CBT - right for me?

[david_10]

Hi, i've been referred to CBT but am unsure whether it's the right thing or whether it will work for me.

If you have time to read over it i have outlined below...:blush:

After quite major social conflict and a long term relationship breaking down i attended several counselling sessions for depression. Within a couple of months of these sessions i had made noticeable progress with rationally weighing up the problems and clearing my head on several occasions... but unfortunately every week i would return to tell my counsellor how i'd re-triggered certain upsetting and destructive feelings of inadequacy, week-in week-out, and could not seem to let them go.

After discussing these triggers she noticed a pattern that formed. Since being a child i was always known as a 'worrier'. After delving in to some of my earliest memories there were many instances that stuck in my mind where i would chronically worry about things; usually irrational fears, often (but not always) revolving around relationships or sex; and would often speak fearfully to my parents about strange and sometimes unsuitable subjects for my age. There were no particularly upsetting or traumatic experiences as a child we could pin point as a cause of this, my family life was a stable and happy one.

i have always had a passionate and often (positively) obsessive nature and have lived with this slight anxiety all my life; just considering it to be a small down-side of being such a passionate (and perhaps 'deep thinking') person at heart. we discussed a lot of metaphorical situations whereby she could take away the worry... i realised i couldn't picture life without having something to be anxious about, it unnerved me to not have anything in the forefront of my mind to worry about... "if everything seems ok... somethings got to go wrong" ... worrying or feeling the need to hold some sort of fear in my mind at all times has become a sort of strange 'comfort blanket'. she asked if she could click her fingers and take it away, would i let her?... the answer was 'no'... i was too unsure what it'd be like to have it any other way.

Although i originally approached counselling to discuss depression and rock-bottom feelings of inadequacy due to a long term relationship and several friendships breaking down; my counsellor quickly realised that i could actually work out most of that stuff for myself. I had come to her several times having rationally sorted things out and coming out of the depression as it once was, but then i cannot seem to stop the dark and destructive feelings returning sporadically. It became apparent that i have developed a process of having to 'test' myself mentally with stresses, fears or negative thoughts. i will frequently be unable to stop such thoughts taking over my mind, even though they are often things i cannot control; or ideas i have previously 'battled with' and worked out. It is as if i have the need to feel the hurt or sadness connected to the idea again to check if it's faded (- it never has, but i never learn). until this point in my life the problem of worrying had rarely taken me over completely, but due to these recent incidents it had manifested into an obsessive need to discuss quite destructive and upsetting ideas with myself.

My counsellor concluded that there was no need for me to continue discussing the actual subject of the relationship breakdown and social conflict that had occurred as it was actually now irrelevant in many respects; but instead learn how to handle this 'chronic worry' process i have seemed to develop. She referred me to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as a way of managing this.

can anyone elaborate on their experience of CBT in relation to this sort of behaviour? do you think it is right for me? from reading up on experiences of the treatment i find it unnerving to some extent, i enjoy being someone who thinks deeply and has strong and passionate feelings, i just need to be able to break to cycle of re-living the negative ones!!

thanks for taking to time to read over this!! :unsure:

[david_10]

anyone? ... i've got an appointment with my GP next week to discuss, would anyone have any input on my situation?

thanks.

[gabrielle37]

Hi David,

i have not had cbt myself but after reading your post, you have nothing to lose by giving it a go, in fact you could gain a lot. ive only had councilling and it really helped me. if it is a chance to make your life complete again then i say give it a go. wish you all the best whatever you decide xx

Lesley

[Clarinha]

Hello David,

I've had CBT sessions for anxiety issues and they've helped tremendously. CBT will help you to challenge your thoughts and to gather evidence against your worst case scenario by gradually exposing yourself to the situations (or thoughts) you fear. It will also teach you to accept setbacks and to put in place a sustainable plan to gradually challenge yourself.
What I would say is, give it a go and see. CBT is a treatment that has been scientifically proven to work for many people suffering with depression and anxiety. The one thing I would say is, go prepared to put in a lot of effort, the whole thing about CBT is that it gives you tools to help yourself so it's all about challenging yourself gradually. It won't delve into your past experiences like other kings of therapies would and in a way, I think that's one of its pluses because a few sessions can really make a difference.
There are many brilliant books about CBT and I would recommend having a look at a couple of those if you're intrigued about CBT or if you want more than just a few bits of info you can gather from the web. The books I have found the most helpful are: Mind over mood - change the way you feel by changing the way you think and cognitive behavioural therapy for dummies.

Hope this helps, good luck!

Claire

[david_10]

thank you for the replies, especially for the book recommendations; much appreciated.

it is something i have always lived with and mostly ignored, sometimes it can actually be constructive... often it can take the form of persistent stress due to things i must remember or goals i want to meet (i'm a constant list-maker), so it can be a good thing sometimes! but all too often the stress/pressure is well out of proportion to the actual issue in hand, and due to recent events it has taken hold of something with a particularly negative and destructive nature that stops me from getting on with life in the way that i should.

my counsellor had said that since my depression was better; i could continue regardless and improve that part of my life, meet someone else etc and let the negative feelings fade... but this thought process would likely be something i always had, and if i could try and tackle it now it would allow me to better deal with such things in the future.

i have to write an introductory letter to my GP because i have never seen her before (she is a specialist in mental health so should be experience in this hopefully), and have got the backing of my counsellors to be referred on to CBT. i am extremely willing to put in the work if it can stand me in better stead for the future to avoid these 'automatic thoughts'.

i will keep you updated! thanks again.

[david_10]

I am now on the waiting list for CBT treatment.