View Full Version : Going to the Dr tomorrow - giving up?
I'm at a really low ebb at the moment. I haven't been this anxious or panicky in years. It has always been there at "big moments", but I've always managed to cope, however at the moment I can't cope :(
I'm supposed to be going back to work tomorrow after being on annual leave since last Tuesday, but I'm scared stiff. There have been problems there recently, and I just can't think about going back without wanting to cry. I've decided, consequently, to go to the Dr tomorrow as when I started making a list of all the things I'm facing issues with at the moment it didn't sound like me at all - usually I'm really healthy, but I'm having panic attacks even going to the other side of my hometown or if someone calls at the house, I'm off my food (I've had two slices of pizza and half a cornish pasty in the last two days), my throat is really aching from a cold I had a while ago, I can't sleep, and this morning I woke up with a migraine. I know that some of these (the throat and migraine) are genuinely illnesses that could happen at any time, but I can't help feeling that as I'm usually healthy they have been brought on by the stress of work and the anxiety having gotten so much worse.
I feel such a failure for going to see my GP though, and what's more, I feel that I'm being pathetic and letting my employer down (even though they are partially the trigger). I thought I was getting (had gotten) so much better, and I've never accepted any medication for the anxiety since I took one betablocker and hated the experience so much that I threw them in the bin. If I go to the GP, is it accepting that I've failed in my own efforts to get "better", or is it accepting that I need a bit of a third party boost at the moment?
Hey Leah,
Accepting help from outside sources is in no way an admitance of failure. Sometimes we all need a little help in to boost our own efforts to get through life.
By the sounds of it you're struggling quite a bit, you're not letting your employer down by missing some work to go to the doctors. People miss days off work for trivial matters all the time and your experiences are in no way trivial.
I know at this time it may feel like giving in, I certainly felt that way when I first went to my GP with my anxiety, but you never know this experience may just give you the extra help you need.
All the best,
Allie
xx
london guy
05-06-12, 21:23
Hi Leah
I want to back up what Allie said. Its ok to get some help and in no way does that make you a failure. Your sick, so see the GP. If you had a physical problem, you wouldnt see yourself as a failiure for seeing a doctor would you? Why should a mental problem be different.
Its admirable that you dont want to let your employer down. But in your present condition can you do your job? If the answer is no, then time off is not only in your best interest, but also in the best inteeests of your employer.
Good luck with the GP x
Leah, you're no giving in, infact quite the opposite - you're admitting that you could do with a little help or guidance to overcome this. Your doctor doesn't necessarily have to prescribe you any kind of medication, and if they do, you don't have to take it unless you want to.
Your doctor could point you in the right path for some kind of counselling/CBT instead and open a whole range of other doors for you. Medication doesn't need to be the first resort, it's just usually the quick answer (in terms of writing a prescription rather than a waiting list for a counsellor or CBT). Ask your doctor what routes are available to you and what doors they can open. They will have a list of local services and probably know of some support groups.
Good luck tomorrow x
If you're writing on here, that is not an admission of failure, it is recognising you are struggling, and looking for help and answers to achieve that. Going to the doctors is asking for help. Asking for help is never a weakness, it is a huge strength.
Our feelings can be negative towards ourselves, but believe me, if you ask for help, you will get help, and EVERYONE needs help at some point in their lives.
That is what I believe, and I hope you find the help and support you need. :)
Thank-you everyone, for your replies and positive thoughts (something I'm lacking currently!) I hope that the Dr is able to help me, even if it is only to help me understand what is happening and give me some time and space to begin hauling myself up the cliff. Even though I have been dealing with this on and off for the past 15 years, I still don't recall having a formal, specific diagnosis. Whilst I appreciate that it's difficult for a GP to understand the intricacies of each patient from a 5 minute consultation I still feel very much in need of a "label" as so many of the symptoms I read about here and elsewhere fit me - making me a generally anxious, agoraphobic emetephobic with panic disorder and a little toilet phobia and seperatation anxiety on the side! :huh: :doh:
To purplesky specifically: I'm so grateful that you reminded me of the line between weakness and strength. In my good times I've always liked the phrase 'mental illness is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of having been strong for too long'. I genuinely believe that, and think it's a very powerful statement, but it is also easy to forget it in the haze of panic!
I still feel very much in need of a "label"
Totally relate to that. :)
To purplesky specifically: I'm so grateful that you reminded me of the line between weakness and strength. In my good times I've always liked the phrase 'mental illness is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of having been strong for too long'. I genuinely believe that, and think it's a very powerful statement, but it is also easy to forget it in the haze of panic!
:hugs: That's a brilliant phrase. It really sums it up well. Good luck at the doctors, be very honest and strong, and like you said, it will help give you the time to recuperate and be yourself again. That's all we want really, just it takes a while getting there sometimes.
Well I couldn't get an appointment yesterday (turns out that out of four GPs at our practice only one is at work at the moment!), but I've been this morning and I have to say a feel a little brighter for it :) My Dr was really nice and said that the exacerbation of my anxiety, panic, migraine, aching throat etc. are all down to workplace stress in his opinion. He has given me a questionnaire to fill in and drop back to the practice, and wants to see me again next week for a follow-up. He's also told me not to go back to work this week so I have some time to recharge, and to re-assess on Monday - if I don't feel ready to go back he'll write me a note based on my current state of health. He also gave me a prescription for Diazepam BUT as I'm not keen on the medication route he made it valid for 6 months and told me to just keep the script in my bag without having it filled, so I know I have something there to help in an emergency, without having to wait for a further appointment with him.
Oh, and he prescribed a tub of Ben & Jerry's to help with my throat and low feelings ;)
Nice one, sounds like you felt listened to. :)
Yes, he's very good actually - he's the same Dr I've had since I was a tiny baby, so I feel that I can trust him :)
Oh, and he prescribed a tub of Ben & Jerry's to help with my throat and low feelings ;)
I think I like the sound of your GP. Ben & Jerrys on prescription, now there's a lovely thought. lol.
Well done for recognising that you need extra support, going to the docs was definitely a positive move and hopefully he will be able to guide you through this rough patch. Once you have had a chance to rest and step back from work for a while you will be in a better frame of mind to make any decisions about your future plans for getting better. Good luck Leah.
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