my girlfriends wanted to go on a break

[davexdurham]

Hey sorry to put this on everyone but im finding it hard to deal with. Last night my girlfriend decided she wanted to go on a break mostly because of the problems I have in everyday life due to anxiety.

She knows ive been trying to get the help but ive been waiting for cbt for 7 almost 8 weeks now. I dont know what to say or even do to try and win her back? She said she still wants to see me because im her best friend and she loves me but she just doesnt want the label because its too much pressure.

I dunno if thats just an excuse or what and its driving my mind and body insane.

[notsogood99]

Aw, sorry to hear that. I think unless she has suffered with depression before then she probably just doesnt understand and the easiest way for her is to run away!
Prentend its not happening!

Can you talk to her easily?

[losin]

the only suggestion i can make is to put your feelings for her in a letter and maybe give her links to this or other sites that explain what life is like with a mental illness as so many people just don't get it.
if she's made her mind up then nothing you can say or do will change that and in the long run you need someone who will support you, not run away.
hope things work out for you both :hugs:

[Anxious_gal]

What is going on a break?

Talk to her honestly, make her feel safe enough so she'll open up and let you know how she feels.
Figure out what is wrong and see if ye can compromise.

[Beckybooboo]

Hi,

I know exactly how it feels when your other half wishes to go on a break. My boyfriend called one between me and him and it honestly feels as if it's the worst thing in the world at the time.

The only thing that I can suggest is to let the break happen. I did and I feel so much better for doing so. Me and my boyfriend are now building bridges and each day were getting there.

I know it's difficult but sometimes you need to take other peoples feelings into account and do what the other person wants for a short while, thus allowing yourself to find YOU again and allowing a little breather between the both of you, allowing you both to be happy.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this.

All the best,
Becky

[selphie]

some people just cant handle it when you have anxiety they just dont know how to deal with it.

before i was married i had a couple of relashionships that couldent handle the pressure of my daily panic and worry.

if you really love her and you dont want to lose her tell her how you feel.
i would be upfront and ask her why she really wants this and if it is down to your anxiety or if it is an excuse.
you will feel better knowing the truth.
hope you feel better soon and you work it outxxx:)

[davexdurham]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I have spoke to her and she still wants to "see me" its just the pressure of being in a relationship she doesnt want. She has said its not so she can be with other people so ive just got to trust that and if she does get with someone else it was obviously just her saying it to make herself feel better.

She said alot of it is to do with my anxiety due to not being able to go out and enjoy a meal or do things last min (both set off my anxiety). I guess if I can get some help while we are on this break she will see how willing I am to try.

I just really think waiting for this course of cbt is going to end the best thing ive ever had in my life. I cannot complain more about how long its taken from going to the doctors.

[selphie]

like you say if she does meet someone least you will know.
saying that tho she will have to understand that you cant switch your anxiety off and on.

im always waiting with my doctors took bout 3 months from going to the docs to get my appointment with a cardiologist.
i think that when your suffering things should be a lot quicker good luck with bothxx

[swgrl09]

Hi, you said you are waiting for CBT? Maybe when you get it, she can come with you to a session. In my experience with anxiety and my own relationship, sometimes the therapist has a good way of explaining what the anxious person is going through in a way that the partner can understand better. It has been very helpful bringing my fiance to therapy with me once in a while.

[davexdurham]

Turns out shes properly broken up with me now as its "better for me"
I couldnt be anymore gutted my anxiety is at an all time high and ive been sick twice. So gutted.

[purplesky]

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's really tough with anxiety because it restricts us so much. I can only empathise with you because I am in a relationship but it does come under severe strain quite often because of exactly what you said, i.e going for a meal, last minute plans..sometimes I'm not sure it will last tbh.

It puts a lot of pressure on things for both parties I think. I hope you can take some time to get over this by talking to friends, family, people on here. Best of luck to you.

[davexdurham]

thank you I wish I could make it different but id rather know than be lead on I guess. Im just going to have to try and deal with it as hard as that might be.

[timefortea]

hey dave, i've had similar experiences. losing a girl is really really hard when you have an anxiety disorder. My advice is stick to those you love and avoid alcohol or any other substances. When i got dumped awhile ago it took awhile and shit loads of panics but i survived and understand that sometimes these things are for the best. As always with anxiety, it will pass, and you have to remind yourself of that. anxiety will not control us and we will overcome it. Alll the best, and stay strong. x

[losin]

nothing i can say right now will make you feel any better, just to let you know i'm thinking about you. be nice to yourself for a while, don't blame yourself for what's happened. you've done everything you can and i wish you well when the cbt happens. :bighug:

[selphie]

sorry to hear that.
not very nice to deal with that aswell as your anxiety hope you dont get to downxx:weep: