View Full Version : new here - huge cancer phobia-welcome all advice
hello everyone - so glad i found this - dont feel as alone and good to know that others know how dibilitating these anxieties can be. Over the past 10 years, I have thought I have had every cancer you can have, in the past 4 months I have gone from bladder cancer, to kidney cancer, to testicular cancer, and now I'm worried about stomach cancer. Logic tells me this is so irrational, but I cant stop shaking. Today I saw my doctor (whom I have been seeing for 15 years and trust deeply)and he assured me I dont have stomach cancer - felt great after the appt now I'm shaking again cause my stomach wont stop hurting. I wish I could stop this cycle - I want my life back. Seeing a counselor and on some medication but no relief yet. Thanks for listening.
Hi Kevin,
Welcome to the site. I, too am a cancer worrier; although, my fears lie more in the neurological arena brain tumors, etc. Stomachaches are a classic symptom of anxiety. So many people have them. Think about it, stress causes us to tense everything, which is why us HAers have so many random aches and pains. Problem is, what most people would chalk up to "normal" things, cause HA people in their hyper body awareness to be convinced they have some some deadly disease. Please don't feel like I'm discounting anything you're saying as I do EXACTLY the same thing. I just want to let you know that you're not alone, and the problems you're having are most probably related to anxiety, rather than stomach cancer. Take care.
xxx
April
Hi KevinM,
Even though I can't offer any advice about this particular phobia, having never experienced it for myself, I just wanted to assure you that you're amongst friends here. From what I have learned in my short time since joining this site, everyone cares about each other and any phobia/query/problem/insecurity will be taken seriously no matter how great or small - that's a silly thing to say really cos we're all here with the 'great' rather than the small but I hope you'll know what I mean though?
Welcome 'home'
Best Wishes
B Wolf
xxxx
brentor_wolf
hi,
i am a new member too and also worry a lot about having cancer. as you can see you are definitely not alone. i would recomend sophie's posting (if you haven't read it already) about what i now call 'reassurance-addiction'. also the article here about health anxiety Health Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=healthanxiety) was something i found very helpful. if you manage to get some rest i am sure your stomach will eventually stop bothering you. all our stomachs are like that here!
lewis
Try and join a cbt group. They have several exercises that help teach you how to interrupt your thoughts and build new pathways with more objective less upsetting thoughts. I recently finished my group and it has been life changing for me thus far. The tea form thought countering exercise is really simplistic but amazingly effective. Good luck!
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"> also the article here about health anxiety Health Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=healthanxiety) </td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
I've just read this - what a great article - and so true.
KevinM. I too have cancer fears ever since losing my dad two years ago. Now every ache or pain I get, I think I'm getting cancer, however by coming on this site and learning that I'm not alone, does help.
Just to add, when my brother gets stressed, he gets terrible stomach pains. The brain is a very powerful organ and somehow capable of mimicing many illnesses when we're stressed, ie tingling, aches, pains
Hi Kevin,
I also suffer the cancer phobia. I've had health anxiety for over 10 years. Just like you I've diagnosed cancer in all parts of my body from my head to my toe.
Hope we can be of some help to each other
Take Care
Mandy
xx
I too suffer from "that" phobia. See I can't even say the word. One day I sat down and made myself a list of every type of cancer I think I've had. It was eye opening to see the list; basically every part of my body. Yet to this day I still continue to have those fears with every twinge I feel. Its something I've come to live with as difficult as that is. I do find that when I ocuppy my mind with other more productive things, working out, etc that those fears and symptoms disappear.
Hi Kevin, as you can see you are not alone. me too, if I have anything remotely wrong my immediate though is cancer. I've had all sorts!!! But i am still here. As has been said the brain is very powerful and can create things from nowhere, never mind the symptoms of anxiety/fear and panic, no wonder your stomach is so sensitive.
Take care
Daisybun
'This too will pass'
This is all sounds eerily like me. I had every cancer in the book and it is amazing how our minds can take over and drive us into phobia mode if we let it.
pinkpenny1uk
25-07-06, 00:12
hiya,
u def not alone in this.
i only started with panic/anxieity last dec but since then i've convinced myself i've had a brain tumor ,stomache and bone cancer. my latest which i am panicking about at the mo is breast cancer.
i just wish i could stop this anxiousness but nothing has fully taken the feelings away.
all the best
pp
oh kevin i know what this self torture is like, but the meds and councilling will give you some hope as will knowing that you are far from alone
take care
jackie
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">hiya,
u def not alone in this.
i only started with panic/anxieity last dec but since then i've convinced myself i've had a brain tumor ,stomache and bone cancer. my latest which i am panicking about at the mo is breast cancer.
i just wish i could stop this anxiousness but nothing has fully taken the feelings away.
all the best
pp
<div align="right">Originally posted by pinkpenny1uk - 25 July 2006 : 01:12:41</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
You may want to give cbt a try. It takes effort but is helping me a lot. Now that I know how to interrupt my anxiety causing thoughts and replace them with more objective thoughts my anxiety levels have dropped considerably. Best of luck to you.
Hello...
I have just discovered this forum this morning and wished I had found it sooner! I have recently moved away from my home town (possibly the underlying cause of why iam anxious) and since i have been living here (3 weeks) I have visited the doctor 3 times. Origially I went with lower back ache and he put me on anti inflamatorys and co-codamol. A week later i went back because it had not improved and he put me on trmadol a strong pain killer. This made me panic even more because it made me drowsy and not in control. Iam going back again this afternoon because i still dont feel well. I have scanned the web and given myself everything from bladder cancer to names i cant even pronounce! For me it is a vicious circle, I convince myself im not well and in turn i get aches and pains that i develop in my head to something deadly.
Lynn
lyneti, you must be my twin. Separated at birth?
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hello...
I have just discovered this forum this morning and wished I had found it sooner! I have recently moved away from my home town (possibly the underlying cause of why iam anxious) and since i have been living here (3 weeks) I have visited the doctor 3 times. Origially I went with lower back ache and he put me on anti inflamatorys and co-codamol. A week later i went back because it had not improved and he put me on trmadol a strong pain killer. This made me panic even more because it made me drowsy and not in control. Iam going back again this afternoon because i still dont feel well. I have scanned the web and given myself everything from bladder cancer to names i cant even pronounce! For me it is a vicious circle, I convince myself im not well and in turn i get aches and pains that i develop in my head to something deadly.
Lynn
<div align="right">Originally posted by lyneti - 01 August 2006 : 14:38:20</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Welcome Lynn:D In case you did not see my above notes you may want to try cbt. It teaches you how to interupt those thoughts and feel better. I finished my cbt group but I still do the tea form exercise almost everyday and I am making bigger strides than I have in a long time. Good luckk to you and again welcome.
saranadine
08-08-06, 20:25
Hi Kevin,
I know how you feel, because I also think that way, I am not as bad as I used to be but I still have those thoughts, and it is horrible, Its reassuring to know that we are not the only ones who feel this way, and I think that coming on here and "meeting" people who feel and think the same way as we do, makes us feel not so alone or over the top if you know what I mean. Trying to talk to family or friends , for me anyway is so hard, because they seem to be thinking God last week she thought she'd got this and now she thinks she got that.
When i told my doctor about my worries he said that it is possible to convince yourself that there is something seriously wrong with you, and you have to change your way of thinking, but thats easier said than done. He told me once that there was this woman who used to go to see him every week with a new illness that she thought she had, and one week she even went in to see him and said that she had been reading a magazine and it listed all of her symptoms, and she had convinced herself that she had got prostate cancer, the doctor explained that this was impossible as women don't have a prostate, and she did'nt believe him, so I suppose that we can convince ourselves of anything at times.
Take Care
Sara
S N Mayson
Cancer is my big worry too. Right now I have got lower back pain and I am convinced I must have something serious. It can't just be that I've got a bad back can it? In the past I have been worried about cancer of the lungs, breast, brain etc etc. I am absolutely terrified of it and when I notice a new symptom I automatically go to this.
Once you learn to look at these fears objectively you can begin to see that you are working yourself up and causing yourself more harm than good by the way you are reacting to the physical symptoms. One point that was made in my CBT group was that if you have a pain in your left arm and think 'heart attack' you will naturally panic, but if you think I must have strained a muscle you won't panic and can get on with your life. Learning to think in an objective rather than subjective way can alleviate a lot of our stress and anxiety.
lola pagola
16-03-09, 10:41
hello all..gosh and i thought i was all alone I suffer from cancer phobia quite badly since losing my mum to breast cancer..like a lot of people i think im riddled with it..like now..i cant make my mind up is it ovarian or bowel..lol..i have a great gp who knows me so well..and bets his house regulary i dont have cancer..maybe i didnt then but now...i cant stop myself from googling symptons..i know its the worse thing to do..but then im worried to go to the drs in case he wants me to have test..in my mind he then suspects there is something wrong..grrr its a vicious circle.im hoping being here will help me a little bit xx
justbananas
16-03-09, 15:10
welcome aboard - being here will help! feel free to post anything you're contemplated/worried about.. and while we don't necessarily have the answers, people will chime in on what they've been dealing with and it helps you put things in perspective.
Hi Kevin! Welcome aboard from another cancer phobic! :welcome:
I've had ......... breast, mouth, bladder, brain, ovarian - you list 'em, I've been certain I've had them. And joking apart - the mental torment is unspeakable.
I keep feeling better and something knocks me back. At moment I'm as bad a ever but I keep reminding myself that as long as I'm prepared to keep getting up, I'm not knocked out.
I can 100% recommend this site - everyone is so understanding. You can say anything you want, however stupid you might feel it it is - and you'll get support and people saying "oh gosh - me too!!". I come here everyday and I think it's kept me sane. [It's certainly kept me from driving my partner insane!]
Welcome again to you - and thanks X1000 to all the folk on here who help so much!:flowers:
i also have this fear, not just about myself but my children too, its a nightmare. I feel really stupid and think hat the doctors must think i'm totally neurotic. I have found this website to be very helpful and reassuring.
Hi Everyone!
I am also new and like you, am also terrified of cancer. At the moment, I have almost convinced myself that I have cervical cancer due to the Jade Goody "effect" and all the constant press and media attention about it. I recently lost a male family member to cancer only a few weeks ago, so this has compounded it. If I feel a small lump on my skin, my first thought is "it's cancer!" when it's just a spot or something. It's dreadful living in constant fear of this.
I suffer from cancer phobia as well. Can I ask if there was a traumatic event that caused your anxiety? I know it was my mothers passing as a result of cancer that triggered my health anxiety.... for which I now see a weekly bereavement counsellor.
I have this and it too has being fuelld with the Jade Goody thing. When it started,I had a pelvic infection and on the same day I got antibiotics for it,my friend told me her best friend had lung cancer which fuelled me even more cos he is a year younger than me and I can't even think about it too much cos lump in throat feeling is returning. :'(
It is GOD AWFUL to live like this and it's ironic cos worrying about dying is harming the time we have actually living.
:( In the past 2 weeks,I have had cervical,colon,bladder,kidney,breats,lung,throat,t ounge,ear and now ovarian and intestine and I can't get it out my head that if I go on about it I jinx myself. :'(
And I am scared to go back to doc now because my pelvic pain has came back and I've lost weight but I look 4 months pregnant and I think she is getting fed up with me :'(
xxxxxxxxx grouphug is in order I think for everyone! xxxxxxxxxx
Mudskipper
18-03-09, 13:53
And another on! 19 years on and off I've been worrying myself sick with this and I've concluded it's a part of my personality I just can't get rid of entirely. Not helped by the fact that everytime I flick through a magazine, paper, teletext or just watch the news there seems to be some other celebrity diagnosed with it. Last night it was Dave Prowse, Darth Vader to those who haven't heard of him, admitting that he had prostate cancer. Nowadays I just accept the bad days and enjoy the good days. Sorry I can't be more positive...:unsure:
Yep - I absolutely agree Mudskipper! I was saying this to my husband - every single time I read the news, some celebrity has been diagnosed with cancer. I too read about David Prowse and said aloud, "There's another one - everyone has cancer!" I have to try and not read the news - very hard because I read it every day as I like to know what's going on. I think for people nowadays, and unfortunately for those of us who suffer with anxiety, there is simply TOO much information. My grandparents never had this level of information - they would just get the daily paper, most of which was full of boring news at the time - they didn't have the celebrity culture which we are now bombarded with. If they had a pain in their side, they didn't have access to something called "the internet" where they could quickly look up their symptoms and then read that they have 24 hours left to live. They just ignored it and went about their business. We just have access to way too much information. As my Grandfather used to say, "What you don't know, can't hurt you." I think there is much truth in that.
Vanilla Sky
18-03-09, 14:38
Welcome to NMP , you will find a lot of support on here, maybe see you in chat sometime Love Paige x
messed up mom
16-06-09, 11:26
Hello...
New person here, I can't believe that there are so many people who feel like I have for sooooo long now. Since I had my kids, I can't stop fearing that I will lose someone to this horrible disease. Every time my boys have a swollen gland, thats it, I go into over-drive. The paediatrician actually made me look at my 5 year old to see what a beautiful, healthy child I have and suggested to me that maybe its Mom who needs a little help.....my GP referred me to counselling but it was group and not helpful. I ended up feeling like a fraud....there were so many others there with serious mental health issues. Now I am waiting for my own routine 3 yearly sm. teat results and am already imagining the worst and am scared for my kids.... I'm already crying writing this. I have had bad lower back pain for ages now and am convincing myself I have ovarian cancer, last year I had a mole checked out that I was convinced had changed, needless to say that one was fine. I'm exhausted with all this whirling round in my head 24/7 and wis that I could take my batteries out sometimes.
I'm so glad that I'm not alone in this.
Thanks.
Jackie x
messed up mom
16-06-09, 11:31
Sorry, have just read my post back and made myself laugh for once... I meant sm. TEST results, I bet I've just confused everyone. Jackie x
Like everyone here... I'm exactly the same. I also do the google search symptoms and rarely does it make me feel better.
The worst part is when I hear about someone diagnosed and immediately afterwards I start feeling the symptoms of this kind. For example, a couple of weeks ago a friend was telling me about how her friend found out about her mouth cancer. The following day I had an ulcer and freaked out. I went to my dentist and he looked at me in astonishment that this is the reason I've visisted him. I later got a lip sore (thought of lip cancer) and now I have a little mole in my gums which adds to the fear thats still alive! I know that if this friend hadn't told me the story, I probably would have let all this pass without the anxiety, but then again I think, what if this mole is really a symptom I must see the doctor for.
I've gone to the doctor before because of a mosquito bite (which wouldn't go for a week) which made me think its a lump. I've gone to the doctor because I get dizzy (so many kinds fit this criteria) and it ended up being part of the anxiety. Needless to say that I've thought I have every kind of the disease and in one hour, could go from brain to breast to back and then to stomach!
The worst part is between getting a symptom and visiting the doctor because sometimes that could be days, which I spent in my room with a massive feeling of dreadness. I feel like I'm trapped in a black hole and I want to stop feeling that way but I can't. And everytime I decide I'm not gonna live my life this way because cancer will then kill me without even getting it, but then I think, what if this is the symptom that I should go to a doctor for? How do I draw the line between something important and something thats not. I guess this is how people with depression feel. I want to sit in the dark the whole day and wait for death and I can't talk to my family about it because they've been under enough pressure taking me from one doctor to another. This has been going on for almost a year now, but its getting worse by the day. Now its a daily thing after being a weekly thing. Some of the people here say its been going on for 10 years, which is something I really don't want to go through. I'm a very happy person at the time when I don't think there's something wrong with me, but otherwise (which is becoming very often), I don't recieve calls from people and I shut myself out of the world. I'm still 27 and I don't want to live my life in fear.
I had a mole develop randomly in my left armpit for no reason a few years ago, i never got it looked at as i was too scared, then i started to lactate there, in my left boob for no reason, that went away, now i have found a lump in my left boob, and im terrified :( I also seem to have a small lump in my throat and i have been getting strange twinges there
Hi All.
I am 34 years old, married with 2 children (3 and 5).
This year a friend of ours died from Lukemiea (he was 31) and another friend of ours (same age and family situation) has hodgkins and has basically been sent home to die.
I work as a graphic designer in London and feel constantly stressed at work, me and my family are trying to relocate to kent as well and my wife and kids are living down there during the week (so they can start school and get used to it etc!) so I only see them during the weekend which makes me incredibly lonely and I tend to dwell on things. The fear of leaving them scares me so much.
About 7 months ago I was very stressed at work and I got so dizzy and faint that I had to go and lie down. I blacked out and was very worried. Since then I have had a private check up and all results came back good. But I cant shake the feeling of dread thats inside me. Ive had all sorts of symptoms (Bad stomach Dizzyness, trapped wind (pain), chronic bad back, throat closing up... to name but a few) and the doctors keeps telling me its health anxiety and has put me on Citalopram (10mg) which today is my 6th day so I havent eaten much and have lost a bit of weight (DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE CANCER!.. as loosing weight is a symptom AGGGGHHHH!). When does the drug start to work and I have the option of going to 20mg a day, should I?
Can anyone please give me some advise. I have just stared Hypnotherapy but apparently CBT is better for Health Anxiety.
Any help would be grateful and look forward to chatting to some fellow worriers!:) :yahoo:
sarahsarah
21-09-09, 17:01
I am so happy I am not alone in this. Over the past six weeks I have been convinced I have had lymphoma, breast cancer, leukemia, brain tumour, cancer of the spine, to mention but a few. My headaches were excrutiating and I was spending upwards of three hours a day googling my symptoms. I eventually went to my GP who diagnosed me with an infection which had manifested itself in in my ear and throat and prescribed my antibiotics. My headaches all but disappeared almost immediately and my infection is on it's way out. I think I have got past this first serious bout of HA and really don't want to have a second, it stopped my life for over a month and the way I made myself ill shocked the h*ll out of me.
The only good thing to come out of any of this was finding this site and reading all the marvellous words of support. I am determined not to have another HA attack and I hope you and others can overcome it as I did, hopefully for good xx
Hi guys,
I am new here, and I just wanted to say what a huge relief it is that others feel the same way that I do.
I am the same as many of you here. Any little lump, bump or pain sends me into a flat spin panic.
I think my phobia started nearly 5 years ago when I found a lump near my spine. I feared the worse and had two days before I could get to see a doctor. In my mind I had cancer of the spine. I would have surgery and probably end up in a wheel chair. Failing that it was a secondary site and I needed to start planning my funeral. When I saw the doctor it turned out to be a fatty lump!
Over the years I have visited the doctors so many times that I have convinced myself they don't look at me properly anymore. In my mind I have had a brain tumour, mouth, throat, skin, breast, bone, lung, bladder, bowel, colon, cervical, stomach, ovarian...There are probably more too!!
I went to visit the dentist yesterday because I have two lumps in my mouth. One which gets bigger and harder but then goes back to normal under the bottom of my left jaw line and another on the back of my top right gum inside near the soft pallet. He said he couldn't feel either but is going to refer me onto the hospital because I used to smoke. As you can imagine my mind is running away with itself and panic has set in.
It is beginning to affect my relationship with my finace and Mum too. They are sick of me panicing and asking them all the time if something is wrong.
Let's hope they find a cure to cancer very soon so we can all get our lives back. xxx
Hello,
I am new ot the site. How are you now? What did hospital say?
Angel
OMGosh! I really thought I was the only person living this nightmare. I too have an immense fear of cancer. Every single time I have an ache or pain I have some sort of cancer. I am really making a conscious effort NOT to google symptoms because I don't care WHAT you put in there it ALWAYS returns results about cancer. Not good for those of us suffering from this fear.
MOMINPANIC
28-01-10, 18:35
I think I have always had anxiety issues to some extent or another. I think it has just gotten worse over the years, espcially after my son was born.
I never really thought of myself as having a cancer phobia until a couple months ago when I found a huge lump in my throat. The first doctor I saw, I think thought I was crazy and pretty much told me it was normal, when I knew that wasn't normal for me. I went and saw my PCP about a month later who told me my thyroid gland was swollen, but didn't feel a distinct nodule, so was thinking it was a goiter. I had an ultrasound which did in fact show a large nodule on my thyroid. This is where my cancer phobia all started. I had it biopsied, and it came back benign. During this time my grandpa died, as well as an aunt, neither of cancer, but it still hit hard. My cancer fear subsided somewhat and then my mid back started hurting. I did some online research, which of course the first thing I see is that this could be a sign of metastatic lung or breast cancer. I was afraid to see my doctor about this. I am a medical transcriptionist for the health care company I go through, so I am terrified about coming across a report that shows I have cancer. It is a huge fear of mine! So, I made an appointment with a chiropractor instead, who did x-rays and my back is just kind of messed up from years of computer work.
So, did that put my mind at ease? Oh, only for a day or 2. Years ago I went to the doctor because of lumps in my breast, and they told me I have fibrocystic breasts. It has never really bothered me, but now I have become obsessed with the fact and am convinced that these lumpy breasts are not normal. I made an appointment for a physical tomorrow and am terrified she is going to find something on my breast exam. I have been overly doing my breast exam, especially in the "extra lumpy" part to the point where I have bruised myself; that is how obsessed I am about it. I am terrified she will want to do a mammogram for whatever reason and something will show up on that. I am only 35, BTW. It doesn't help though that there was just something on TV about someone who recently died from breast cancer at the age of 37, and a distant family friend who is 28 was recently diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. I do have a family history in that my paternal grandmother had breast cancer twice, but no history of breast cancer on my mom's side; however, both my mom and grandma (mom's mom) have had a history of breast cysts that have been biopsied. In any case, I am absolutely terrified for my appointment tomorrow. I haven't been able to sleep, have emotionally shut down, and am in a state of panic.
I finally broke down to my husband last night and he is really great and supportive, given the fact that he has had cancer 4 different times - testicular cancer 3 different times and melanoma once. His father is also going through his own battle of colon cancer. I felt bad breaking down in front of him given all he has gone through, but at the same time I think he understands better that way.
It is just nice to find a site where people understand what you're going through. I know that everyone has to die at some point, I think my biggest fear is just dying young when all I want out my life is to watch my little boy grow up with me around, and I'm so afraid that cancer is going to take me away from that. Before my PCP starts any exam tomorrow, I am going to explain to her my anxieties and maybe she can help me in some way. I noticed a couple of people mention CBT therapy (or something like that)? Can someone please explain to me what that is. Thanks for letting me vent, I just hate feeling like this and having this cancer phobia take over my life.
iworryallthetime
29-01-10, 08:01
Hi MIP .
You are so not alone , i feel for you i really do , im exactly the same :-((
I to have a fear of C totally ... i think every time i have something its the worst case of it ....
for me the only way to feel better is always to see doctor specialist for reasurance ....
you doing the right thing going to your doc again , im sure they will be able to put your mind at rest .
I am off today to a dermatologist im convinced i have skin C ...im terrified .... i went last year end October to this clinic and had total mole scan , saw dermatologist ,all fine, but recently i had little smudge spot type thing right next to a sun damage bit on my face ... its not sore ,itchy,angry red at all , half of me thinks its judt a spot, the other convinced a type of C ...
but i keep trying to tell myself ...if it is ....better to know now and do something about it I HOPE , than keep worrying and worrying ....i feel sick all the time with the anxiety ..worry , its as though i have a good angel on one shoulder saying its ok ,its not raised , itchy , bleeding etc ,
and another bad devil on the other saying , oh no its not its C ..ha ha ha ..
hope your appt goes ok Today for you..
cross also i never used to be like this ..........grrrrrrrrrrrr health anxiety ....
paranoidroid
09-03-10, 21:03
I have just found this site and already feel better...for around 4 years i have spent my days in turmoil..i havent seen a doctor for over 6years due to fear of just walking in and being told i have cancer, ive had a lump on my foot for over 3 years which im sure is cancer i cant look at my foot or touch it.even though my friends tell me if it was cancer id be dead by now, my new fear is cancer of the anus if you can even get that just because i have a small lump there which has been there all my life...Ive nearly killed myself because i cant deal with constantly dwelling on this, my first thought in the morning is cancer and i even dream i have it....
I have no idea what to do.
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