Advise help really needed :(

[Tiger mike]

Hi my names mike and I'm new to this forum

I have been suffering with anxiety and panic attacks since the age of 15 (roughly) and im now 34. I have for the past several years been doing much better but unfortunately it's because I have kept myself pretty much indoors and avoiding potential trigger points.

I'm not under any medication and yes I have been using alcahol as a way of just making me feel like the old me ie not anxious etc.

There is a lot more to this but this will do for now as I have a massive problem today.

My partner and I are due to go to a wedding tomorrow however this means traveling some 4 hours in a car and staying away from home for 2 days.. I thought I could cope but I can't, now my girlfriend and I about to lock horns, we have a child (a daughter of 8) and I would rather they went on their own rather than witnessing my having panic attacks etc.

I really thought I could do this but I don't think I can we are supposed to be leaving shortly and although my partner is very helpful/ understanding etc I don't think she fully understands what pressure this is putting me under and I don't think she will forgive me if I back out.

Help advise would be do appreciated right now.

Please don't have ago about the alcahol etc this post today is only meant for the above particular issue.

Thanks in advance and apologies as it seems I've come on just for advise, I haven't and will be back on the site it's just I'm running out of time with this particular problem.

Thanks

Mike

[diane07]

I have recovered from agoraphobia and to me the worse thing to do is cancel and not go.

The thought of doing something is always worse than the deed itself.

Welcome to NMP

di xx

[KaraSharpe]

Hi Mike,
I just joined last night and I totally understand using alcohol to help deal with panic attacks and anxiety. I am on anti depressants, as of 4 days ago, and I know I cant drink on them. Im afraid I dont really have too much advice on how to cope with the wedding, but I would say that you should see you GP asap. I was lucky. Mine was very sympathetic. I just wanted to say, you arent alone.....all the best,
Kara x

[BobbyDog]

I totally understand where you are coming from, have been in your situation in the past.

I suggest that you take regular break's during the journey, stop and get a drink, have a walk about, try and relax.

Once there, get outside as often as you can to clear your head and get a bit of time on your own away from the hustle and bustle.

Explain to your partner how you feel and that you can only go if you can get time out when you need it.

What an acomplishment for you if you can do this!!!!!!!!!

[Tiger mike]

Thank you so much for your supportive comments, the decision has been made and "we" are going. In a way, I feel better now the decision has been made. Thanks once again for taking the the time to comment. I will be back on here in the very near future to hopefully be able to offer support back. Having lived with this for many years it never fails to amaze me you think you have one part of it cracked only for it to manifest in other parts of our lives.. OCD being the another!

Anyway thanks once again.

Mike x

[potato11]

hey

can i recommend you look at the CBT4PANIC programme?

im not sure if you will have time before you go to the wedding, but it will still be very useful to you when you come back

check the thread out in my link - I found it exceptional

[Tiger mike]

Well, my worst fears were realised today. Last night I was brilliant had a few drinks on the way and a few drinks there... I was on a mission to be the old me, happy, no worries, making other people happy even my partner said I was brilliant! Today I woke up no hangover feeling good... Well enough to go to the wedding.... And then!! It happened a txt from a friend saying where are you followed by my partner saying "I didn't realise we were driving this far up north... That was enough to start spinning me out to have a panic attack.. Coupled by the fact I knew this was going to happen, and the added stress of ruining someone else's day (as my partner and our daughter were bridesmaids). My partner stuck with me and we even missed most of the wedding.. I got through it only just, I was so close to running on the motor way to stop the panic attack... It's that terrifying feeling of loosing complete and utter control. The feelings that I've experienced today have litrely thrown me back years!!! I had to have 5 cans just to try and get to the wedding.. I know I shouldn't but what else can I do to help my current situation?? I've to my girlfriend that we have to leave tonight, I can't go through this again tomorrow or be it even worse... Do you know I hate myself for this I cried and cried I really have had enough, I used to be so outgoing nothing phased me!! Now I'm a poor shadow of what I used to resemble. I really do give up. Just had enough of this!!! I'm sick of using alcahol to do what "normal" people do, but most of all I'm sick and tired of being me!!!!

Thanks for all the kind/positive comments yesterday, it really meant a lot!!

[potato11]

Mike

calm down. honestly.

what you experienced today is the result of mistaken beliefs and behaviours fuelling an anxious fire

believe it or not, your body is trying to HELP you - I know its difficult to believe, but you control all this via the energy of your thoughts

the thoughts "my life is over" "im a shadow of my former self" are enough to send ANYONE in to a panic - the only difference is, you strongly believe them because you think the results of your actions are "proof"

I promise you CAN and WILL learn to overcome inappropriate anxiety.

Please take a look at the CBT4PANIC programme, I really believe it will benefit you hugely.

[Tiger mike]

Thanks potato11.

I have done this before along with hypnosis. It worked for a while then stopped! I feel like a real but job, I'm sat in the car while everyone else is enjoying the reception, just want to go home desperately!

We must be able to find a way through this!! I define how this all started as it opend a doorway in my head?? And that doorway was the differnce between feeling butterflies to something else, I look at it like the difference between it is like a cat or a lion! Being normally anxious is like a cat but what we feel is the lion equivalent ??

[potato11]

I think perhaps that sometimes, the challenges of life can set you back, and leave you prone to forgetting to put the CBT in to practice.

Have you actually tried the CBT4PANIC programme, or was it face to face CBT? The creator (Robin) had panic disorder himself, and he is brilliant at providing additional support through email.

You've done it before so you can do it again. I've heard anxiety being likened to a doorway to self discovery, so it's not all bad :) but it can be a pretty bumpy ride