View Full Version : my main trigger...
hey, wasn't sure what to category impost this in so I could be in the wrong place so please let me know if I am! Basicslly, I thought maybe if I told some of you lot my main sort of anxiety/panic attack trigger type thing maybe you all could make me feel less weird? Well, I can't stay overnight at people's houses. I know it sounds ridiculous and illogical but everytime I have ever planned to try and over come it I have had HORRENDOUS anxiety constantly for the days leading up to it, sometime causing me to be sick or have terrible diarohea (sorry, too much info!). Then, whenever I have actually tried to do it, at the persons house I have always had these horrendous panic attacks where I am horrendously crying and can't seem to calm myself down until I go home and wake up the next morning.
It is kind of odd and is like my biggest anxiety problem, it's also quite embarrassing being 16 a lot of my friends don't get it. laugh at me for it really thinking I am being over dramatic or immature. But it's really neither of those things, and the way it makes me feel is honestly the worst feeling I have eer experienced. Currently on propranolol and been referred to a mental health specialist for children and adolescents, but was hoping some of you could make me feel less silly and embarrassed about all of this? It has been going on since I was about 7, and has slowly gotten worse and worse since then.
Thanks everyone! x
Its ok, I have this too but your fear of staying over seems to be the focal point of your anxiety. Maybe you can think back to your childhood and see if something might have set this off? For me, I find it difficult to stay over at houses because I used to have night terrors as a kid and I sort of fear it will happen at a friends house even though it hasn't happened in years and years. Instead I just have panic attacks there and the mental images before hand of myself having to leave the house or run outside or plan a route home to escape and so on...
I think a lot of people with anxiety have this fear because you are out of your comfort zone and trapped with poeple who don't understand. Throw in maybe a fear of it getting dark? You will probably find the main reason it's too scary now is because you are simply afraid of having a panic attack at the house - your fear of fear. Best thing to do is to learn how to manage a panic attack, learn why it is not harmful or dangerous, get those skills in place so that when you do feel a panic coming on your can rationalize your fears and carry on with your day :)
Ahhh, thanks so much for your response, it has always been something I have been very self conscious about. Yes, you are exactly right... I genuinely am more scared of that horrible anxious panicky feeling than actually staying over, but I relate the two so closely that I just cannot bring myself to do it as I am so scared of the feeling that I get anxious over being anxious... sounds ridiculous! not sure if it even makes sense what I am saying.. But I have never ever been able to fid any cause of this, nothing specific in my life appears to have triggered it off!
I understand, friends in this day and age just don't understand their more nervous friends like us! People think all teenagers mindlessly go out drinking every night, it doesn't occur to people that it isn't everyone's cup of tea to go to sleepovers and teenagery things. There isn't always a trauma type thing behind it...it might be you were just a bit nervous one day for any old reason and the nervous feeling grew and now it has turned into panic attacks...so don't eat yourself over finding a memory that caused it.
Just focus on the future - learn what's behind the fight-or-flight response, learn how to counter act it, and whatever you do, don't start to limit yourself. If you have something coming up, keep yourself distracted while it's coming and don't dwell on it or you get exaggerated anxious beliefs forming. It can be helped if you tackle it right :)
How about going to a friends (a supportive one) and staying round till late awake, then going again and staying later and on and on. Even staying round all night eventually, but stay awake, you may fall asleep. Try and take away that feeling of i said im staying so i have to and remove that pressure, try and take that attitude ok i can leave if i want to.
I have a daughter who suffered from this due to having aspergers and being anxious a lot of the time. We had to let her go to so many places knowing we would probably have to collect her. That seemed to make it easier for her to try. Eventually she stayed. Hope it works out and if it doesnt then so what ? you dont stay out, no law against that :)
that is a really good idea and I would love to implement it or at least give it a go, however not many of my friends really get my issues and I feel bad making them stay up with me or whatever. Plus I would have to get a taxi home, which would cost me more etc.. I really want to be able to crack it as I want to be able to go on my sixth year holiday and consider moving away for university and just doing all the things my friends are doing. but thanks for your input rockydog :)
oh and PanchoGoz, it's soo lovely to speak to someone who gets where I am coming from and doesn't see it as me being immature or weird. I have genuinely lost some friends over it as I have seen how harshly they have reacted. For some reason, many people around me seem to think that it's just a bit of a joke. Some of my friends occasionally even make little snide comments about it and if I am react and am offended I am being ridiculous and need to learn to laugh at myself... I just wish my friends understood that this is a very sensitive and raw subject for me as I am do mortified over the whole thing :(
I know friends are important but friends can also make things hurt and that does not make what you are going through any easier. Panic attacks are feelings, sensations your body takes on. It will not kill you [ although it feels like it] and it will go away if you can learn the coping techniques that work. On the side bar here to the left they have all kinds of information to help control and even let go of your attacks. I have a on my I Pod a person who talks me through an attack a CD to. I never use them any more but just knowing I have them and they work has helped soooo very much.:)
I feel the same , I physically couldn't go & stay at a friends house (I'm 21) , I'd be too anxious to even go round!
This started for me when I was around your age , I have a bad phobia of being sick (I can handle others being sick as long as its through drink or something non contagious) & so I guess I just got very panicky staying over anyone's house for fear of being sick in the night & not being home. Even at 21 I always want my mom if I feel sick.
It did get better , slowly , I started with trying to go to my best friends house & stay over (I ended up calling my mom 2 pick me up) & the same my friends didn't really get why & were confused asking what was up , I couldn't explain to them because I always say & believe that if you have never experienced panic you could never understand the fear/dread & horror it causes.
As time went on & I went through CBT , was on meds etc I started feeling more & more confident , I had arranged to go around a friends but had explained before I went that if I did have to leave it was nothing personal , got there was a little jittery but put my oping methods into practice & I stayed the night! Was so relieving & proved to me that I was getting better.
I had friends around & stayed at theirs a lot after that.
But now I'm back to square 1 kinda , it's because I'm pregnant though & all anxiety is running sky high! I'm sure after the hormones settle I will be able to function normally :) just stay strong & don't force yourself to do anything , go at your own pace & anyone who tries to make u do different ignore them
Good luck!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.