View Full Version : Constant anxiety & occasional panic attacks (I am also pregnant)
Hi there , new to the forum.
I have been battling anxiety and panic for a few years now , I have had times where it disappears for a while then comes back (usually with a vengeance!)
The last time was when I was 18 , I eventually got it under control using Amitriptyline and taking CBT therapy at my gp surgery.
I was anxiety free (only experiencing mild panic attacks once or twice in a year & did not affect my daily life)
Recently (since around march/April of his year) the anxiety has hit again :(
It started gradually but hit very hard with bad panic attacks and a general anxious/scared/tense feeling pretty much 24/7.
To make matters worse I found myself pregnant in May , I am currently 10 weeks.
The anxiety did calm down abit at week 8 but seems to of yet again come back now at 10 weeks. Has anyone ever experienced this in pregnancy??
I'm hoping that my hormones are playing a big part & it will again settle as I go into my 2nd trimester (which is just around the corner)
Just looking to hear other people's experiences with anxiety & what works best for you when you have an attack.
Has anyone ever experiences days where you just cant relax no matter what u do?? I have times where i find myself tensing naturally instead of relaxing naturally (eg when Watching telly) It's so tiring & because of th anxiety it makes me choke and panic when I try to eat , I force the food down for my baby but it's very distressing for me :(
So tell me your stories! :) look forward to hearing! & thankyouu so much for reading.
wow you sound a lot like me!!!
i made a post today too and to save myself re-typing (it is long lol) here it is (or not would not let me post a link)
would be nice to have someone to talk to who is in the same boat x
heres the post sorry its so long
heya guys i am new here
i'm 20 yrs old and 6 months pregnant. i have suffered anxiety and depression from being around 11 yr old. i am also a hypochondriac.
basically i have hyperemisis gravidarum (which is extreme morning sickness so bad you throw up many times through day and night every day) i was being sick for 2 months straight all day every day and ended up in an out of hospital on iv drip for dehydration. i WAS on 150mg sertraline up until i started being sick and then ofc had to go cold turkey as i couldn't even keep down water let alone pills. i never noticed any of the effects (though i probably did lol i was just so ill throwing up that i didn't notice!) my anxiety was for some reason (?) no existant after coming off the tablets and being sick. i say non existant i had panic attacks quite often when i had to go to hospital etc but those were normal for me and i could deal with them and they would dissapear and i'd be ok til i had my next one. anyway i was put on odonsatron which is an anti sickness tablet and stopped being sick. i tried taking my sertraline on two different occasions since not being sick and the next day woke up and vomitted each time. so i let it go and got on with stuff not really noticing anxiety or depression and just having the odd usual panic attack at random times about random diseases (my main anxiety trigger)
then around 2 weeks ago i felt very sick and dizzy which led to a panic attack as i fear fainting so i lay down and went to sleep. now normally i'd wake up feeling okay and not panic stricken but for some reason the anxiety had not dissapeared and it was the first time i'd experienced full blown anxiety over a period of days. it lasted 5 days. i could not eat a thing and i was throwing up as i suspect i also had a bug for the first two days. i then stopped throwing up but still could not eat. my anxiety was terrible it was the weekend and i needed some body to give me something so i kept wanting to go to a and e but someone kept bringing up social services and my baby if i get involved with the crisis team so ofc that made my anxiety worse. so on monday i made an emergancy doctors appointment (well my mam did as i was that anxious i didnt even want to leave my bloody bed..) and i went in to find out i was once again severely dehydrated so at the height of my anxiety was told i needed to go into hospital to be put on fluids lol i wanted to shrivel up seriously. i told the doc about what had been happening etc she rang up the hospital to let them know my state of anxiety and they got me to see a psychiatrist on that day. he gave me propanalol to go home with as i stressed to him i was not able to take a medication which would make me feel stoned as that makes me panic more. he did try and push for that though. i said no. i knew i'd be worse if i took something spacey. i went home with propanalol which worked after a few days. it didn't work 100 percent but did definitely take the edge off. the anxiety brought on my depression and the propanaolol did not take that away obviously since it isn't for depression so that was still there plus a little bit of anxiety still. on the days where it wasn't working though i'd panic'd more thinking it wouldn't work and rang up the hospital who told me i should go back on my sertraline and come off propanalol (UGH) i had a doctors appointment for today so i thought i'll wait until wednesday (day before docs app) and take tablet to see how i go plus thinking i'd feel less anxious.
so i took my tablet last night (50mg)(after ages of being really worried to take it) as 1 i know how sick it has made me the past 2 times in pregnancy and 2 all of the horrible start up side effects i've read about people having. (i started taking this med years ago and i can't remember start up affects then so was ignorant to them) and i woke up this morning felt very sickly and nervous. i felt spacey and like i was not in my own body and i started to freak out a little bit. i got dressed for doctors and off i went. i got into doctors surgery and had a massive panic on and had to wait outside and get my mam to come get me when doctor called my name. my anxiety had shot up through the roof and beyond and i felt ill. when i got into the doctors office i was crying and hysterical and i couldn't even explain to him what was going on as i was getting that paranoid i thought i couldn't speak and started to panic thinking i was going insane and that i couldn't talk or hold my own head up etc. then i threw up and had to run to the toilet with terrible diareah and throwing up at the same time. he told me to basically perservere and it was the anxiety making me throw up not the tablet. FFS IT IS THE TABLET WHICH MAKES ME THROW UP. but i am too scared to continue taking the tablet as i feel fear in my gut constantly. i've never experienced something so terrifying. i have feelings of doom and worry over nothing. i fear going insane and feel like i am not here cos of this tablet :( idk what to do guys.. i think i may just stop this tonight cos i can't keep vomitting like this plus i'm bloody pregnant and it isn't healthy to be throwing up this much AGAIN. idk what to do feel so lost
sorry for such a long post guys hope someone reads it lol!
Yes we're very very similar , I had to go to hospital when I was just under 6 weeks due to dehydration caused by morning sickness , I'm also absolutely terrified of being sick , when it was happening my mom had to come to the dr with me also & I had to wait outside I wouldn't wait in the waiting room (I remember reading very similar in ure post) I was on cyclizine (although I did ask for ondanestron as I'd read it was the wonder drug for morning sickness) but th cyclizine works brilliant for me it took about 2 weeks for it to properly work & I confess I didn't eat even after coming out of hospital for those 2 weeks but I was drinki water & 7up & the doctor told me that would be okay but I had to try eating
Because of my phobia of being sick I was so scared to even try "incase it made me sick" it's how my mind works :(
But anyway I've been doing fine since week 8 slowly built my eating back up once I proved to myself eating would nt mak me ill, thinking about it now the not eating probably made me feel worse& it was just a vicious circle of I feel ill I'm not gonna eat and because I'm not eating i feel even more ill & so on.
I've not heard of the drug sertraline , I'm assuming it's an SSRI? Well Amitriptyline is a Tricyclic antidepressant it's older and makes you kinda tired so I take it about an hour or so before bed.
I've took diazepam before (it was such a godsend!!!) it didn't make me feel spaced out or anything it just made me feel normal and relaxed , but obviously that's a biiiiigggg nono in pregnancy although I have heard stories of women who did take it at their worst points and LO turned up fine.
I'd suggest to u to stop taking tha drug and ask the doctor is there is another antidepressant that you might try as that one is obviously making you very sick :( I tried fluoxetine and celexa before I was preg and both of those made me have a really upset stomach (no vomiting but nausea and diarrhea) but amitriptyline has never done that to me , the main side effect I had was waking up with dry mouth , but after the first 4 weeks that goes anyway.
Can I ask when did your HG start? What week? And what week did you get treated and put on anti sickness?
I use things like (& i knowww it's probably just a placebo effect but) rescue remedy , ginger tablets and sea bands (to convince myself I'm NOT going to be ill) I take my cyclizine religiously , I even have to wake up in the middle of the night to take it but I dnt need an alarm or anything because my body automatically wakes itself up at the exact time my med is due , which I think is quite amazing really.
Do u live with ure mom? Is she home with u a lot? I think that helps sometimes but then again I have other times when I even get anxious around my mom & want to be alone , it just depends on how I feel.
When I was at my worst I was too scared to leave my bed aswel :( its soooooooo horrible cause I know when I'm anxious all I want to do is calm myself down & relax but it's like physically impossible a lot of the time just have to ride it out which is a nightmare when it lasts for most or all of the day. I usually feel worse around this time before bed .. I've got a thing abut night time that panics me , I worry that if I dnt sleep I won't get enough rest , myt harm my LO etc :(
Is your baby's dad around? Mine isn't , but he knows and is happy (don't rele wana get into y he not here ATM) but if I'm honest because of my panic/anxiety I'm quite glad in a way because I think it would make it worse if he was around me 24/7 , like I said sometimes the only was I can calm down is to be completely alone. I dunno if that's how u feel orrr not? Just sharing my experience/feelings.
Today I have felt very on edge and anxious and usually I feel this way when I'm nauseous or feel like I'm at risk of being sick , but I don't feel sick AT ALL do it's kinda new to me panicking over god knows what :/ I usually at least know why it's happening and I think it's so much more frustrating!
I did have a panic attack when I had to go for my blood work at the hospital when I was 8 1/2 weeks but that was because I faint every time I've given blood before and got myself in a state over that , but again at least I knew WHY I was panicking then , although that doesnt make it any better at the time!
I'm glad I've found someone who is so similar to me I was starting to think I was the only pregnant woman around who suffered anxiety!
Ooh and u kno how u said u didn't want to go to a&e & se crisis team because of social services , well I was in hosp before being pregnant and I did see them , (they are a complete waste of time in my opinion!!!) they just said oh make a gp appointment and sent me home on my own when my parents were on holiday! Useless!
BUT from my gp I saw a CPN mental health nurse who referred me to the local mental health hospital to see a psychiatrist , she was lovely and reassured me that I would get help from a lot of sources especially because I'm pregnant , I am awaiting an appointment for regular anxiety management with a specialist one to one because I told her there was NO way I could do that group stuff :/
But I have also asked questions about SS & I have be reassured that as long as I am not in danger or harming myself , my baby or anyone else & as long as I take care of my baby SS wouldn't even have a leg to stand on even if they did start snooping around , & I would never neglect my child , or harm anyone or myself I understand I have a BIG responsibility that will be here sooner than I know!
I'm looking forward to my 12 week scan now as I think that will help a lot knowing everything is okay although I did have one at. 6 weeks in hosp and everything was fine strong heartbeat :)
I'm hoping that the wacky symptoms of this awful trimester will go as the hormones start to level out and drop in 2nd tri !!
Just gotta hang in there all will come right in the end :) and I'm sure all this anxiety will be VERY worth it when we get to meet our LOs :)
Do u know if ure having a boy or girl yet?
Sorry for the massive reply ! Such a lot to say lool & hope 2 hear back from u
i was on cyclinze too at the start but it didn't help me. i had to have a few hospital visits before they
gave me odansetron. sertraline is zoloft/lustral it is an anti d ssri yes.
so you are actually on medications? sorry i must have missed that part :P is amitripyline for anxiety? do you
take it for anxiety and depression or one or the other? how long have you been on it?
i thought diazepam would make you spaced like i have a fear of feeling spacey and not real iykwim so i'm suprised diaz doesn't do that shame you can't take it
in pregnancy though :(
i didn't take it last night but woke up this morning (atfer hardly any sleep :() and have already thrown up twice. the dr told me to perserveer as sertraline can have side effects
which last up to 2-4 weeks.. i could not be sick for that long and it really heightened my anxiety how could i go that long feeling like that i am already freaking out over nothing as it is
let alone having the awful side effects of that to make me panic more. plus my depression has hit me really strong today and i really woke up with that dread feeling of oh no another day feeling like this
i just want to curl up and die. i feel terrible. :(
my hg started around 8 weeks and i got put on cyclizine then but it didn't work and i'd been admitted to hospital twice before i was given odansatron.
i do live with my mam and i agree 100percent with you. sometimes i can't bare to be around anyone at all as it makes me feel 10x worse and it is upsetting me cos
i love my mam and also my bf to bits so i feel so bad..:( my babys dad is around we have been together nearly 2 yrs and he is great and understanding but i worry he will start to
get really sick of me with all of this going on..even though he says he wont i can't help thinking he must be so sick of me. i get anxious for no reason and find it hard to cope
so i hate it when that happens and i'm around people.
today so far is horrible it is 11am and i am dreading the day ahead tbh i just need this feeling to go away. i feel so depressed, anxious, scaared, nervous, helpless, lonely, and physically n mentally drained.
the psychiatrist i seen at the hospital gave me the number for the crisis team but i feel so helpless idk what anyone can do as i'm too worried to try meds which make me stoned so it's like is there anything else
they can give me? even in pregnancy? so sorry you had a bad time with the crisis team though that sounds awful :(
man i'mm so glad i found someone else who is pregnant and anxious too i kept gooling stuff but it's all years old etc and i felt so alone with it!
i feel very detached from my baby atm and not long aago i was soo excited and constantly buying stuff etc now i feel dread at the thougt. i know that sounds so awful but i can't help it :(
i am having a baby girl :) though my bf doesn't know lol he wants a suprise where as i wanted to find out :D
can i ask how old you are? (sorry if i sound rude!)
hope to hear from you soon x
---------- Post added at 11:12 ---------- Previous post was at 11:09 ----------
i'm also stressing about having to go back into hospital as i haven't had nothing to eat and hardly anything to drink and this is the start of day 2 with nothing. :(
Heyy sorry you're having a rubbish day :(
Yes I am on medication at the moment , amitriptyline is usually for depression but they gave it to me for anxiety back when I was 18 (when my panic attacks first started badly) because SSRIs made me feel ill. My dr (different 1 to bak then because I moved house) put me on fluoxetine/Prozac even tho I told her that they made me ill but that was just before I fell preg , then when I found out I got told to continue , I did try a few time but it upset my stomach so much I stopped, then when I was admitted to hosp (that was the beginning of may) I told them and they were ever so good & gave me amitriptyline told me it was 100% safe for my baby because it's an older anti d & has been used in pregnancy for years! I was so happy about that. Sorry to hear cyclizine didn't work for :( they told me in hosp I had the signs of HG because I was so ill I couldnt eat , but if I'm honest I think my phobia of being sick was the culprit :/ I feel bad taking anti sickness because I know there are women out there like u who do have terrible HG & there's me can't cope with normal morning sickness without tablets but honestly I think I would be severely under weight and my baby's helth would be in danger if I didn't take them.
Honestly if I was allowed to take diazepam while pregnant I would do , because within around 15-30mins after swallowing it , u just feel calm wash all over u , it's amazing!
I didn't believe it at first & just thought it was another 1 of those tablets that would either make me fall asleep or hav no effect , I was so amazed when I felt so much better. I was taking 5mg whenever I felt the need (after the first few times I would test myself , I'd say to myself "okay give it an hour & if I still feel too anxious to cope Ill take one" in some ways it was like a safety blanket even just having the tablets around me , in my bag , my bedside table wherever I was & after a while I only took one when I REALLY needed it.
I've looked into it obsessively about taking during pregnancy , but a lot of people say its a deffo no , some say in the 2nd tri u can take when needed so I myt speak to my midwife about it IF this bad anxiety continues.
It's awful isn't it when u can't be around anyone , I'm exactly the same , sometimes if I'm feeling okay or not too anxious I'll go & chat to my mom or go to the local shops with her , anything to get myself out the house!
But when I'm feeling very on edge & panicky (unless I'm having a complete freak out & feel like I'm gonna be sick) she will come & sit with me try to make conversation and I feel so bad because I'm tryin so hard not to start panicking and hyperventilating that I don't really say much to her , she must think I'm being off with her , but I think she's putting it down to hormones ATM. She is very understanding though and I'm so thankful , she's been through a lot for me over the years.
As I said I'm quite glad my baby's dad isn't around at the mo because I wouldn't be able to be around him the way I am now , & I'd feel so bad about it aswel , it's just hard to explain to our loved ones how it feels if they haven't experienced it themselves isn't it :/
You say you're sick today , have u taken your ondaneston? What dose are you on?
If you're feeling anxious , nervous , depressed etc .. I would suggest that you lie in bed , watch some tv (if u have 1 in ure room) put on a film or something , try to sleep if u haven't all night trust me I know that's easier said than done :( try to really concentrate on something , anything apart from how u feel .. That's what I try every time I'm anxious.
The only medicine I know for anxiety is anti d's , benzos (diazepam) & propranolol (I did try that before aswel and all it did was slow my heart right down s that I couldn't feel it beating .. Which freaked me out)
I am always the same when I am having very bad anxiety , I question what anyone could do to help me , it seems like nothing can help :/ , do u see ure gp regularly? If not I'd suggest trying to go down the doctors at least once or twice a week , every time ure there tell the, how bad u feel , and especially if ure throwing up not eating etc they will see for themselves how ill u are! If they still continue not to do anything or keep telling u to take tablets that make u sick (I dnt see how that can help at all) then be firm & say u want a second opinion .. Ask to see the counsellor , they may refer you to higher mental health specialists .. U have to make them see how bad u feel and how much you're suffering other wise they don't do anything.
I'm 21 by the way :) I'm glad I found someone to talk to this about aswel I've been googling like mad since I came out of hosp so eventually I just decided to post for myself and hoped someone similar read it & u did :P lol
I also felt very detatched from my baby when I was very ill , my 5th 6th & 7th week seemed like 3 years not 3 weeks every day dragged on , I was crying every day and at one point I even considered abortion :'( it upsets me now that I even thought about it but I felt so ill I felt like I couldn't survive another day. I had awful thought secretly wishing that I'd miscarry so I could feel normal again & then as soon as I had that thought I would think of how bad I was for thinking it & questioning wether I would be able to be a good mom knowing I thought that about my LO :( its awful to even type that for me , because now the only thing that is keeping me strong and trying not to fall back into the panic/anxiety/depression spiral is my baby and although I'm only 10 weeks I feel so much love for him/her.
But as I said in week 8 I don't know what happened , I think maybe I had had enough and my sub concious kinda took over & said NO I'm not feeling this way anymore , & like I said I startd to eat and as soon as I did I felt so much better and got a little confidence back ..
In your first tri , which week would u say was the worst? Because I've been reading a lot about hcg levels and how between weeks 8&12 they reach their highest & then start to decline .. I've got it into my head that the hcg hormon is to blame for my anxiety , I don't know why I just have a feeling .. It's just strange because I was 10+1 yesterday and that's when the anxiety seemed at its very highest and like I said over nothing! I don't feel sick , although when I was eating yesterday I was very very jittery and thinking the worst of oh no what if this makes me sick , it didn't & I knew it wouldn't I just cant make my mind realise that it's frustrating! I think maybe my hormones are at their peak level at the moment? I'm seeing my midwife on Monday so I'm going to ask all these questions , I can't wait for week 13 I just feel like I will be so much calmer knowing I'm in second tri & will of had my scan & I hope so much that everything is okay with my LO :)
Congratulations on having a baby girl! :) I won't find out for agessss yet but I wanna know at my 20wk scan because then I'll know what colour to buy/decorate the bedroom :D I'm sososooooooo excited and I think that's kinda adding to the anxiety , as strange as it seems excitement gives me some of the same symptoms of anxiety , such as the racing heart & butterfly feeling in stomach so I'm tryin to contain the excitement until I'm feeling calmer!
Have u had anything to eat or drink yet???? 2 days is bad without any liquid Hun , please please please try and sip some water if u can , if not go to ure gp or hospital cause u need liquids in u , another thing I've read is women being given different types of anti sickness at the same time , maybe u could ask if there is anything else u cud take along side the ondaneston?
When are u due? Have u got any other children or is this ure first? It's my first & I'm terrified of the birth , I got panicky watching one born every minute & had to turn it off! Haha , I'm sure all women get that way though :P
& if u dont mind me asking , where about do u live? I'm from Birmingham :)
Hope to speak to u soon and I really hope u feel better , my thoughts are with u Hun xx
1 more thing I wanted to ask , are u working/were u working before ure HG? I'm not , I haven't been in work since last autumn , I wasn't having panic/anxiety then but my job was temp and ended in sept then couldn't find work over autumn/winter , then in January/February I was suffering depression which was acompanied by anxiety but not bad anxiety , ever since then it kinda got worse and worse and although the depression started to get better , then anxiety slowly got worse , and then suddenly got ALOT worse when i got pregnant .. I'm on benefits at the moment there is no way I could work right now , there's so much I want to do , go back to college is what I want to do now but I'm thinking if I applied for sept I would be 5 months & then wud have to hav time off for the birth & who knows wether I will even feel better by then , what if I'm worse and can't go :/ just a few thoughts that are particularly floating around in my mind.
Anyway speak to u soon :) x
my mam is on prozac but apparently that is only for depression and ocd not anxiety.i wish i could get this ampitriplyn!
don't be daft it is horrible being sick no matter how often it is and fearing it is even bloody worse lol! if they are helping you that is great :)
idk if my HG is still high atm or not as i'm on the odonsatron and i'm being sick lately due to god knows what tbh. last night and this morning are defo off the sertraline
but the other week which is what set off this horrible anxiety to begin with (i had been fine all throughout pregnancy no anxiety really apart from my usual panic attacks now n then about health worries)
then suddenly i was sick for 2 days and it set off my anxiety. it was terrible i had 6 days of hardly eating due to the first 2 days being sick and then the others anxiety incase eating made me sick.
so idk why i was sick for those 2 days i think i had a bug. and i hate even thinking about that week as it's what kick started this off and it upsets me so much i just want to feel how i did before that happened.
ugh :(
that sounds like a brilliant medication! wish i could have some of it haha. i am in 2nd tri now wonder if i could take some?!
i hate it so much..i have been sat downstairs with my mam for a few hours today though :) and she is going to take me out for a drive in the car
we do this every night as being in the car i feel so much better. so we often go for a drive. i spoke to my bf on the phone earlier and i miss him so much i want him to be here with me but
i worry i will get anxious more and then shout at him cos i am being a cow to him lately with my hormones and he doesn't deserve it :( but i just want a hug you know.
idk if you mind me asking or not but do you and babies dad get on ok? feel free to tell me to piss off if i'm being nosey btw :P
my mam suffers depression n anxiety aswel so she understands thank god but i still feel awful going to my bedroom etc leaving her :(
i was sick twice this morning (well around 11 times a go haha) i took an odonsatron today and so far it has stayed down -touch wood
i am on 8mg did not have one yesterday though due to obvious reasons so i'm wondering if maybe that is why i was sick today? or if they tablet was still in my system
or if it was anxiety lol idk which it is which doesn't help!
i am waiting on the doctor ringing me i called up earlier to let him know how ill i was feeling etc and he was meant to be ringing meback after he has spoke to the mental health team
but it has been 2 hours and surgery shuts soon so i am nervous he is not going to ring me back :( i got my mam to ring mental health team for me earlier as i felt really unwell and anxious
and asked to speak to the psychiatrist i had seen a week or so ago and she basically said 'he may ring back' and he hasn't rang back so gr8 help they are..;(
i have been given propanalol to take so hoping it will work for me.
i am often at the gp for diff reasons but you always ends up seeing a different bloody one and some of them are awful seriously.
don't feel bad huni i also have had the same thoughts. wishing i would miscarry thinking why did i do this etc it can't be helped
when we feel so unwell it can't be helped really! anyone would feel the same in our shoes hun i know it.
i THINK not 100percent sure as my memory is rubbish lol i think it was around weeks 8-10 i remember i kept getting told i'd be better in the 2nd tri etc
cos of hormone levels. i also think the hormones have triggered my anxiety but then again if that were true why would it happen so late for me?
hm ;s maybe you will feel 100x better in second tri fingers crossed for you!
thanks so much :)) i initially wanted a boy LOL and i was upset at first cos i really thought i was having a boy! but now i am rly excited it's a lil girl
though i hope she doesn't bloody turn out like me poor thing! :P i have to do the nursery neutral colours with my bf not knowing sex! so we are doing winnie the pooh theme :D
do you have a pref over the sex? or do you not mind either way?
i'm sipping on some capri sun my mam got for me :) and hoping i can manage to keep it down then hopefully increase my intake tomorrow and maybe try and eat!
rly don't want to end up back in hospital on drip was only their not even 2 weeks ago for 6 hours ugh it just made my anxiety shoot through the roof idk how i'd cope again.
i only coped as my gp rang the hospital to let them know how anxious i was and they also got me to see their psychiatrist who gave me the propanalol
so it felt like a glimmer of hope. not sure how i'd feel this time you know :(
i don't think i'm being sick cos of the hg tbh it's off the sertraline this time and not sure about last week that may have been hg or a bug or anxiety hard to bloody tell with so much going on lol!!
i'm due 22nd september :P god it can't come fast enough seriously. this is my first and my last for sure lolol i couldn't go through this ever again seriously!
i watch OBEM well i did when i wasn't anxious i think i'd be at a n e thinking i was having a heart attack if i watched it in this state rofl! i am quite literally
crapping my pants about the idea of giving birth and being anxious my mam said 'you will be in that much pain you wont be thinking about anxiety trust me!) lol!
i want a water birth they seem really relaxing and i hate hospitals so i think i'd find a more soothing enviroment better :)
i live in newcastle :D not thattt far away really! shame we didn't live closer really!
thanks for your encouraging words :) really appreciate having someone to talk to!
how are you feeling today hun?
i'm on benefits too (the sick) due to depression n anxiety i've never worked cos of it lol :( i dropped out of school and then out of college
i am really wanting to get back to college once LO is born though. i'd like to work with animals :-) what would you like to do?
btw what do you do to fill up your day since you don't work etc? sorry that is very personal LOL just curious!
hope to speak to you soon x
Oh my god you have GOT to be kidding me :|
I just wrote a massive reply & it didn't post , I clicked back & it had disappeared :(
Oh maaannn I'll start again! It's not my day today seriously , I got angry and started crying earlier because I couldn't sign into the huggies website haha , it's funny thinking abut it now but at the time :| u had any mood swings like that? Or just the anxiety?
My gp said that Prozac was what they used for anxiety , obviously I know more about anxiety medication than she does haha she's lovely bless her but she shouldn't be a doctor she doesn't know what she's on about half the time.
Ask your gp about amitriptyline , & diazepam for that matter , just explain that u want to try it , by all means feel free to look it up yourself but honestly the hospital gave me amitriptyline and said it was 100% safe in pregnancy , & as for diazepam it's the 1st trimester where it's not recommended because of birth defects , but the 2nd trimester should be okay , ask your gp anyway , I will be asking for diazepam the minute I turn 13 weeks!
Sounds like a combination of that sertraline , not taking ure anti sickness & anxiety causing u to throw up , have u tried sucking mints? That work when I'm feeling nauseous because ure not actually eating but the minty taste somehow takes the "omg Im gonna be sick" feeling away.
You probably did have a bug before & that brough on your anxiety thinking about what if u get dehydrated again , to you get more anxiety and that causes you to feel more sick & not be able to eat & then feel more anxiety. It's a vicious cycle that I can totally relate to!
At least your mom knows what it's like so she can understand why you want to be alone.
Yess I get on with my baby's dad :) don't worry ure not being nosy , he's only just found out I pregnant & he's happy about it , it's a massive long story which I'll send in a private message just remind me cause ive got awful memory too!
The mental health services on the NHS are rubbish! Seriously they don't care unless u hurt urself or sum1 else & then they have the cheek to ask why you didn't get help before!
It happened to me when I was depressed I self harmed and ended up in a&e & the crisis team just said well why did you not tell your gp? Baring in mind I was seeing my gp who had diagnosed me with "low mood" not depression! It's ridiculous!
I'm hoping it's a girl :) a lot of people have told me they have a feeling it is , but even if I had a boy I would be equally as happy :) omg I love all the Winnie the pooh stuff in babies r us :P I've totalled everything I was up to over £2000 oops hehe gonna be begging my mom 2 put it on her credit card hehe :P
Glad ure drinking now :) hopefully u can get some food down u tomorrow! Try some fruit or something? Or people say eat toast and rice if you can't get anything else down , is it just a fact of food making you sick or is it the flavours? If its flavours just eat anything that is tasteless that's what I did at first because the thought of flavours were blahhh
Now here's me munching on a subway sandwich my mom bought me on her way back from work haha :)
I'm feeling a lot bette than yesterday not as anxious although I was very jittery when eating , but now I've proved myself once again food doesn't make me sick so I'm okay :)
I get told the same about labour the pain will be so much u won't care about anything else haha , I want an epidural & a hospital birth , only because I'd be terrified of something happening to my baby & not getting to the doctors in time , plus my mom told me she felt nothing hardly with the epi so hope that works for my pain hehe deffo not watching OBEM for a gud while yet though don't want the anxiety shooting up again haha
I'm on employment and support (sick pay) benefits too , is that the same in Newcastle? I get 50 something a week at the mo but once they have had a medical assessment of me it will go up to nearly 100 a week which will help so much!
& it depends how I spend my day , when I'm VERY anxious I won't leave my room all day (except to go to the loo of course) and I just try to feel better and relax watching tv or on the Internet. Sometimes tidying up to try & take my mind off it.
On a good day though I'll get up , make brekfast , get dressed , maybe take my dogs out for a walk (not too far though cause I like to be close to home if I'm on my own) go to the shopping centre with my mom if she's home , go & chill in the garden if it's nice weather , just general home stuff really.
I don't really go & see friends , if I go out it's on my own or with my mom , because although they know about my panic attacks it would still make me too anxious to go out & see them , they understand though & sometimes people come over & see how I am which is nice but sometimes I just wish they'd go home cause it makes me worse :/ sounds awful but I can't help it.
Plus I've only told a couple of people about my pregnancy , I'm waiting until the scan when I know everything's okay before I let everyone know :)
What do u do when you're at home all day? On good days & bad?
Just had another emotional episode over another stupid thing haha , football is on instead of corrie , :| emotions are all over the place today woahh :|
How are u feeling now anyway Hun? Hope ure feeling better! Speak soon :) x
ugh that sucks LOL the reason my posts are so spaced out is cos i'm writing this in notepad so i can see what you have written
to reply to cos my memory would not be able to handle remembering half a bloody sentence even ;p
lollll trust me i've had the most rediculous mood swings over nothing. i randomly start crying for no reason then i get angry over stupid stuff.
the joys of pregnancy!!
i spoke to the doctor n he has given me diazapam but i am too scared to take them lol god i am so daft man i even irritate myself.
i just WISH i could take them without thinking what if this and what if that. ffs. so they are sat downstairs. :( i'm scared of feeling detached from my
own body and mind and feeling stoned n spacey so i worry they will do that to me as i'm hyper sensitive to meds and they seem to effect me a lot harsher than
they other people. i took 1 codeine once and i had the biggest panic attack ever cos it made me feel like i wasn't really here lol so scary.. that was a bloody codeine
how could i take valium?!
the other week when i didn't feel well i sucked a lot of cola cubes and that helped ;)
you do not have to pm about babys dad if you'd prefer not to talk about it but if you want to then feel free hun :)
winnie the pooh is very cute :))) i couldn't afford nowhere near that haha i wish!!! gl getting your mam to pay for it tho haha :D
i've had some more of the capri sun throughout the day and also a bit water. i've also ate half a banana and a couple of skittles! :)
i think it's just the thought of eating which makes me feel sick. so i just need to push past that and eat without any stupid worries
yum what kind of subway?! i only ever get tuna subs :P they are delicious
glad you are feeling better than you did yesterday hopefully it was a blip and you will begin to get better each day :)
i'm hoping to start on my propanalol again tomorrow morn if i can keep this food down fingers crossed for me!!
i'm ok when i stop overthinking! it's overthinking which brings out my anxiety. is this the same for you?
i find i'm a lot better when doing something to distract myself from thinking.
my hospital has birthing pools in it there's no way on hells earth i'd be going somewhere where there wasn't immediate medical help if needed lol!
i couldn't cope with that :P
i'm also on esa i get 180 a fortnight on it. wish i got it weekly instead tho!
and basically i'm exactly the same as you! in my bedroom all day watching tv n movies n looking online i also play wow (nerd!! :P) with my bf
but not been on it lately
when i am feeling better i go round my bfs go out with my mam just stuff which involves leaving the house more tbh :)
that is nice that your friends come to visit you but i can understand what you mean about not wanting them there for long!
i haven't watched the soaps since my anxiety kicked off for some reason! i used to watch them religiously
well easties, corra and emmerdale anyway :) my mam loves them though
have you started watching big brother? which other shows do you like?
felt terrible most of the day tbh went for a drive in the car with my mam for an hour or so then went to see my bf for 10 mins and got a cuddle which was nice :)
but feeling a lot better atm now it's nightime and i'm in my bedroom relaxed
x
My memory is terrible aswel haha , I have to keep scrolling up to remind myself what to say next :P
What dose of diazepam did u get? If u got the 5mg snap it in half (which I ALWAYS have difficulty with because of my nail extensions) take it & see how u feel. I wouldn't be saying this is I thought it was gonna make u feel all spaced out or something , because it really doesn't .. I could imagine if a calm person took it it might , but because your anxiety is so high up in the air it will just bring you down to a nice calm level , honestly I didn't believe it at first but oh boy if I could of had 1 yesterday I really would of cause I felt so bad.
& my mom had to take codine when she had a bad back & she said the same that it made her feel really weird , I've never personally had it but I could imagine that wouldn't be a nice feeling , I don't like not feeling in control of my body , which I think may be 1 reason I fear being sick so much cause u can't control it ,if it's gonna happen it will happen u know lol.
I know EXACTLY what u mean about the what ifs .. I'm always doing it too , I actually posted this 2 some1 earlier , instead of asking what if try think so what.
Like "what if I take this tablet & I feel weird?" that will automatically start a chain of negative thoughts and answers to ure question.
What u gotta do is answer urself (I know I sound a little crazy here but hear me out :P honestly it does work).
So instead of letting your mind wonder about the answer , answer for it , think 'well if I take it & it makes me feel weird so what? I'll feel crap for a few hours have a panic attack but thats it , I won't die , I'll be fine when it wears off & I'll know not to take it again'
It's 1 of them things that takes a while 2 grasp & put into practice properly , I learned this at CBT agesss ago now.
If I feel anxious now I keep thinking to myself "the worst thing that could happen is I throw up , & even though at the time it might be bad , I'll feel better later" or when I'm in bed I always think "what if I can't get to the bathroom & I throw up in my room" that 1 always gets me goin with anxiety , the other day I was thinking about it & then I thought , "well so what , if I throw up on the floor or something it's not the end of the world" & it really calmed me down , & then surprise surprise as soon as I calmed down , I didn't feel sick anymore :) I really do think the mind is one facinating thing.
Don't get me wrong it is releeally hard to think positive when ure anxious , I know I just made it seem like its easy but trust me it ain't , but it is do-able.
I'm guessing my mom won't put all that on her credit card haha no harm in trying though lool & I certainly don't have enough money for it all :P
Yeahh I get fortnightly too with esa but I always get letters telling me how much per week so I'm just used to saying I get that much a week lol , did u have to have a medical assessment? I've been told I've gotta go to the city but I live like 45 mins out of Birmingham & there is NO way on this earth I can get there , it would literally take me days because I'd tell my mom to stop the car every 2 minutes. :/ I do drive myself but I haven't since I went into hospital & don't really wanna while everything is so high up in the air.
Haha well I've never played WoW but obvs heard about it haha , have u got Facebook? Lool that & forums are pretty much the only things I go on on the web , & of course babies r us haha.
Ooh u should start watching the soaps again :) I love watching them , it's like witnessing someone else's misery & taking my mind off my own :P haha especially Eastenders there's always someone down in the dumps on there haha.
The only big brother I ever watched was the 1 with jade in lool , I like hollyoaks , family guy (:P) , I absolutely love LOST even tho it's not on the telly I watch it on lovefilm sum times , ermmm I'm such an oldie for saying this but my guilty pleasure is midsummer murders lmao embarrassing I know but I love it :P this is what anxiety has done to me , forced me to watch baddd daytime tv! :P
What other things do u like? I USED to watch horror films , but i wouldn't dare at the moment , I'd be having nightmares! That's another thing pregnancy has brought for me , VERY vivid dreams ! Very strange.
Well done u for eating a banana & skittles! :) lool , at least u kept it down that's a good sign! Are u still feeling sick or has the ondaneston taken it off? Aww at least u got 2 see ure bf :)
I had a bacon subway mmmmm was lovely had a cookie after it aswel , & ate a whole melon lmao :P think my anxiety about food is deffinately dying down :D
Its easier for me to eat if I'm reading or watching tv while eating cause it distracts me away from the thought of the food :)
Hopefully you're gonna feel better tomorrow! I've got my fingers crossed for u :)
& at least try the diazepam , I can not stress enough how amazing it is , like 15-20 minutes & u will feel a lot calmer. Also take the propranolol because it does work with slowing down ure heart rate so maybe that will keep u from panicking aswel , it all helps :)
At least u feel better now & are relaxed in bed! Same as me , I usually feel a little worse when it gets to this time but I'm staying positive & just gonna put on a nice film & fall asleep , when I wake up in the morning is the most relaxed time for me I think , u know that feeling when ure still half asleep in bed & ure awake but u just wanna lie there & chill .. I looove that feeling , its only when I actually get up that I start feeling anxious , just proves its all to do with negative thinking when the brain fully wakes up. Frustrating because I know I have the ability to be calm & stay calm but I think I'm so used to anxiety now it's like a normal part of life. Sometimes I even catch myself tensing up naturally :S instead of relaxing naturally if that makes sense. Kinda have to think about it 2 relax , very odd.
Anyway Hun u get some rest & try to have a good nights sleep & tomorrow u can let me know how much better u feel after taking that diazepam :P & make me all jealous that I'm not allowed any yet hehe :)
Goodnight :) x
they gave me 2mg so the smallest dose ever i still haven't taken 1 though i am scared shitless lol but i worry even tho it didn't make you spaced
it will make me spaced cos of how i react to minor drugs even :( i worry i will just set off a horrible panic attack and end up in a&e feeling 10x worse than i
already do.
i will try take your tip on board about the what ifs thing tho i just don't think i can try it with the valium lol!! i am scared of taking my propanalol now cos
i have asthma and i smoke (i know so bad when pregnant ugh..:() the doc said just keep an eye on my chest etc but i'm worrying like mad now cos my chest already feels tight
and i have read loads about not taking it when you have asthma. my psychiatrist also knows i have asthma and he didn't seem too concerned either? it doesn't really help me tho!
i was on the tablets for a week though before i started throwing up and i was fine but i did have a chest infection and struggled to breathe but so did my bf at same time so wondering if
it was just something in the air or w.e or the actual beta blocker? please reasure me lol! will i be ok if i take it? my chest wont suddenly shut down and iwont be able to breathe?! :(
my mam and bf are getting tired of me now i think with the meds. i keep on complaining how anxious i am etc then not taking my tablets soo i think they are just like well wtf can you do if you aren't going to
take the tablets stop complaining. know what i mean? i can just feel it off them. or it might just be mya nxiety telling me that lol :P
that's great that you can drive! i wish i could would be amazing! when did you last go out in the car?
woke up feeling sick again this morning :( woke up at 4am so 2 hours sleep..forced myself back to sleep until 8am so my sleep for the past 3 days has been really bad
wish it would go away this feeling :( i've never had trouble sleeping so it is really getting me. whenever i felt anxiious i'd go to sleep. it is doing my head in and getting me down tbh the sleep thing :\
have had another banana though and some water so hopefully can eat something again later on.
i did have fb but not got it anymore caused too many problems tbh i'm better off not on it! wow is a well good game :) it rly is like at first i thought i wouldn't like it but i was so suprised how fun it actually is!
that's true about eastenders! it will probs take my mind of everything haha maybe i should watch it
i've been watching stuff online lately on my laptop mainly the apprentice and an idiot abroad(even tho i've seen them all milllions of times they are so funny)
ohhhh i love lost i have the boxsets :P who is your favourite char?! apart from sawyer of course hahaha i loved ben! weird i know but i thought he was great :))
i loooove family guy and also american dad too :)
desperate housewives, supernatural, one tree hill, only fools n horses, outnumbered, peep show, inbetweeners, russel howard, britain unzipped etc! i could go on forever
i sound sad don't i rofl! i love horror movies too i used to collect them have loads on dvd! but i doubt i could watch one atm either hahaha
waking up in the morn is the worst for me atm cos i wake up after only a few hours with a horrible dread butterflys in my stomach and everything basically dreading another day
feeling like this it really gets me down :( i used to love laying in bed for hours just chilling but atm i can't do that :(
i often catch myself tensing naturally too! and when i feel relaxed it feels wrong it's so horrible lol!
how are you feeling today tho huni? hope to speak soon x
Ohh dear , u need to stop stressing about the meds , that's probably making u worse ..
If u are thinking you're gonna be really sensitive to the diazepam why not try cutting it into half or even quaters if it makes u feel better ? I promise that tiny dose couldn't make u feel weird at all it'd be like impossible , especially as ure so anxiety anyway.
& propranolol u won't really feel anything from it , it shouldn't affect your asthma because it not your lungs it works on , it's usually given to patients with like heart problems (don't freak out) but doctors started givin it to anxiety sufferes for the palpitations & hyperventilating during panic attacks. If that makes any sence lool I'm SURE you wouldn't of been given it if they through there was any risk , because it's their own jobs at risk if anything happend from prescribing meds that could harm u. I'm sure it was the chest infection that was to blame before especially if you bf was ill too , ure gonna be fine I promise, your chest won't shut down or anything like that.
Honestly propranolol is fine u will be fine taking it , what dose have they given u?
I found that it didn't work for me at the time I took it , BUT I think that may of been because I only really used to panic when I thought I felt sick (which back when I was 18 was everyday about 10 times a day) so because the propranolol didn't stop me "feeling sick" I still got freaked. Also I used to constantly think there was something wrong with my heart and when I took propranolol I couldn't feel it beating , so I panicked. Silly I know.
Tbh I might go back and ask my gp about it cause now I'm not feeling anxious and panicky about sick , it's just gone general as I said. Hmmm , I'll see :)
I'm deffinately asking my midwife about diazepam , I'm seeing her Monday soo fingers crossed she will give it the all clear or maybe say I can take it in a few weeks when I go into 2nd tri :)
Aww Hun :( I know the feeling when everyone seems fed up with u , my mom is like it sum times but she always comes & apologises afterwards , when I got my blood work done she came with me & I completely freaked out was shaking crying everything :( I faint after blood tests so I got so scared & it was when the weather was really hot & she started shouting at me saying if I can't have a blood test I won't be ale to cope with a baby
She really upset me but I calmed down & let the nurses take the blood & I felt a bit faint & wobbly but after a few minutes I felt better & on the way home she was saying how sorry she was for saying all that , I've got that way myself & said awful things when angry at her but I never mean it.
I think the most important thing to remember is your mom & your bf both love u , even if they get a little impatient or angry at times.
I've been driving since I was 18 lol :) I find it so boring driving now haha , loved it at first though , & last time I drove my car was around the 4th may , about half a week before I went into the hosp. I'm gonna go & take a little drive round to the shops or something later or tomorrow I think :) get myself used to driving again.
:( aww I'm sorry that you woke up feeling ill again , do u wake up feeling anxious? Or is it the HG? I had a little trouble going to sleep last night , I always feel worse at night :/ I'm gonna try & go to sleep earlier tonight deffinately need to get into a normal routine.
Im glad uve eaten a banana & had some water! :) I've just had some crumpets yum yum :D hehe. I'm still hungry aswel :| feeling loads better with eating today , still feeling a little on edge but not like the past couple of days.
I got a question actually & it's kinda gross haha , but do u get constipated cause of being pregnant? I do really bad :( & nothing has helped , I'm eating fruit & stuff but still nothing lool.
I agree fb does cause a lot of problems , I just block people I don't want to see my wall :P people are so nosy on there thought its unreal.
Ann I'm glad u like LOST :D my face is obvz sawyer :) haha , I like Charlie aswel though
Ahhhh I love OTH !! I used to have all the boxsets. I like inbetweeners too , Russell Howard & Britain unzipped , pretty much everything on BBC3 is good :P hehe naa u don't sound sad u sound a lot like me :D haha
What kinda music u into & stuff?
Yeahh I have had times when I've woke up in panic or with anxiety when I've been at my worse :( its awful ain't it , I went through a phase of wanting to be asleep alllllll the time.
Does your gp know u have trouble sleeping? Cause being tired in general makes anxiety worse I think. Have u ever tried kalms? They have a nighttime one which helps u relax but also has a very mild sleeping agent in it , & it's all natural stuff so no worries about meds.
Also things like night nurse might be okay? I'd check with ure doc tho cause not sure about in pregnancy.
When I was a lot younger before bad panic started , if I ever couldn't sleep I used to take benylin cough medicine , it used to make me fall asleep lmao :P I know I'm weird haha.
I can't remember if I've already asked but have u ever tried those hypnotherapy CDs for stress and anxiety? I had some ages ago & listening to them really did help , I didn't think they would but amazingly they did , I used to fall asleep listening to them haha :)
Honestly I must of tried EVERYTHING possible for anxiety haha :P
So how are u feeling now Hun? Had anything else to eat or drink yet?
Have u got a big bump or are u not showing much? I hope I get a huuuuge bump that I can show off :P seems like such a LONG way to go until I start showing.
If anything I lost weight at first :( a stone actually , I dropped from 9 to 8 , I was absolutely horrified cause because of my anxiety & the phobia of being sick I've never been a huge eater anyway so I always wanna put weight on instead of lose it! But since coming out of hospital I've put on 5 pounds :) so I'm gradually getting back up , I'd love it if pregnancy made me huge :P I hate it if anyone tells me I'm skinny or look like I've lost weight. My mom always used to say to me (jokingly of course) when I first started being scared of being sick , that "at least she never has to worry about me ever being bulimic" which is right I guess , but being how I am I envy people who can just be sick & not even think twice about it.
Hope 2 hear from u later :) x
hey hun :)
i was stressing cos it says on the box not to take when you have asthma and when you smoke but that is just my fears spiralling out of control isn't it cos my doctor
surely wouldn't prescribe it if it was going to be dangerous cos as you say it would be his neck on the line! :P it is 10mg 3x a day but i'm just gona try 2x a day as i did last week and was
feeling a lot better on just 2 :) i have took my two for tonight woooo with help from my bf and my mam haha had a bit of panic but they both reminded me my fears are not rational and just in my head :-)
maybe you should try it again hun it might work different this time cos as you say your fears have kind of changed so it is always worth a try and if it's no good then you can just stop it :D
it is safe in pregnancy too so that should be fine
they didn't actually say anything to me they just were acting kind of stressed and fed up if you know what i mean. but i don't blame them
all i do is sit and say how anxious i feel and then say i can't take the meds haha god what am i like!
ahhh i've gotten over my fear of needles and blood tests cos of pregnancy! and trust me i had a massive phobia
i got told by 2 different doctors that they thought iwas anemic this is long before i got pregnant but i refused to get blood tests done so never found out!
though i know now i'm not cos they check that in pregnancy. but anyway basically it took them like 20 mins and 4 diff docs to get my booking bloods as my veins are a nightmare to find
so that toally wiped out the blood test fear by the time that was over rofl
and since getting pregnant i've had a total of 6 drips put into my arm so that also cured that fear :P
oh what we do during pregnancy eh but it has to be done and i'm so glad to have overcome those that i don't even bat an eyelid at the needle now! it is great
you should! it will make you feel so much better! go and look at baby stuff in the shops :D i wish i had learned to pass my test when i turned 17 i'm too skint to do it now :(
but bless my poor mam she drives me everywhere as it helps calm me down i feel so bad for her but she just gets on with it cos she knows it helps me
i wake up feeling anxious but not sure if that is why i feel sick or if it is anxiety plus HG could be either really! what time do you go to bed and get up at?
mm i love crumpets! they are lush especially with choc spread orrr loads of butter
that's good that you are feeling better :) has it just died down do you think? or have you been blocking it out of your mind?
when i was like 8 weeks pregnant to about 12 weeks i had diareah soo bad then it turned into constipation LOL :( i seem to get a mixture of the two and never a bloody middle ground!
it is realllly common in pregnancy to get constipation though when you see your midwife ask her for the sachets which help 'loosen' you up :P
ugh i didn't like charlie he done my head in and idk why! lost is such a good prog though wish it were still on tv! i always felt so sorry for locke too :( bless him he made me feel so emotional LOL
oth is amazing isn't it! i haven't seen the latest series tho so might have to catch up on them :)
btw if you haven't ever seen an idiot abroad or the peep show srsly hun try and watch them they are so funny
though it depends on your type of humour i guess but i looove them have you heard of either?
i'm into mainly classic rock (bet you think i'm some fat sweaty hippie cos of wow and my music tastes don't you LMAO)
so like david bowie, the doors, jimi hendrix, pink floyd but i also like tiesto dubstep and loooooooove eminem my bf has a boy crush on eminem and who can blame him! :P
what music you into??
how did you get out of the faze of wanting to sleep all the time and waking up in a panic? did it just fade or did you do something particular?
i bought kalms but then found out you can't take it in pregnancy! :( don't think there are any sleeping aids you can take in pregnancy either urgh ;(
no i haven't but i think i'll give them a go tbh heard a lot of good stuff about them would also liek to read paul mckenna for anxiety as i have his quit smoking and help sleeping one
i'm feeling much better ty hun my bf has just been round to see me for a bit and helped me realise i can control my anxiety myself and made me feel good :) and i went for a really long drive with my mam in the car today too
i feel awful tho cos i told my bf not to stay over and i just felt so terrible saying it but i don't wana take my anxiety into anger onto him if i get bad do you know what i mean? and it makes me para he is going to get sick of me
and leave me even tho deep down i know he won't it is sitll hard to think like that :(
i wasn't showing at all really until a couple of weeks ago lol! then it started to just pop out of nowhere ;p everyone keeps saying i don't even look preg tho :(
my bfs sister is pregnant too and due 2 months before me and i keep comparing our bump sizes thinking i wish mine would show like that! hahaha
my appetite has been soo up and down this pregnancy seriously i go from binging to not eating it is a disaster but i've lost half a stone all together which isn't bad considering how sick i was at the start of the preg
though tbh i lost that half a stone within about 2 weeks and my weight is now the same as it was at my 12 week scan and at my booking app i was half a stone heavier so when it hink about it
my HG must have been at it's worst between 8-12 cos at my 12 week scan i had to get admitted for iv drip due to dehydration nd i'd already lost the half a stone then
btw this is a bit cheesy rofl but you should have a look at the site girlsense it is a bit on the kid side but i loooove it you design your own fashions n sell them n that
it is really fun LOL! have a look n see what you think ;p
hope to hear from you soon huni x
Heyyyy :) glad ure feeling better now!
Yeahh doctors wudnt give u stuff that's gonna make u ill cause u cud sue them lol my doctor is over cautious on that front espesh now I'm preg I asked her for amitriptyline before I went into hosp & she said no because I was pregnant :S but then the doctor at the hospital came & had a long chat to me and told me they were the safes anti d because of how old they are they have been used in many pregnant women , so my gp is rubbish in that way :/ which is why I'm gonna get my midwife to say what I can & can't take cause she obviously has more knowledge of preg :)
Glad uve taken ure propranolol :) hope it makes u feel a lot better , bet u haven't taken diazepam yet have u :P well if ure feeling better then no need to is there now :)
The only fear about blood tests is the fainting , I could fully watch it being done & not bat an eyelid needles, blood none of that bothers me .. I always thought I was anaemic too u know but turns out (from my bloods I've had since preg) that I actually have more iron than most pregnant women! :) doctor said my bloods were all really good & everything seemed healthy :) so that's good.
I didn't drive today , but I'm deffinately gonna tomorrow :) go down Sainsburys or something , get me out the house :)
I usually go to bed around 11-12 , but I don't go to sleep straight away cause I get more anxious at night sometimes I don't get to sleep till really late :/ & getting up depends on what time I go to sleep , the past few days I've been really tired so not been getting up till about lunch time! :/ bad I know , I always wake up about 8 to take my cyclizine though & then fall back to sleep. I'm deffo asking midwife about constipation meds cause it's horrible feeling bloated & full :(
Aww I feel sorry for Locke aswel :( when Flocke says to ben the last thing he thought while he was killing him was 'I don't understand' I was like awwwww :(:(:(:(
LOST makes me cry like a baby at times , I wish it was on tv too! This is gnna sound rele sad but u know mr echo there's one line that he says & I think it's awesome I wanna get it tattoos on me (when I'm not preg obvz!!) it's "don't mistake fate for coincidence" I love it :D bet u think I'm a right loser lmao
I've seen peep show I like it but haven't watched it loads , one tree hill is just amazing that's another 1 that gets me crying (even when I'm not dealing with hormones!)
Aww naa each to their own Hun , I'm like complete opposite I'm more into (don't like calling it is but) "chavvy music" lool! But saying that I'm open to a lot , I used to like all emo stuff when I was younger it's only in the past couple years I've gone more chavvy haha but not that nasty kind I promise! I don't go hanging round the local shops with greasy bleach blonde hair in a side pony tail & a Burberry cap lmao!
I'm a bit of a girly girl tbh , I like getting my nails done & my hair & stuff :) but I'm not 1 of those girls who thinks they're better than anyone cause I know everyone's equil :)
But yeah my music tastes vary , I like alot of stuff that's on the radio popular songs u know , but I do like other stuff too like i said my chavvy music haha :P .. not too keen on screamo music , even when I was emo I Neva liked it that much , i like emo stuff that doesnt have screaming in it thoo :) I like some older music aswel like the cure & the smiths :)
My phase of wanting to sleep all the time has generally been when I've felt really ill or really depressed/anxious .. It just kinda slipped away as I got better , or happier/calmer , times when I have woke up panicking have been when my anxiety is at its highest & just dies down as it gets calmer , I didn't really do anything in particular , there's only so much I can take of feeling awful & something in me that I don't control just sorta comes out & I think "no I'm not gonna feel this way anymore" idk why or how it happens it just does , kinda like my mind has enough of feeling sorry for itself lool , strange really.
Aww at lead he came over to see u :) and I'm sure he understands why u don't want him to stay over Hun , I would be EXACTLY the same! Has he seen u have full blown panic attacks or does he just know they happen? My ex never really saw me having a panic attack .. He did once on New years day , but he was so drunk I dont think he actually knew what was going on. He knew I got them but if I was around his & got 1 id run off into the other room & sit on my own until I calmed down , but that was when my anxiety wasn't too bad so I calmed down quickly.
I used to live with him u see in his flat , & sometimes he wud have loads of his friens over on a friday or Saturday , but if I ever said to him that I felt anxious & wanted to go to bed he wud make sure no one came in to me cause he knew it made me worse. & I'd just go to bed & chill on my own & feel loads better.
I'm sure your bf knows that you're going through a hard time right now Hun he not gonna leave u , don't worry he obviously loves u & wants u and the baby for him to be around now & coming 2 see u & reassuring u like u said about the tablets :)
Yhh my appetite has been all over the place , even though now I'm hoping it's evening out a bit! :) some days I get SO hungry , it's like nothing will fill me up & some days I think hmm not rele hungry but I still eat cause I don't feel sick i just done feel hungry , better to eat if u can ain't it :)
I can't believ u had 6 IVs :/ just 1 was enough for me! But I didn't care at the time I welcomed it cause I felt so bad , I was just begging th nurse to give me something to stop the sickness , woahh the cyclizine through IV was awesome :P loved it , it was like being on drugs lmao can't remember if I've told u bout this before , but I imagine u wouldnt of liked it cause this DID make me feel spaced out , more than spaced out! I was talking nonsense to my mom & talking really fast , my heart was racing & I had palpitations but it weren't scary I just felt very woozy , kinda like I was drunk , but not , actually felt more like being on cocaine or sumfink (yes I have took drugs before i know bad me :(:(:( wud never do it now tho) the cyclizine tablets dont make me feel like that now , they just stop the sickness :) but the nurse did say I might feel a bit wobbly cause it was beij injected straight into my vein , I didn't think I would make me so out of it lool I just told told her to get the meds in me! Was such a relief to not feel sick , I was so happy haha.
I also used to smoke too (remember u saying u did) but as soon as I tested positive every time I sparked up a cigarette I just felt ill , so I quit , I don't know how cause I tried so hard loads a times , I started when I was 14! That must of been my sub conscious again!
I'll go check out that girlsence thing :p I like stuff like that tbf :D
What kinda style u got? Like dress sence? :) like I said I'm a girly girl hehe :P not all pink & frilly though! Although sometimes pink is nice :)
Speak soon Hun :) x
i am seeing the peri natal team about meds some time next week so i think i will ask them about this amitrityline
did you get any start up side effects? that is my worry about taking another anti d with like 2-3 weeks of horrible side effects n
heightened anxiety etc
argh i have such a massive fear of fainting it is what set off this anxiety the other week cos i felt so dizzy i thought i was gona faint was so scary!
i hate blood and veins urgh veins make me feel sick to my stomach LOL so even though the needles don't bother me i can't look or else i think i would pass out ;p
you should go asda they have some realllly cute baby stuff on atm! idk if it will be the same in your area as mine tho but i think so wont it??
have you bought any baby stuff yet?
i think the constipation stuff is called fibregel or something it is orange flavour n she will defo give you it ;) btw did you know you will get a 500 sure start maternity grant payment?
one to ask your midwife about too :) you don't get it until 11 weeks before your due but still! worth looking into
me and my mam would sit n cry our eyes out at locke hahaha he made me feel so bad omg i really did feel for him and his eyes are like puppy eyes so it made it worse!
nd no you are not sad at all! my fav lost quote which i'd love tattood is 'hope is a dangerous thing to lose' by sayid! i looved sayid too thought he was wicked :d
do you have any tattoos? i have a lightning bolt on my foot and a big vine going up the side of my calf with leaves and butterflies around it
ahahahah well dw cos i also listen to new monkey n powerhouse!! it is the cd we have in the car ;p i don't rly listen to stuff that is out now tbh
apart from like i said eminem n a few other rappers i loooooooove the cure n the smiths :) i also like bon iver n damien rice n that type of stuff too
i used to be emo when i was younger too and listened to the music which i now think is a pile of shite tbh lol!
bullet for my valentine n all that no ty! tho i do like death cab for cutie :)
bless him he is amazing and really does try to help me n he understands but i can't help feel bad still! and yeah he has seen me at rock bottom lol literally
full on panic attack snot out of my nose and the works hahahaha but i feel really comfortable around him it's just sometimes when i'm not alone i can't seem to get a hold of the anxiety
if that makes sense? like it seems to linger more :S
aww how long did you live with him? my bf lived with me and my mam for 7 months how long have you known babys dad?
i know deep down he won't leave me it's just that niggle in my head which won't fk off lol!
last week before i took the sertraline and ended up ill again when i was on beta blockers for a week i couldn't get enough food srsly all i wanted to do was eat
n apparently they slow down your metabolism so i will end up the size of a house if i get that appetite back LOL tho tbh i'd take being fat over feeling anxious any day!
i really would n i have such a massive body weight issue so that is saying something coming from me!
omg i did have cyclizine through the drip the first time i got admitted and i had a full blown panic attack hahaha i didn't know wtf was going on seriously
she injected something in and iwas like er what is that? she was like anti sickness then all of a sudden i felt a rush and started shaking n sure enough there goes the panic attack
i was like mam what is happening i feel rly funny omg im gona pass out etc etc like ya do hahahahhaha! i must of looked such an idiot seriously i was having a full on panic
infront of loads of nurses and drs going in and out! it was a horrible feeling! so now when i get the iv i always say i dont want anything injected LOL i'm even cautious when they spray the water through to clean the drip
incase it is something else! i have also took drugs before but they all set off panic attacks in me (which probs isnt a bad thing or i'd probably be a right druggie lol!)
well the hardest drug i've took is speed and i wouldn't dream of going there again. speed and a panic attack is not a good combination as you can imagine rofl
i do feel guilty when smoking :( but with everything else going on (i kno i kno no excuse really!) it's like i don't think i could handle quitting aswel i've been smoking since i was 12
and btw massive well done to you for quitting tho serious self control that is!! do you never miss it? i suppose the guilt could over run that lol i sound so selfish don't i smoking :(
tbh i have a bit of a mixed style :s i always wear dresses though i hate pants. i never wear pants either dresses or skirts with leggings/tights
n dr martens (love them!!!) ugg style boots converse or a pair of trainers rly like i said mixed style! i love pink too my bedroom is pink and cream :-)
night night hun take care x
The only thing I got with amitriptyline was a bit of a dry mouth when I woke up & a little sleepy if I took it in the day which is why I take it when I'm in bed at night , it helps with sleeping :) but it's not like some really harsh sedative or anything like that!
I didn't get worse anxiety or anything like that , plus u can start on a tiny dose if u ask 10mg is the lowest I was on that ages ago but when I was in the hosp they started me on. 25mg dose but I'm used to it now & it doesn't make me have dry mouth or sleepy , I still tak it at night though just because I'm used to it lol :)
I will have 2 check out ASDA baby clothes :) gonna go 2 a few places when I'm right again , cause even though I'm a lot less anxious now I still don't wanna jump into doing everything all at once cause it might cause the anxiety to come back , just doing it slowly :) I've made that mistake before of thinking I can run before I can walk & I ended up having an awful panic & going back 2 square 1!
I've been on the phone to my exs mom tonight discussing baby stuff :) I'm really close with her so that's good & she has suffered anxiety before so she knows what I'm going through :) we were chatting about names , she keeps saying she's convinced I'm having a girl :P her niece is pregnant aswel at the mo and her nieces boyfriends sister (confusing I know haha) but they are all around 6 months same as u , there's little me only at 10 weeks :P desperately wanting the weeks to fly by haha :P
She told me my ex should be ringing me at some point after the weekend to have a proper chat about things , we have spoke but only for a few minutes cause of u kno , circumstances but apparently we will be able to talk for longer next week :)
I know what u mean , I hav always been comfortable round my ex , he's seen me when I've had no sleep , been hungover (thankfully hangovers don't make me sick!) looking awful everything haha , obvs I lived with him so he saw me first thing of a mornin (NOT a pretty sight hahahah) the only thing I had a bit of anxiety around him over was eating , I don't like eating infront of everyone but I used to manage once I realised he wasn't watching me anyway haha.
I lived with him for about 6 months I've known him a year & a half now but we only got together properly autumn time last year , then we split up in Jan but I still went up 2 see him for agess afterwards , it was practically like we were together but we weren't haha & I lived with my mom instead of him lool. Where does ure bf live now? With his parents?
Loool that cyclizine :P I did wonder if u had had it injected IV cause u said u hated the spaced out feeling & that is the worst for it! Haha , I read somewhere that people use it to get high at parties & stuff & I can see why , I couldn't even walk straight im quite surprised I kept as calm as I did tbh, I think I was just so relived not to feel sick that I didn't care about the other stuff .. At first I did freak a little I looked at the nurse & could see 2 of her lmao I must of looked worries cause she was like its normal it will pass before I even said woah wtfs happening :P they gave me the tablets to take the day after so I only got it injected the once lool , wouldn't of minded having it again tbf :P Lmaooo. U know ive never took speed , only cocaine & ecstasy , back in my teen days was when I took ecstasy , I was taking the cocaine with my ex before we got together everyone did it so I just joined in , BOTH ecstasy and cocaine gave me panic attacks & I swear have had a long term effects which is y I'm anxious a lot now :/ ecstasy didn't start giving me panic attacks straight away , but I took 1 this 1 day & felt sooooo bad :| I never touched it again , then cocaine was the same never used to make me panic jus got a gud high off it , them New Years Eve I had 1 line (baring in mind that earlier on in 2011 I had been doing loads & feeling fine) & off the 1 line it made me feel so ill , I started panicking & ever ran out of my exs flat (I was livin there at the time) & went downstairs in the lobby to calm down on my own , I rang my mom & was freaking out on the fone telling her to come & get me I thought I wud have 2 go hospital or something I felt SO bad! I calmed down after about an hour of crying to my mom on the fone & went back up to the flat where everyone (we had friends over obvz for NYE) was like where hav u been!!??? I explained 2 this girl who I was close with wat had happened & she was like ohh okay don't worry go to bed , so I was in bed at about 1:30am on NYE lmao , I felt better but I just wanted to try & sleep it off , I didn't even drink hardly anything either the cocaine really knocked me about :/ I dunno y cuz everyone else had it & was fine!
Anyway that was one of the times where my ex made sure everyone left me alone in bed , then at 7 in the morning he came in , woke me up WRECKED out his face & told me he was going out! I was like :| "wtf!? Come to bed" haha but there's no telling him when he's drunk lool he went out & I hadn't heard from him like all day , it was about 3pm , I had got up & tidied up (the mess was unreal!) then rang his mom to say he hadn't come back , she foned his cousin who he had gone out with & found him asleep on their sofa lmao
Somehow she got him back to her house & I drove over 2 pick him up & he was still wrecked! Talking so much nonsense lmao , but I felt really sick from the cocaine STILL & I had a panic attack in his moms back garden (this is the tym I was on about when he saw me panic haha) his mom helped me calm down & then I drove us home , he fell asleep on the sofa, then woke up , ate his dinner (his mom had done for us lool) & he sobered up a little , then we just went & chilled in bed & watched tv.
I felt better after he sobered up loool
Sorry for the rambling :P speak 2 u tomorrow then Hun night night :):) x
I am so happy you two found each other. It is wonderful to see you helping each other. Panic attacks are just sensations [ feelings] they will not kill you [ although it feels like it] Anxiety is worry and you can over dose on adrenalin when you worry a lot ,even if there is nothing to worry about. If you release adrenalin to much it can start releasing on its own thinking it is normal. So you are anxious because you are not worrying but because you have adrenalin rushing through you and it hypes you up. Reprogramming your thoughts can help . Letting the feelings go through you without giving it the importance it is used to can reduce its affect on you or getting help to reprogram your thoughts. I am sorry about the throwing up ,it can be made worse from being pregnant. Good luck and keep looking for answers and help. Knowledge is power and you may just find ways to help yourselves. :flowers:
Aww thanks a lot waunder! :) I'm happy I've found Alamie on here , she is awesome! & i think shes SO brave !! Talking with her over the past few days we have wrote so much to eachother as u can see haha :P & we have both helped eachother & reassured eachother about different things :) I've felt a lot better with someone to talk to & I really appreciate it! :)
I think it helps loads when u find some one who is so similar to urself in times of panic & anxiety & especially in pregnancy :D
So glad I joined this site , no one is judgemental or rude as I have found on other sites , everyone here experiences or has experienced panic &/or anxiety at some point & it helps to know that others understand fully what ure going through!
Anyway I better go to try & sleep! Haha I said I was going to sleep early tonight! Didn't happen :P oh well night night x
did it take long to get into your system and start working on your anxiety?
i understand what you mean about not wanting to over do it hun just take it one step at a time. is the constant anxiety feeling still with you all day or
just now and again now?
aw that's good that you're close to her :D and also that she knows what you are going through makes a world of difference when people understand and have been there themselves! :)
what names do you like? have you thought of any? woo that's good that he will be ringing for a proper catch up :) hopefully will make you feel better too!
i am 100percent comfortable around my bf which is why feeling like this is bothering me :( i am the same around my mam too though and idk i guess people just deal with
things in different ways some people are better off around other people n others are better off on their own for a while :) my bf keeps telling me i need to do something to
take my mind off everything. he thinks the reason i'm feeling so bad is cos i just constantly think as i'm not doing anything else to rely occupy my mind. which is true really
i always just sit in my bedroom so i think i need to start doing something i just don't know what and i have no energy what so ever today :( had a terrible sleep again had to keep forcing myself
back to sleep over and over and i'm sure i was waking up within minutes it's awful ugh i am so tired i can't be bothered to move. i have that dreaded butterfly anxious feelig in my stomach again and just feel so low
i could curl up in a ball and die tbh :( i keep crying n getting upset cos idk how to cope with the feelings it is so overwhelming and i think i'm most scared that this feeling isn't going to go away
like i'm struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel and scared i'm gona feel like this forever i am struggling to cope every minute of every day now and idk what to do really it's getting to me so bad ;\
sorry for the depressing post hun i just am having a tough one right now i guess :(
hope you are feeling good though and will talk to you soon x
---------- Post added at 15:01 ---------- Previous post was at 14:58 ----------
thanks for that lovely post waunder! :) i too am glad i met lousicle cos it helps to just know i can have someone to talk to who understands how i feel and help me feel better about everything when i feel like crap and that i too can help her when she is feeling down
it is a win win situation :-) and you too are brave lousicle! never forget that you have massive strength to get through whatever you need huni x
Hmm , it did take a couple of weeks to start working properly on the anxiety , but that's the same with all anti d's :)
I'm finding that if I push myself to get up & do stuff rather than stay in bed it's making me feel a lot better & giving me more energy , but it varies day to day , some days I just feel awful & shakey & anxious all day & I stay in bed when I'm like that cause I get scared to move in case it makes me worse :/ I find that if I think positive & make that first step of getting up & doin something , even if it's just gettin in the shower & concentrate on doing my hair afterwards nice afterwards (instead of just shoving it into a wet pony tail which is wat I've been doing :|) idk some how it helps cause then I'm up , doing things u know?
Im not getting panic attacks but I do feel anxious every day even if it's not as bad 1 day it could be worse the next .. & like I said dnt wana over do it , so when good days come I make the most of it.
I know exactly how u feel with ure mom & ure boyfriend , I thought I would be the only 1 feeling that way when it first started happening that i wanted to be alone , it confused me cause I've read so much about people wi anxiety and panic who can't stand to be without someone there! It rele is different for everyone & I'm sure everyone likes to have their own time now & again.
I'm so sorry u feel so bad again :(:(
I feel awful now cause I've had a really positive day & then there's poor u having a bad time *hugs*
I had to get up this morning cause I had an appointment (which was actually a waste of time as I got there & waited a hour to be told they were off sick!)
Anyway I was up at 8 , I was gonna ask my mom to ring & cancel cause I was panicking about going out (yet again last night I didn't get to sleep until late , I'm surprised I even woke up at all)
Felt pretty crap from no sleep but i went & got in the shower to try & make myself feel better & it did :)
Got out & got dressed and ready & then my mom was like "do u wanna drive or do u want me to" & I've been saying for days now I'm gonna so I did :) & it was soooo weird & I was scared to death , I was even having a mini panic like breathing really fast , but we got down the road & it wasn't so bad , & after about 10 mins I actually relaxed!
So after being told I'd had a wasted journey we were on the way home , we were gonna pop in the shop on the way back cause my mom needed sum bread & stuff & we were drivin past my exs moms house & we saw her walking down the road , so we ended up pulling up & chatting to her for a good hour , I'm actually in shock typing this because I haven't been able to do anything like this for ages , I hadn't seen my exs mom for about 6 weeks before I was in hospital & everything.
Then we ended up going 2 Merry Hill (dunno if u know of it. It's the shopping centre by me) & I actually walked round without panicking! I couldn't believe it , I even got my eyebrows done at 1 if those little stalls they have .. Now I've just got home , been out for a good bit of the day , & don't get me wrong I wasn't calm the whole time , I felt my heart start racing a few times over the day but I just quickly tried to distract myself by asking my mom questions or just chatting in general.
So looking at it from the day I've had ure bf does make sence saying if u had ure mind busy u wudnt be so anxious , but at the same time I know exactly what if feels like to be tired & feel like crap & not want to do anything at all :( being pregnant aswel doesn't help with the tiredness.
:( aww Hun I have those days where it feels like its never gonna end , I've cried myself silly over it :( but good days WILL happen for u , have the propranolol not started working yet? What about the diazepam? Sorry 2 go on about it but it really did help me in times when I have been so anxious I've been screaming and crying & hyperventilating & I really want u to get some relief.
Don't worry about it , it's not depressive you're just expressing how u feel.
How are u feeling now? What about if u play WoW or something for abit? Concentrating on that might make u feel a little better if ure feeling tired & stuff?
How's ure appetite today? Aww I'm so worried about u :( I really hope u start feeling better!
Speak later huni xx try not to get too upset , u won't feel this bad forever I promise x
---------- Post added at 15:46 ---------- Previous post was at 15:45 ----------
Also did u get my emails of the photos? :) x
that's my worry i know i'm being so unrealistic but i can't stand to wait so long for stuff to work :( i know i should taake the diazapam cos it works straight away but ugh
i'm worried aswel cos i looked up about it in preg n it's made me worry even more now about it cos of the baby n stuff :( n then what if i like it too much and when i come off it i feel even worse cos i've had a few days relief
do you kno what i mean?
i kno what you mean sometimes when i just get up and do stuff i do feel a lot better i always feel better when istop thinking when my mind is focusing on something else i feel great :)
hahahaha wet pony tail i am a right state atm seriously i just don't even look after myself anymore that's how ill i feel :s it's so bad..
don't feel bad huni that's so good that you had a good day! :D:D well done you on making those positive steps and hopefully it will just continue and you will keep getting better and better :D
what app was it? the midwife?
aww you should try get an early night will make you feel better i'm sure :D
woo go you on driving the car though! that is amazing you are making such progress hun you should be really proud :) and getting your eyebrows done and feeling ok about that is massive
bet it was nice to see your exs mam was it? and have a proper talk to her? do your mam and your exs mam get on well too?
i think if i start forcing myself to eat and drink more then force myself back to sleep i should hopefully feel better idk :( only had a half a banana today feel really sick and tired
couldn't face eating i don't think so will see how ifeel later on and hope sooo much i get a better nights sleep and feel better tomorrow!
my bf is coming over soon to stay the night and bring his pc so i think i may play some wow with him might make me feell better i hopeeee!
don't worry about me huni like you said you had a positive day so why can't i get better? if you can do it i can too :D :)
thx so much again for making me feel better though huni you really are so lovely to talk to!
speak soon :) x
nd yes i replied to your emails :D
I hate waiting for meds to work too :( but at least if u started taking them even if u didn't feel better right away u know u will soon , I was like that when I first ever got given anti d's and got told they don't work for ages .. But my dr said well u can either take them , & have a little wait then feel a lot better , or u can just not take them at all & feel the same .. Imagine if u didn't take it & in 4 weeks time u still feel rotten , u wud be thinkin to urself "if only I'd took them I cud be feeling better now" u knoww , I can completely see where ure comin from tho , I never ever ever take any meds if 1 of the side effects are nausea/vomiting cause I'd be freaking out the whole time just incase so I know wat u mean about not wanting to take diazepam .. The only thing I've ever taken that could of made me sick are antibiotics & my doctor practically had 2 lie 2 me & say they won't make me sick before I'd taken them , I'll never take meds on an empty stomach (apart from cyclizine) cause of the upset tummy thing :/
I can understand ure worries about diazepam tbh , but all the people who post about it being unsafe in preg , they are on about for people who are on mega high doses like 30 & 40 mg , I read somewhere that the studies that have proven pregnancy complications have been from high doses , & 2mg is a teeny tiny dose honest. It's generally the 1st tri where it could be dangerous aswel cause the baby hasn't formed properly & stuff.
If I do get diazepam from the midwife (which is tomoz) I would only ever take 1 as a last resort if I was panicking from the minute I woke up or something , & u probably would like them a lot , but it's not like take it once & ure hooked for life kinda thing the people who are addicted to it are yet again those people who have been taking HIGH doses for years & years. I used 2 take a few a week on average when I was takin them , & I never felt like I was addicted , I didn't feel worse the day after taking one or anything like that , & that was on 5mg.
I've looked in some right states over the past few weeks , when I went into hospital I had horribly greasy hair & was wearing the same pyjamas for about a week :( I just felt so ill I couldn't of got 2 the shower , so don't worry about stuff like that , although I found that when I did get in a nice warm bath after coming out of hosp it helped my muscles relax & feel a bit better , ino when I feel bad I never want 2 get out of bed for anything & looking after my appearance is the last thing on my mind.
The appointment 2day was at the police station had 2 give another statement about sumfink that happened a while back but they had lost it or something so they asked for me 2 go & give it , it was that long ago now I can't even remember if I've told them the right thing hahaa , owel , their fault for losing it.
I'm deffinately gonna try & get an early night tonight , I'm sure illbe able to sleep cause I've only had like 3-4hours haha , I'm surprised I'm not that tired tbh .. I wanna start getting up early like today cause somehow it just made me feel better to not be waking up in afternoon , cause then it's like half the days over.
I still can't believe I did all that today , I've eaten breakfast , lunch & dinner today aswel :| I don't even wanna say things are looking up cause I don't wanna jinx myself haha :P I'm just gona go with it & hope it lasts!
Aww it was lovely seeing my exs mom , yeahh she & my mom get on well :) we were just having a general chit chat , I speak 2 her on the phone a lot but it's not the same as seeing someone in person is it , I was worried actually because she's been saying she wants 2 come 2 my scan in a couple weeks & I was thinking "oh no wat if I can't be around her & I get panicky & anxious & freak out & ruin my scan day" but I've seen her now & I didn't panic at all so a lot less worried about her coming with me now :)
Do u rush ure food to try & get it down quickly? (I've done that when I've not been able to eat when anxious)
Try eating a little bit of toast or something that won't be harsh on ure stomach , & if u do rush with eating , try to chew it more & show urself that it won't hurt u , try to relax all ure muscles before u eat & eat when ure watching tv or doing something else so u don't think about eating , i know it's weird but that's what I did & it worked so well.
I hope u get a good nights sleep aswel Hun , cause u know tiredness can make u feel sick sometimes aswel & as u haven't been sleeping properly Or getting much at all I could see why ure feeling so ill , will u feel better sleeping next to ure bf perhaps? I used to be comfortable sleeping next to my ex , but right at the mo I dunno , I think I've got used to sleeping alone so much that Itd freak me out if I woke up next 2 someone haha :P well at least u will have ur bf to play WoW with so that's one thing that can take ure mind off it :)
I'm still gonna worry about u , I just want u 2 come on here & say "woooo I've had a really good day today!" cause I know how good it's made me feel , u will get there though Hun I know u can do it :)
I realised after I posted earlier that I hadn't checked my emails today haha , so I went on & saw them after that & realised u must of got them haha :P
Sorry I've took so long to reply Hun ! Hope u & ure bf are having a nice night! :) speak soon x
sadprincess
14-07-12, 09:41
hi
Im not sure if this will help but i too had very bad anxiety and issues with health and being constantly sick and the doctors gave me zispin which apparently helps if your sick due to anxiety. I wasnt pregnant however so im not sure about it being safe for the baby, but maybe a thought for after the baby arrives. They really help me and are low dose i had no side affects apart from a little drowsy the first week of taking them.
All the best with your pregnancies :hugs:
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