i need reasurence/advice/help??

[sharn93]

I'm 19 and I started suffering anxiety back when I was a kid. I also suffer depression(started during my first pregnancy(2010) and the developed into postnatel depression.. also recently got diag with O.C.D(intrusive thoughts)during my second pregnancy last september time after some disturbing thoughts.. I'm so down its un real? I'm hoping for some support of people who are experiencing the same things, right here goes my latest obbession (what I think it is) is that I got Alzheimers, I was sat with a friend last night when "I said god, I'm always forgetting" and she turned round at said Alz as a joke, well its triggered my anxiety and ocd! ..I'm going back and thinking about all the times I've forgot stuff, like this one time I was in asda and I thought I was in a different store, also I muddle my words up.. And this morning I completely forgot what time I woke up and what I done until me partner started giving my hints :/ ..I hate this, I'm convinced I got it now! I find myself writing the wrong words and even saying simple easy questions in my head to see if I've forgotten them, I've also been like this with cancer/thinking I don't love my kids/my partner, also had disturbing sexual thoughts and thoughts about my sexuality when none of it were true! I'm on 50mg of stertraline a day. Loads of people have said I'm being silly about the Alzheimers thing.. What u guys think? Pleaseee reply, going crazy here :/ x

[rockydog]

Hi, you just sound like you have an awful lot on your mind to me. You are 19 and have had 2 pregnancies and have your conditions to deal with. You must have an awful lot going on in your head at the moment, i expect that is all it is, and undoubtedly tired ?
I dont know how you are sleeping, but lack of sleep alters how people think and react, there have been many tests on people with lack of sleep and it is remarkable how badly their concentration and memory is.
when i was first unwell i did exactly what you are doing with your memory and its very frightening. It started with walking into a room and forgetting why i was there, then couldnt remember if i had rang someone back, or whether a conversation i thought i had was real. I have also come out of shops and wondered where i am or where we parked. However it went away with reast and recovery. The more you try and force it and test yourself the worse it gets, the thing with the other more serious conditions you are worrying about is that usually other people would notice them before you.
Try not to worry (silly comment i know lol ) x

[sharn93]

Thankyou so much for replying! Yes you are right, I am so tired and worn down, i get 5-6 hours at night because of my newborn then I wake up to a hyper toddler :roflmao: I just gotta keep going and put a fake smile on atm. I'm fed up of worrying about my health and these stupid conditions! I'm off to the docters monday to have a chat and my other halfs coming as he's thinks I'm a hypercondriac now(well he have done since we've been together) :/ ..one thing after another with me! but thanks again you've made me relax after reading your post :)x

[rockydog]

That's ok glad you feel a bit better. You really do have a lot on your plate anyone would be warn down and if you have a new baby your hormones will be all over the place. Even before a period people can be very forgetful and confused so its not surprising you feel like that now. You are probably managing much better than you realise. I have a daughter of your age that cant organise her own washing and food at university let alone anything else lol. You are doing really well :) If you could get more rest and be easier on yourself im sure you would feel much better.
Anxiety is definitely far worse with tiredness, mine is a lot lot better now, but if i dont sleep well i wake up with a racing heart and feel very jittery and un able to concentrate.
Do speak to your docter to reassure yourself but im sure its all to do with your life style. Hope you feel better soon x

[sharn93]

Hi again! I still feeling the same :( feels like the worlds going slow kinda thing and I still convinced I got alz! I keep trying to remember stuff which have happened today.. For example.. Packing. The babys bags.. I'm trying to remember what I packed and when I put it in there and I can't remember! But I can remember packing it today! Is this because I'm trying to force myself!? I just wanna cry, feel like I'm going crazy :'( xx

[mumof5]

hi hun,you have got alot on your plate at the min i too suffer with anxiety and depression, to be honest it seams that forgetfulness is one of the systems with depression.i have to write everything down or put appointments in my phone im that useless at remembering them.i also do funny things like put the kettle in the fridge instead of the milk lol. i laugh about it now but for a very long time i got so mad with myself and felt so stupid.please dont think you are going mad.from talking to many people on these sites its norm to forget things and do silly things when u suffer with depression.however sometimes i think the medication we are on sometimes dont help .im on 40mg of citalopram.i noticed your going to the doctors today or have already been .i hope that goes/or went well .in regards to your partner it is good he is going with you and giving you support.it may help him to understand it better by going with you .


wishing you well :) x

[rockydog]

You will find you cant remember the simple mundane things you do as you do them with out having to think about it. If i sat and thought about the breakfast i made or the cup of tea i wouldnt be able to actually remember each bit. You dont need to remember those things you are saving your memory for important things as you have so much on your mind. Have you heard people say i drove to town and cant remember half of the route ? i do that lol dont worry about it, you are just trying to concentrate and test yourself when you dont need to. If something was very wrong with your behaviour or memory those around you would notice ? blame it all on those baby hormones and gradually it will improve.
You are managing your babies arent you so all is well x