by myself for hours thinking why I was so depressed and scared of dying and why I was fixated that I was going to have a heart attack at any second, I looked at the whole situation and thought to myself, Iam going to change everything from this moment on. I stood up and dug deep in to my pocket and I chucked my packet of ciggrattes in the bin (I smoked 30 a day at this point) I went in to my fridge and chucked out all the cakes and coke and all that stuff and said im going on a diet(I weighed 19 stone at this point) and then probably the most important thing off all Iam going to put my heart thru the mother off all work outs I rememer thinking lets put this to the test and i took my bike when up a mountain for 10 miles it took me seven hours to get up and down, I can do it in 85 minutes now, any way my heart survived and after I got home I remember feeling the best I had felt for years, I had sat around for years in my bedroom smoking cigrattes ane eating shit all day but the exersice refreshed me, any way I now do this everyday, I havent smoked and I now weigh in at 12 and a hav stone I started this journey 1 year ago, this time ast year I was possibly like many of you are now feeling hopless and in a dark place but you can get over this just find something and focus, focus, focus mine was losing the weight, its amazing you just have to stop focusing on your problems and focus on something else, its hard I know but please try it although we are all diffrent our minds work in the same way and I know if I can do this then anybody can.
I guess the point Iam trying to make here, is that we all focus on the hope that someone or something can cure us from this illness, a doctor a drug a god, I feel that although many of these things can contribute towards this, the only thing that can cure us is ourselfs, we have to chnge our mind sets and we have to change the ways that we live our lives, challenge your self, see this illness as a challenge for you to overcome and please most importantlly do not rely on someone to make you better this will not work in the long run, you have to do this yourself, you can and you will. Iam not going to lie and tell you that Iam completely cured from this thing, because I still get spells of this, I just haven a diffrent attitude towards this thing now instead of saying oh shit iam going to die and I cant take this, I just say to myself come ahead take me down if you can Iam stronger than you, I dont treat this as part of me I treat this as something trying to attack me, I fight back now.
I hope this story can at least help one person and I will be happy, just remember if you are reading this story and thinking lucky for this guy and that he doesnt know how iam feeling, well trust me I do I really do, please message me or ask me if you have any questions, I aim to help people with this horrible illness, I dont know maybe hold some classes or something in the future for eople in my area or worlwide, who knows. So whats next for me, well I leave to travel the world in September and I also forgot to mention that I work again now, this is also a good thing keep your mind focus. Yes a anxiety suffere travelling the world no doctors no medication just me and the open road, as I say just throw yourself in the deep end and trust me you will prevail. I would also like to give a quick mention for this web site without doubt the best place on the planet for information that you need and help, I dont know these guys but the world could do with more people like this, people who help, people who care, people like us.
all the best G xx
WHAT DOES NOT KILL US WILL MAKE US STRONGER.
Its been a while since I checked in or even looked at this web site, so I just wanted to check in and up date you all on my story. I want to first off say to those of you reading this page right now and are in a really bad way, that although this post may be in regards to myself feeling better at this moment, that I was once in that situation that you feel, where no words or advice or tears can errase the thought process of what you are thinking at this time, I would like to say that you will get better, and you will, but trust me I know that those words mean very little at this moment, but please dont give up and fight you are the strongest, stronger than doctors stronger than drugs and most importantly stronger than your thoughts.
My issues with anxiety and panic attacks and hypochondria all developed the very day my mother past away from cancer in 2008, ever since that day I was unable to live my life properly obsessed that I had a serious illness but offcourse I never did. Being in that thought process despite several people from doctors, specialits, councilers and mental health professionals telling me I was fine was the worst part, the more people said that I was fine the worse I became, I mean how could they say that I was fine because I know my body and this was the illest I had ever felt in my life, I must admit I hated every doctor and professional who said I was fine, I thought they did not take me serious, even now I still feel that the health professionals in the UK do not do the job properly, unless you go private and pay for it, but that argument is for another day. So eventually after several councilling sessions etc, they put me on medication, which I still take at the moment, mitrazipine, Iam not going to say that it was the best decision I ever made because I dont beleive in drugs, but they have helped me a little.
Ok so I know I have missed out on lots of things in the previous paragraphs but this is supposed to be about my recovery, first of let me tell you how I did this,excersise and focus.
I remember to this day how this began, I got so sick and tired of feeling like this, I sat down by myself for hours thinking why I was so depressed and scared of dying and why I was fixated that I was going to have a heart attack at any second, I looked at the whole situation and thought to myself, Iam going to change everything from this moment on. I stood up and dug deep in to my pocket and I chucked my packet of ciggrattes in the bin (I smoked 30 a day at this point) I went in to my fridge and chucked out all the cakes and coke and all that stuff and said im going on a diet(I weighed 19 stone at this point) and then probably the most important thing off all Iam going to put my heart thru the mother off all work outs I rememer thinking lets put this to the test and i took my bike when up a mountain for 10 miles it took me seven hours to get up and down, I can do it in 85 minutes now, any way my heart survived and after I got home I remember feeling the best I had felt for years, I had sat around for years in my bedroom smoking cigrattes ane eating shit all day but the exersice refreshed me, any way I now do this everyday, I havent smoked and I now weigh in at 12 and a hav stone I started this journey 1 year ago, this time ast year I was possibly like many of you are now feeling hopless and in a dark place but you can get over this just find something and focus, focus, focus mine was losing the weight, its amazing you just have to stop focusing on your problems and focus on something else, its hard I know but please try it although we are all diffrent our minds work in the same way and I know if I can do this then anybody can.
I guess the point Iam trying to make here, is that we all focus on the hope that someone or something can cure us from this illness, a doctor a drug a god, I feel that although many of these things can contribute towards this, the only thing that can cure us is ourselfs, we have to chnge our mind sets and we have to change the ways that we live our lives, challenge your self, see this illness as a challenge for you to overcome and please most importantlly do not rely on someone to make you better this will not work in the long run, you have to do this yourself, you can and you will. Iam not going to lie and tell you that Iam completely cured from this thing, because I still get spells of this, I just haven a diffrent attitude towards this thing now instead of saying oh shit iam going to die and I cant take this, I just say to myself come ahead take me down if you can Iam stronger than you, I dont treat this as part of me I treat this as something trying to attack me, I fight back now.
I hope this story can at least help one person and I will be happy, just remember if you are reading this story and thinking lucky for this guy and that he doesnt know how iam feeling, well trust me I do I really do, please message me or ask me if you have any questions, I aim to help people with this horrible illness, I dont know maybe hold some classes or something in the future for eople in my area or worlwide, who knows. So whats next for me, well I leave to travel the world in September and I also forgot to mention that I work again now, this is also a good thing keep your mind focus. Yes a anxiety suffere travelling the world no doctors no medication just me and the open road, as I say just throw yourself in the deep end and trust me you will prevail. I would also like to give a quick mention for this web site without doubt the best place on the planet for information that you need and help, I dont know these guys but the world could do with more people like this, people who help, people who care, people like us.
all the best G xx
WHAT DOES NOT KILL US WILL MAKE US STRONGER.