Terrified After Hospital Appointment

[fluffygeordie]

Hi,
This is my first post although I've lurked for quite a while as I've had health anxiety for a few years. After counselling and self help I managed to overcome my anxiety and have been living relatively calmly for the past few months, until now.

Last week I went to the optician after having blurry vision in one eye and was sent straight to Eye Casualty. After much examination there, the doctor said I had a lot of bleeding inside my left eye which he suspected to be a retinal tear, but it was difficult to see and to go back a week later.
I returned to the Eye outpatients today and the doctor examined me. He told me I had a lot of blood in the eye and couldn't see properly and took me through to see the 2 most senior consultants in the department. They both looked and all conferred and have told me that they suspect it's an underlying medical condition causing my eye to hemorrhage, they also said that it's starting in the right. I had lots of bloods taken and now have to wait to see the consultant who specialises in eye/medical related conditions. I asked if it could be serious and they said that "yes, it's potentially serious".
I am absolutely terrified and shaking. I am now convinced I have terminal cancer or a brain tumour and my daughter is going to grow up without her mummy.
Having spent months working to get over my health anxiety, I feel back to square one, I don't know how I'm going to get through the next few days/weeks until the test results and appointment. :weep:

[swgrl09]

Hi, I am very sorry you are going through this frightening experience. You must be scared stiff. I don't know anything about the symptoms/conditions you might be dealing with, so I can't offer much help there, but try to take some solace in the fact that you are doing everything you need to do right now. If it is something, at least it has been found and you can now focus on treatment. I know that does not help much, but I hope you find out good news soon. Try to get out and keep busy if you can. I know how hard it can be waiting for results for something that has the potential to be serious. You are doing the right thing though, and it sounds like you have the right doctors on your team.

Please keep us posted!

[Want_to_break_free]

yes please keep us posted ... I am a fellow HA sufferer and would be in pieces in your shoes... you're showing great strength of character ... Have they said what they suspect it may be?

[maz55]

You are coping brilliantly, dont know if I could, and at least they are dealing with it, so that is a positive, take heart though that if (IMO) they had spotted a tumour they would have had you in straight away, plus think these days they have to cover themselves, just in case someone sues them.Chin up and hugs

[fluffygeordie]

Thank you all, I'm trying to keep busy, but it's just horrible when your mind is whirring around and thinking horrible things. I will keep you posted and I'm doing my breathing and (trying to do) positive thinking thing....

[Anxious_gal]

Whats the plan?
Are you getting more tests? Mri etc?
Whats actually wrong, because it's really common for blood vessels to burst in your eye, sneezing or rubbing your eye can cause it to happen.
So maybe they are just looking into the worst case scenario to be on the safe side?
When they figure out what is wrong they will be able to fix it.
Even is it is something scary to be honest cancer and tumors are fixable these days so even in that case the chances of something very bad is again is very slim.
I'd be soo freaked out too and it's so hard not to worry :(
But you will get through this, even if you have bad anxiety it's not going to harm you in any way x
I hope you find out soon whats wrong and how to fix it :)

[london]

the retina has nothing to do with cancer
try not to worrry
god bless

[Jules147]

It sounds like retinopathy. Diabetes and high blood pressure are common causes but it can just happen, at least this is the reason why, despite having background retinopathy, I have been taken off the diabetic retinopathy screening register after my diabetes receded.

It is usually treatable with laser surgery.

[stressybessy]

By saying it could be 'potentially serious' the doctors probably mean a condition which could lead to permanent eye damage if left untreated, it doesn't indicate they suspect cancer or anything terminal. Hope you get it sorted soon x

[Jules147]

By saying it could be 'potentially serious' the doctors probably mean a condition which could lead to permanent eye damage if left untreated, it doesn't indicate they suspect cancer or anything terminal. Hope you get it sorted soon x

+1

[Diva]

I agree, I would think they mean a potential eye problem most of which are fixable.
Stay strong, you are doing really well!

[meche]

Hi hun - I would be absolutely terrified in your shoes but you are showing amazing courage and being very brave. I'm sure everything is fine but you are in the right with the right people. Let us know how you get on - (((((big hugs))))).

[fluffygeordie]

Thanks guys, all your replies really help.
One of the doctors from the hospital just called me and said they want me on the ward on Monday for further tests (they said the clinic was full for months and they want to see me quickly :scared15:). They want to inject a dye and take photos of the back of the eyes as well as more bloods and possibly a scan.
The reason I worry about cancer is because the doc yesterday said that they suspected this was caused by an underlying medical condition.
Scared!

[Emira7]

Oh just sending you some hugs.

I am glad that they are seeing you quickly, just think by Tuesday you will have a better idea of whats happening.

Is there any way you can have a break, get away, do something that may even take your mind off of it for a nano second.

Positive thoughts for you OK......

Em
x

[stressybessy]

'Underlying medical condition' could be anything from high blood pressure to diabetes. Remember that doctors are aware of hundreds of different medical conditions - most of them treatable - but those of us with HA immediately just think of the C word. The reason they seeing you quickly is probably because they realise you need some form of medication to stop the bleeding and they can't do that until the tests are complete. :hugs:

[fluffygeordie]

Thanks, trying to keep busy. Worse today cos the hospital just rang and changed the appointment to Tuesday so even longer to sweat about it :weep:

[miss sparkle]

+1

+ 2 x x

---------- Post added at 18:58 ---------- Previous post was at 18:54 ----------

ps, i would try and be encouraged with them moving it back, i know its hard to be positive as we ha sufferers dwell on negative, that's why we are as we are.
I agree, they May of ment serious as in eye sight damage, not life threatening.
Is there anyone you could call to perhaps talk to them again as when you are stressed, you don't always listen to what they are saying and can sometimes come away really confused x x

[fluffygeordie]

Thanks, my mum was with me at the appointment this week so heard everything too (though she gets anxious too so that's not always great!). I'm too scared to actually ask them what they're looking for, but my husband will be with me on Tuesday and he fully intends to ask questions to see what we're dealing with. He's a really calming influence too.

[gemjones85]

just want to wish u the best of luck xXx - i thought tho that if cancer was suspected they had to tell u, as in say the word cancer....

XXXX big hugs X

[fluffygeordie]

Thank you, I'm glad it's only 2 sleeps away, the waiting is driving me insane xxxx

[miggymoggy]

Just wanted to send you lots of love and say am thinking of you I agree with the others that when they say "underlying medical condition" they probably do mean diabetes or something like that. I have never heard of your symptoms and I have a friend who has eye cancer, and her symptoms were NOTHING like yours. I promise.
When they say potentially serious, they probably mean they want to make sure they fix before it affects your eyesight.
Try to keep calm and do please let us know what happens.
xxxxxxxx

[fluffygeordie]

Thank you, I doubt I'll sleep tonight. At least tomorrow I should have a better idea of what they're looking for and at least you can deal with something when you know what it is....

[fluffygeordie]

Well today I spent from 9am - 5pm in the hospital having extensive tests. It looks like I have an immune system disease and it's attacking the good cells causing my eyes to bleed, although potentially serious it's treatable, they have just had to run tests to check my kidneys and lungs aren't being attacked too. I'm so relieved that it's something they can deal with. What's also good is that all the health problems the doctor have said are 'nothing' or my family have thought I've been imagining can be attributed to this condition - I've not been exaggerating or being a hypocondriac, it's just not been discovered until now. I won't know all this for certain until my next appointment when today's test results will be in (July),I'm SOOOOO tired after all this stress, but I feel I can get on and live my life now.
Thank you for all your support (it just shows you that sometimes, just sometimes there is reason to be anxious) xxx

[stressybessy]

Well done for surviving a difficult day. You must be so relieved that it is something treatable and as you say, explains other symptoms you have been experiencing. Good luck with your treatment I hope it leaves you feeling much better. x