help!!

[tuckshop]

HI THERE,

I WONDERED IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME, MY MUM HAS BEEN HAVING PANIC ATTACKS FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE OF YEARS, SHE SEEMS TO HAVE GIVEN UP ON LIFE, SHE WON'T GET OUT OF BED, HASN'T EATEN ANYTHING FOR 4 DAYS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY TO MAKE HER EAT SHE'S NOT HAVING ANY OF IT, DOCTORS JUST KEEP SAYING THERE'S NOTHING WRONG, AND FOBBING HER OFF WITH MORE PILLS, THAT JUST SEEMS TO MAKE HER WORSE. SHE ISN'T DRINKING ANYTHING, IF SHE DOES ITS MINIMAL, THE MORE ME AMY DAD TRY THE MORE WE GET PUSHED AWAY AND SHOUTED AT.
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, ADVISE ME ON WHAT TO DO.
THANKS

[nomorepanic]

Hi tuckshop - glad to see you have posted here as I am sure a lot more people will offer advice now. The FAQ section cannot really answer such queries in great detail as the reply is limited in size.

It seems to me that she needs more emotional support than just drugs. The doctors are not helping her by fobbing her off with new pills. She would benefit more from some counselling of some sort.

Would she get out of bed to go the doctor's and ask for some support/counselling?

Nicola

[Meg]

Hi Tuckshop,

How awful for you both to see her like this. She's probably got a severe depression kicking in here. Many people will term this period of non functioning - a nervous breakdown. Many people have them and fully recover speedily once they're being treated appropriately.

On a physical level for her you need to get in contact with her GP soon and get them to come out and assess her - hydration wise and nutritionally as she will develop electrolyte imbalances that can potentially get dangerous if she continues not to drink or eat at all.

For the panic and depression she also needs to be professionally assessed. I would push the GP to do an urgent referral to your local community psychiatric team who will visit fairly speedily for someone like her. Every area has a team so don't get fobbed off.

If you don't get any joy from your GP team ring NHS Direct and explain the severity-especially the non drinking bit- usually gets people moving.

It is possible that if she continues like this she may need to be admitted to sort out meds and get her on a schedule.

If she's still shouting at you then remove any potentially dangerous objects from where she is and keep dropping in on her room very regularly but make them shorter visits so not to upset any of you so much. Try to put some happy family photos within sight and when you're in there don't argue/plead with her - insist on talking about positive things. She can just listen whilst you and Dad talk if she doesn't want to join in.

It's a very tough time for you all. Let us know how you're doing.

Meg

[tuckshop]

HI ALL,

THANKS FOR YOUR REPLYS I DO AGREE SHE NEEDS TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE MORE PROFESSIONAL, I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO CONVINCE HER THAT ITS A GOOD IDEA, THANK-YOU VERY MUCH.
SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT SHE VENTURED OUT OF BED THIS MORNING, AND SAT ON THE SOFA DOWNSTAIRS, SO MAYBE THINGS ARE CHANGING.
THANKS AGAIN.

[nomorepanic]

Tuckshop

That is good to hear. Just try to keep her busy and give her support and encouragement.

I would still take Radar's advise on getting some help for her though.

Let us know how it goes.

Nicola

[sarah]

Hi tuckshop
Just a few encouraging words.
I went through a stage where i wouldnt leave the bedroom, couldnt bear to talk to anyone, i wouldnt eat and would only sip minute bits of water and i lost about 2 stone in 3 weeks! Everyone was so worried but i wouldnt listen or get help. My mum started buying me "fortisip and fortijuice" from the chemist which i think are drinks with vitamins etc in them which at least got me getting some nutrition.(i panicked when i swallowed and was too fed up to bother so my mum even came round with home made stews which she blended up like baby food to get me to swallow something). I wouldnt listen to my husband or family and it was only a close friend who eventually coaxed me out of bed.
Now I am on the road to recovery and with a bit of help from medicaton and councelling i am now able to go out on my own sometimes and am considering finding a job.
So you see it can get better!
Love Sarah
xx

[bishop]

hi tuckshop
take each day as a new day dont rush her please believe me some times trying too cope with a small problem like locking the door is a big step,take it easy,ive heard all the well you could do that before why not now,time and talk is the best,and please dont think any thing is silly ,too her it is not.
bish

[tuckshop]

HI ALL,

MANAGED TO GET MUM TO DOCTORS FOR BLOOD TESTS, HOPEFULLY SHOULD GET RESULTS BACK SOON, MAYBE THAT WILL SHINE A LIGHT ON THINGS.
THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE, IT'S VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

[Meg]

Hey Tuckshop,

Glad to hear that she's up and about, hopefully feeding herself too a bit better.
We look forward to hearing how she is and how you and Dad are doing too.

Meg

[bishop]

hi tuckshop
glad too hear your mums had tests how are you,did you no if your mums over 70 she can have free transport too the hospital also if she has a disablity she can have DLA and you can get carers allowance for her.
bish

[nomorepanic]

Hi tuckshop - I am so pleased to hear that. Please let us know how it goes.
Nicola

[tuckshop]

Hi Everyone,

RESULTS FROM MUM'S BLOOD TEST HAS COME BACK AND EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE O.K
SHE'S EATING A LOT MORE THAN BEFORE, SHE SEEMS A BIT BETTER IN HER SELF, WHICH IS A RELIEF. MUMS ONLY 49 SO I DON'T THINK SHE QUALIFY'S FOR FREE TRANSPORT, I DRIVE SO I SUPPOSE THAT IS CLASSED AS FREE TRANSPORT.
MUM'S WAITING FOR A HYSTERECTOMY OPERATION, NOT SURE HOW YOU SPELL IT, BUT I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, SHE'S GOT A FIBROID THE SIZE OF A MELON GROWING INSIDE, AND HER WOMB HAS DROPPED, SO THEY HAVE SAID IT'S EASIER TO REMOVE EVERYTHING INSIDE, I THINK WAITING FOR THE OPERATION, HAS BEEN A BIG CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM.
I'M HOPING AS SOON AS SHE HAS HAD IT DONE, THEY SAID HER LIFE WOULD BE BETTER, WE'VE BEEN WAITING MONTHS FOR A CANCELLATION, THEY ARE HOPING IT WILL BE AROUND CHRISTMAS TIME.
I THINK ALL THE WORRY HAS BEEN HER GOING INTO HOSPITAL, AND GOING UNDER THE KNIFE, SO TO SPEAK. I CAN UNDERSTAND HER WORRY, AS I WOULD BE TERRIFIED, HAS ANY ONE HAD THIS OPERATION, AND DID YOU FEEL BETTER AFTER, ANY INFO ON THIS WOULD BE GRATEFUL.
THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT,
TUCKSHOP

[nomorepanic]

Glad to hear that all is ok Tuckshop and that she is eating better too.

I expect that it could be caused by all the worry of the operation etc - I know it would worry me!

Let's hope that they get her in soon and it helps things.

Take care

Nicola

[Meg]

Hi Tuckshop,

So pleased she is on the mend.

Fybroids are non maliganant (hurrah) overgrowths inside the womb or actually growing within the wall of the womb and hysterectomy is definately the treatment of choice once they get that big.

As she is so young some of her issues may be surrounding having all her reproductive organs (femininity) removed.It's very common that ladies find this hard to accept and deal with. If this is a big issue she could see one of the gynae nurse specialists to discuss it ahead of her surgery.

It will be a huge weight off her innards as they are under considerable strain with all that extra tissue inside her.

I so hope a date comes up soon
Let us know how you are all doing

Meg

Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[tuckshop]

HI THERE,

WE'VE ALREADY DISCUSSED ABOUT HER HAVING EVERYTHING REMOVED, SHE DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE KIDS, SHE HAS 2 INCLUDING ME. I'M 29 AND MY BROTHER IS 32 SO AS YOU CAN SEE SHE'S BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, GOT THE TSHIRT, AND DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE.
SO ALL WE CAN DO IS CROSS OUR FINGERS AND PRAY THAT THEY HAVE A CANCELLATION SOON.

CHEERS
TUCKSHOP

[bishop]

hi tuckshop
she can have free transport if you live so many miles from the hospital, talk too the doctors,and if shes on any carers allowance or any thing,she would get help

[tuckshop]

HI ALL.
MUM'S HAD HER HOSPITAL DATE THROUGH, 23RD OF THIS MONTH, SO HOPEFULLY ALL SHOULD GO WELL, SHE'S REALLY STARTING TO PANIC NOW, WORRIED SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG HALF WAY THROUGH THE OPERATION, I KEEP TRYING TO REASSURE HER EVERYTHING WILL BE O.K BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES AFTER THE OP.
CHEERS
TUCKSHOP

[Meg]

Hi Tuckshop,

Not far off now.... Her response is an extremely normal one . Every other woman facing this op will be there too. She has a heightened awareness of the symptoms so it 'feels' worse as she is used to associating her symptoms with feeling anxious and depressed.

'SHE DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE KIDS, SHE HAS 2 INCLUDING ME. I'M 29 AND MY BROTHER IS 32 SO AS YOU CAN SEE SHE'S BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, GOT THE TSHIRT, AND DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE.'

Just wanted to clarify a bit from a previous post. On a practical level, she doesn't need her innards any more but the thing I was referring to was that to a woman - her womb, ovaries and breasts are what intrinsically makes you a woman and it is not unusual for any woman - especially when she's as young as your Mum - to feel that a Hysterectomy signifies the end of that and that her whole body image and reason for being on the earth will change hugely and they can have a full blown grieving/denial process surrounding this. Just wondering whether that has contributed at all to how she was a few weeks ago..... She will need much reassurance and TLC.

Hope all goes well.




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

Tuckshop - we will all be thinking of your mum and send her our best wishes :-)

Good luck

Nicola

[tuckshop]

Hi all,
Just to let you know mum has had her op, and everything went well.
I'll be picking her up from the hospital this afternoon.
I'll Just be glad to get her home, At least she can rest for the next 6 weeks in the comfort of her own home, Hopefully after that i'll have my old mum back.
Thanks to everyone for your support + advice.

[Meg]

Hi Tuckshop,

Thats great news. Thanks for letting us know .




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...