Help I don't know what these urges meant? :(

[hopehope]

Okay so i suffer from Pure O with is a form of OCD which focuses on obsessive thoughts. Well recently i was on a night out with a friend who actually has the same condition and when we got back to hers, i was staying over, we were just in bed talking and its happened before where i get intrusive thoughts like 'oh i really want to kiss her' or 'i wish she'd kiss me'. I then wake up in the morning and i torment myself over cause its like i was willing to cheat on my boyfriend. I really don't understand what these thoughts mean. When i wake up i'm like thank god nothing happened because when sober i would never want it to. When i did keep getting these intrusive thoughts i'd like start to argue you with myself and say 'no you don't want that' but then i'd think 'yeah you do'. I just don't know if this is normal cause i feel so guilty. Its not even the fact it was thoughts about a girl its the fact at the time i was 'contemplating' cheating if that makes sense? I just keep fearing that it isn't relating t my ocd and that it was all real and i thought it because i wanted to? Does this sound like classic pure o because it seemed so real at the time, like i was convinced?

[nomorepanic]

Hi hopehope

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[lauz_lea]

Hi hopehope
First, let me reasure you that it's not unnatural for us women to be attracted to our close female friends - I have a few friends I wouldn't mind snogging the face off, but of course I wouldn't (I'm married and would also feel like I was cheating on my husband). I don't know how old you are, but we all question our sexuality at times too, paricularly when we are in our teens and early twenties.

I suffer with pure O too, although my thoughts centre around other things, but the thing to remember is you never acted on your thoughts, and there's probably a lot to be said about the fact that you'd been drinking - we lose our inhibitions when we've had a few and feel and do things we wouldn't normally.

Try not to let this thought bother you any more than you had the thoughts, you'd had a drink, you didn't act on your thoughts AND your friend would probably understand if you spoke to her about it. I know its easier said than done, but even for those without pure O, its not unusual to have thoughts like this.

[hopehope]

Thank you lauz_lea

Its just my mind keep replaying the situation and making me feel guilty that at the time my thoughts were saying that I was willing to cheat on my partner and I wanted something to happen i even thought 'would my boyfriend class this as cheating'. I just don't understand why I would think like that because I am always so afraid of cheating its one of my obsessions that I have a fear of making mistakes in my relationship and i feel i let myself make yet another mistake by being willing to cheat if that makes sense?

[lauz_lea]

Honestly Hope, it something that a lot of people think at one time or another, we make close relationships with our friends and some feelings can be very confusing. BUT it is normal and natural to have such thoughts and feelings, and it's normal and natural for them to bother you.

I'm taking a guess that you're in your late teens/early twenties, and may not have had thoughts or feelings like this before, but believe me, it's nothing out of the normal and nor is the guilt and confusion that goes with it.

I know that wont help put your mind at rest, but it really is normal