I think I might be destroying my relationship.

[Allie_]

Hey,

So i've been with my partner for 5 years and he is so wonderful and supportive. The trouble is I constantly worry that he's only with me because he doesn't want to leave me in this state.
He moved 3 years ago across the country for university and I can't visit him because I can't cope with being that far away from home. The only time I have visited him there was when my parents gave me a lift down, which was the humiliating thing, because i'm 21 and I should be able to travel on my own by now.
I thin part of the problem is that I can't communicate the extent to which my anxiety rules my life. He knows i'm struggling but I don't think he knows to what extent.
I just wonder how long he can stand staying with someone who hardly ever goes out and is intensly paranoid.

[BobbyDog]

It sounds to me Allie, that he loves you for all that you are, he would not stay with you for 5 years out of pitty.

Have you tried putting your feelings down in writing to him? you are able to communicate your feelings here on NMP, so write him a letter or send him an email. If it makes it any easier, try and pretend that you are writing everything down for your own benefit, to read back to yourself, rarther than to send to him.

I hope it all works out for you Allie:hugs:

[Allie_]

That might be worth a try. I think I just have a tendancy to overthink things. Thanks for taking the time to reply :)

[Starmist]

Hi Allie,
I often think the same as you. I've been with Gary for 4 years this year, but i've only been agoraphobic for the last four months. I often think he'd be better off without me and he should just go ahead and end it, but then he says little things that make me think he does care. Like bobbydog said, he's been with you for 5 years he obviously cares a great deal about him. Definitely write him a letter, sometimes when I am feeling low I write one to him and it makes him understand so much more! Good luck! x

[davexdurham]

I think he would of left you by now if he was thinking that. You dont stay with someone to make them happy ive only recently had my girlfriend break up with me and im finding that hard. The truth is noone stays with anyone if they are unhappy im sure he loves you!!

[Beckybooboo]

Hi,

It sounds to me that he genuinely does care about you and love you regardless of your issues.

I think it's really sweet that he's able to commit himself to you and provide you with the world. If he didn't want to be with you, he would have left you by now.

Try and focus on the good parts of your thoughts rather than the bad and fully appreciate him as a person and everything he has done for you.

I wish you all the best of luck,
Becky