Wanttofeelbetter
01-06-12, 00:09
Hi All,
I just need to discuss/chat with people who experience similar things really, sorry for such a long message (think its therapy in itself)
Basically I am a nurse and last year was accused of something which I was later acquitted for and I got an apology from the department, I attended counselling, but only once as I moved departments and just wanted to move on.
I lived in total panic for two weeks during this time, was convinced I had lost my job and that I was a terrible uncaring person, even though I now realise I was made to feel this way by bullying managers behind the big managers back.
Anyway, I had my apology and moved on but the person who wrongly accused me had no disciplinary and no matter how hard I try I cannot seem to move on from this.
Around the time of this I had pulse 115/120 and saw G.P took meds to calm me down for a few days, propanolol which just made me ill pulse of 45...
I've since moved areas, got new partner (he is lovely) and new job which I love, got great family and friends who are possibly the only thing keeping me this sane!
My anxiety/panic seems to have re-surfaced, no idea why...
It prevents me from horse riding (I had to sell my horse after the initial problems.)
I have convinced myself that I am not enough for my partner and feel like he would prefer someone else, even though he is loving and has put up with my up and downness. He tells me he loves me constantly but I can't help panicking that he prefers how others look.
I panic over decisions at work, this is improving though.
My chest hurts as Im typing, darent take my pulse!!
I cry a lot and feel like this woman ruined my life, I also say stupid things which upset my partner as I have moments when I panic and need reassurance, such as your looking at her or your watching that only because such and such is in it. Makes me feel very pathetic because I wasn't like this when we met but I know if he replied in the way I want I'd be fine. He understandably just gets upset and I shouldn't have to rely on his guessing what response I want. He says he is walking on egg shells and I hate it :weep:
I had bloods in the week to see if its a physical thing as I've lost 7 pounds in 2 months despite MASSIVE appetite and no exercise due to injury!!
If anyone has had similar due to a trauma/stress and would like to chat please get in touch. Funnily enough I have an interest in mental health and often get told I have good advice for others which I cannot follow!!
Hope to hear from someone,
Me x
I just need to discuss/chat with people who experience similar things really, sorry for such a long message (think its therapy in itself)
Basically I am a nurse and last year was accused of something which I was later acquitted for and I got an apology from the department, I attended counselling, but only once as I moved departments and just wanted to move on.
I lived in total panic for two weeks during this time, was convinced I had lost my job and that I was a terrible uncaring person, even though I now realise I was made to feel this way by bullying managers behind the big managers back.
Anyway, I had my apology and moved on but the person who wrongly accused me had no disciplinary and no matter how hard I try I cannot seem to move on from this.
Around the time of this I had pulse 115/120 and saw G.P took meds to calm me down for a few days, propanolol which just made me ill pulse of 45...
I've since moved areas, got new partner (he is lovely) and new job which I love, got great family and friends who are possibly the only thing keeping me this sane!
My anxiety/panic seems to have re-surfaced, no idea why...
It prevents me from horse riding (I had to sell my horse after the initial problems.)
I have convinced myself that I am not enough for my partner and feel like he would prefer someone else, even though he is loving and has put up with my up and downness. He tells me he loves me constantly but I can't help panicking that he prefers how others look.
I panic over decisions at work, this is improving though.
My chest hurts as Im typing, darent take my pulse!!
I cry a lot and feel like this woman ruined my life, I also say stupid things which upset my partner as I have moments when I panic and need reassurance, such as your looking at her or your watching that only because such and such is in it. Makes me feel very pathetic because I wasn't like this when we met but I know if he replied in the way I want I'd be fine. He understandably just gets upset and I shouldn't have to rely on his guessing what response I want. He says he is walking on egg shells and I hate it :weep:
I had bloods in the week to see if its a physical thing as I've lost 7 pounds in 2 months despite MASSIVE appetite and no exercise due to injury!!
If anyone has had similar due to a trauma/stress and would like to chat please get in touch. Funnily enough I have an interest in mental health and often get told I have good advice for others which I cannot follow!!
Hope to hear from someone,
Me x