Tell family or keep it secret?

[June83]

I am in two minds at the moment about whether to share this with my parents or not. My husband knows everything of course but I have been keeping my depression/anxiety hidden from my parents for years. I have never liked the idea of burdening other people with my problems especially when I know it will just worry them and there is nothing they can do anyway! However I am on medication now and the positive effects it is having on me is definitely going to raise some questions from my parents! (If I am being honest my mum seems to see everything and has probably know about this for years as well!) Does it help to share or do you just feel worse for burdening others?

[ewood79]

It definitely helps to share but yeah I guess if your on top
Of things and you don't want to worry them then I guess it's your call...

Keep up the good work!

[Pipkin]

June,

I suppose it's about pros and cons. I would always encourage people to share as I feel loved ones could feel cheated if they're not included in something you're going through and they could really help. On the other hand, it depends on your parents' situation. I don't share my anxiety with my parents as I think they have enough to cope with and I can manage ok. If things got really bad though, I think I'd have to ask for help. Sounds a bit selfish, I know, but the opposite is my intention.

Take care

Pip xxx

[kittikat]

When I first suffered anx/panic a few years back, only those very close to me knew (children/partner) I felt like others, including my parents would see it as some kind of weakness and not understand what I was going through. Over the years I had bouts of ups & downs, all kept well hidden. I eventually had a breakdown last November and suddenly everyone in my family had to know. To be honest, for me it was the best thing that happened, my mum said she kind of knew anyway and my dad and siblings were so supportive and really tried to understand what was happening to me. Now, if I can't go out or if I shut myself away, they sort of get why. I don't have to make up all those stupid excuses I did in the past and I find that they are trying hard to see things from my eyes and they make allowances or change arrangements so that I can be included. They don't always 'get' me, but just not having to hide how I am feeling is certainly much better for me. Put it this way....if someone very close to you had similar issues and you didn't know....then they shared it with you, would you judge them or feel they had 'burdened' you? I don't think so...I think you would do your best to help and understand what they were going through. Only you can decide, but in my opinion, it was a blessing and a relief for me. Good luck!!

Kitti :)

[June83]

I know my mum spends hours at night worrying about my sister (redundancies and other related money issues) (maybe she should start taking my tablets too!) My worry is this has been going on for such a long time and I have always pasted on a smile and adopted an everything is great attitude. I know mum will be disappointed I had not shared earlier!

[Beckybooboo]

Hi,

I feel that speaking from experience sometimes it is better to confide in your family as they will be there to support you on your journey through anxiety/other issues.

In other views, sometimes it may not be the best time to tell your family about your issues due to the stress that your parents are going through at the moment, but, with them being your parents and with the greatest respect intended you need to be able to grow and be able to speak to people.

I have a blog www.beckybowerenspiller.wordpress.com and there are guides on there about speaking to people about your issues including family and friends.

I wish you all the best of luck,
Becky