Can anxiety attach itself to anything?

[Hellington Boots]

I suddenly have mega anxiety about my relationship, despite being in a very happy and loving partnership of three years.

I am not sure where this anxiety has come from all of a sudden and I have been having CBT to try and get to the bottom of it.

My therapist thinks it is down to other issues, and mainly issues with my parents, my perception of their relationship and also low self esteem.

I just really struggle to accept that this anxiety is not about my relationship, even though that is what it has attached itself to!

Do people think anxiety can attach to anything, even good stuff?

It is very upsetting to suddenly have panic attacks and to be so ill over my relationship.

Any answers would be helpful!

xxx

[Tish]

In my opinion, this is quite normal.
I became anxious around babies and developed quite a phobia about them!
I love children so it's been really distressing. I guess that says that you can attach anxiety to the things which you care about the most!

[Hellington Boots]

Hi Tish,


Thanks so much for your reply. This is exactly what I was thinking. I care about my relationship so much, i think i worry about problems that aren't there and try and measure everything. My therapist also says i measure everything against fantasies, which doesn't help!

Thanks for your input.

xxxx

[NoPoet]

Hi, I have come to think that the anxiety appears to attach itself to things, but you must never lose sight of the fact that anxiety comes from within us. We can be reminded of our anxiety by outside stimuli, but we are the ones who react with total fear to these reminders. Look at it this way: if you didn't have anxiety, would you be worried about your relationship? If you can't imagine not being worried about your relationships, then once again the problem lies within yourself, so you need to work out why you think this way. I believe that for a lot of people, such fears represent a sense of inadequacy in themselves: they fear the relationship will end because they feel they don't deserve to be in one.

I went through this with my ex and am still figuring it out. In fairness though, my ex was a bit of a bitch and I had such low self-worth I felt I had to put up with it. Once again, this demonstrates my point: this kind of problem is within us. If we can learn to understand, love and trust ourselves, it's surprising how much less frightening our lives eventually become.

[Hellington Boots]

Hi, I think you have hit the nail on the head!! I have always worried about my relationships - im terrified of being alone, making a mistake, ending up a single parent - all these sorts of things. I suppose it comes back to a lack of self belief. I am working hard on my CBT, and also on my unrealistic expectations of life and am hoping for the best.

xxx