tell me what to do

[Pinkcasi]

ok so i finally gave in and am off work, i cant get in to see the dr until next week though and im a bit numb in the brain, i know i should be doing stuff but i cant, i managed to get up and shower with the intention of going out to get some bread but i just find myself sitting watching telly, the kitchen looks like a bomb site but i cant do the washing up, i want to go sit in a pub garden and wash it all away but i cant, i feel restless yet exhausted.
I look perfectly normal on the outside but inside i feel dead.

[littleredhen]

ok, this may be an unpopular answer (so apologies in advance). I don't much agree with taking time of work and giving in - in my experience it just makes it SO much hard to get back into work afterwards - you could end up dreading it. So, as soon as you've seen the doctor and got your meds sorted, my advice is to get back to work asap before the downward spiral gets a hold. A rest might be just what you need.

On the upside! the rest of my response/answer is (and, of course, it can only be personal and subjective - so I am not telling you WHAT TO DO!):

I have found that the days I get like you are describing, I am just EXHAUSTED with it all and, so what if it's sunny out and everyone seems to be out enjoying themselves. Let them get on with their thing, while you look after yourself. Perhaps you do need to just have a rest, lie on the sofa, keep yourself hydrated, eat comfort food and sod the housework. Order takeaway delivery if you don't the energy to go hunting and gathering. When you've regained some energy, start small. Stack the dishes to be washed and do them one at a time if that's all you can face. Go to corner shop for small items. If you find yourself panicing, then do something that calms you, have a bath/shower? wash your hair? massage your own legs or something. Let yourself weep and wail - I usually sleep quite well after a good crying session. This is YOUR time and it's no one elses business.

If you can concentrate - then read or listen to music while doing some other form of occupational therapy - can you find something to do with your hands? knitting, drawing, writing, crafting? I find detailed and complicated fiddly things help me to keep my mind busy. if not, then TV is good - but don't watch anything miserable or Jeremy Kyle (cos that will make anyone want to kill themselves in despair!). You could always try the chat room here. I've used it rarely, but it generally does help you to not feel alone.

[Pinkcasi]

I agree with you on the time off thing that's why ive been struggling into work for months but i have to admit that it's too much, like you say sometimes you just need a rest, im hoping that i can go in next week then im off fri so that's 2 short weeks maybe that'll be enough, i just don't want to go back to work too soon and freak out, everyone there already thinks in a weirdo i recon.
As for the rest, im trying to just chill but i feel like i should be doing stuff, hopefully the boyfriend will do the washing up when he gets home, one can hope at least, and dont dis the Kyle ha ha it makes me think at least my life isnt That bad ;)

[Firehead]

What sort of jobs do people have? If I can't do mine near 100% then I can't risk doing it at all!

[littleredhen]

What sort of jobs do people have? If I can't do mine near 100% then I can't risk doing it at all!

I admit, mine is low pressure, but must be accurate and timely (legal).

[Pinkcasi]

I work in an office and tbh i can get away with doing next to nothing as i have been for the past few weeks, im not saying its not important, oh who am i kidding it really doesnt matter whether im there or not, im not helping or doing anything worthwhile.

[sazmo]

It was my job that caused my latest bad episodes. The fact I stuck with it is what caused my latest breakdown. All depends on your situation hun.
Getting away from it all for a few days might help

[Cathyt]

Getting to see your GP is important as he/she can refer you to counselling or even prescribe medication for you. I know what it's like not wanting to do anything or go anywhere but since I've started my meds. I'm actually getting through the day a lot better and not panicking so much. You may need to take time off work to get better but your GP will help you there. Just be honest about your situation. Good luck, Cathy

[Pinkcasi]

Ok so i saw he dr today, i have na appt with My dr next week but i couldn't wait till then i really couldn't, this dr said he didn't want to raise my dosage as what im on is pretty hefty (20 mg cit really?) but he signed me off for a week till i see my dr so that's goo at least i get a break to chill and focus.